What's the best way to confirm in advance whether a provider will agree to your fetish?

Many providers don't want to discuss specific services through text or calls (and understandably so, for liability reasons)

That being said, for the sake of the provider and the client, it's best if both parties are on the same page ahead of time (as far as what the client wants out of the session)

My providers I've gotten with on a regular basis are aware of my fetish. I like to see new providers from time to time, however. There have been times with new providers where they get here, only for it to turn out they refuse my fetish.

In a nutshell, I'm looking for a way to confirm fetish willingness in advance with new providers, yet refrain from making her suspect I'm a cop entrapping her.

If she has a website then you should find out if she's fetish friendly or not. Reviews would be another way.

Carefully wording what interests you, is one thing.

Asking if another person will provide it is specific and taboo.

I love hearing what people are interested in. I hate being asked if I am an alphabet girl. (xyz etc)

Usually I am a menu hobbiests.

I Usually look for quick appointments, or HH and as I am Tying my shoes to head out the door I ask:"Can we consider???." If she says yes, I say: How about we schedule and hour this afternoon."

Go hit the ATM Machine, and come back.

Letting a provider know what you like from a session you pay her for after screening usually gets you in hot water and is taboo, especially from providers who you would not see if they paid you double their donation rate, then you are stuck with those providers following your posts forever. You are forever considered a hard to please client.

Giving subtle hints or just going in hoping for the best gives the provider the excuse of giving a "meh" mentally checked out dead fish session doing little as possible service and her telling you she cannot read your mind. Then expecting a glowing review afterwards.

So either way, it is your fault!

Without giving away my exact fetish, let's just say my specific fetish requires some advance planning. So it's not enough to simply check her ad/website to see if she mentions being fetish-friendly.

I'd need to make sure she comes prepared.

On that note, in addition to some providers telling me upon arrival that they won't do my fetish, there have also been providers who said they'd be willing to do my fetish...but they couldn't because they didn't come prepared

I do a couple fetishes maybe not be what someone is looking for.
After I have you screened I will ask what is your fetish,
after all I don't what anyone visiting me if we don't agree on what kind of sassion is going to take place.
But every provider has her own way of doing things .. I

Another thing worth mentioning: Even though I generally have sex with providers, my fetish doesn't require intercourse to take place.

In other words, even if a provider agrees to my fetish ahead of time, she's still likely protected from arrest if I turned out to be a cop (as even if she agreed to my fetish through text, she wouldn't be outright agreeing to sex)

Another thing worth mentioning: Even though I generally have sex with providers, my fetish doesn't require intercourse to take place.

In other words, even if a provider agrees to my fetish ahead of time, she's still likely protected from arrest if I turned out to be a cop (as even if she agreed to my fetish through text, she wouldn't be outright agreeing to sex) Originally Posted by AdventurousMouse

You don't have to agree to sex to be arrested, it is any sexual service, be that a hand job, lewd act or whatever it may be.

If it is not sex related, maybe you would have better luck on one of the fetish websites.

I do not answer any questions about anything service related. It is clear why I am here & my reviews are plentiful, so there is no reason to ask me anything which is illegal. I actually find it offensive.

You don't have to agree to sex to be arrested, it is any sexual service, be that a hand job, lewd act or whatever it may be.

If it is not sex related, maybe you would have better luck on one of the fetish websites.

I do not answer any questions about anything service related. It is clear why I am here & my reviews are plentiful, so there is no reason to ask me anything which is illegal. I actually find it offensive. Originally Posted by Brooke Wilde

I'm on FetLife. I haven't had much luck with FetLife though.

Only one woman from FetLife has agreed to meet up for fetish play. And the price she charged for fetish play alone was $300. I've gotten sessions that included sex and fetish play for cheaper than that through actual escorts.

In other words, fetish websites aren't exactly reliable for what I'm looking for.

In my experience, while some actual escorts charge extra for fetishes, most have a flat rate they charge per session (no matter how much or how little happens during the session)

On days when I'm only in the mood for fetish play, I'm better off hiring a $150-200 (or even $250) escort than paying the FetLife girl $300 for fetish play.

You can find explicit questions rude all you want (and I see where you're coming from). The unique circumstances of my fetish, however, make it so that it really isn't feasible to simply hope a provider comes prepared for my fetish.

Imagine if you traveled all the way to a client's destination, only to find out he was looking for a service you didn't come prepared for (even if you'd be willing to do the fetish had you known ahead of time), so then the client refused to pay you.

To elaborate on what I said (on my last post), I'd never stiff a provider.

I've had excellent sessions, disappointing sessions, and so-so sessions. No matter how underwhelming the session might have been, paying for a session that actually happened is the right thing to do.

That being said, there's a difference between an underwhelming session that actually happened vs a session you had to cancel upon the provider's arrival (because it turned out the provider was either unwilling or unprepared to provide what you wanted)

I don't think we should have to pay for sessions that get cancelled upon arrival.

It goes both ways also. A provider told me she's turned clients away when they arrived to her incall.

To elaborate on what I said (on my last post), I'd never stiff a provider.

I've had excellent sessions, disappointing sessions, and so-so sessions. No matter how underwhelming the session might have been, paying for a session that actually happened is the right thing to do.

That being said, there's a difference between an underwhelming session that actually happened vs a session you had to cancel upon the provider's arrival (because it turned out the provider was either unwilling or unprepared to provide what you wanted)

I don't think we should have to pay for sessions that get cancelled upon arrival.

It goes both ways also. A provider told me she's turned clients away when they arrived to her incall. Originally Posted by AdventurousMouse

Let me ask you, on your sessions, what percentage of the donation rate did you pay for the excellent ones? the disappointing sessions? the so-so sessions? Since you said you never stiff the provider her donation fee, then I am going to assume you paid 100% of the donation each time. That is the right thing to do. Imagine if you could subtract a percentage of her requested donation based on the services promised as opposed to the services actually provided, then there would be lots of providers going hungry.

But, since you cannot do that (as it is perfectly fine with this crowd for a provider to do an uninspired session and get paid fully for it), then there are things you can do that will definitely not be popular, but would be right. On the excellent sessions, continue to see those providers in the future, on the so-so and disappointing sessions, do not see them again. In any event, let the other guys know YOUR opinion of your experience with providers you see and/or interact with.

If you are the provider cancels the session before you meet for whatever reason, legit or not, or even after you meet the other person for 5-10 minutes and walk out, you do not have to pay a dime. While the old adage of you are paying for a provider's time is the way it is presented, the real reason you are paying a provider is for services rendered. No service, no pay, period. To avoid this, another unpopular thing to do is lay down your likes in an undemanding way for a session you pay for, including fetishes. The reason it is unpopular is it is different from going with the flow and hoping for the best as many providers do not care for guys who have standards and know what they desire. IMO, going through the motions, laying there mentally checked, no motion or emotion out while the hobbyist gets a nut is not a good session.

Remember tho, if you are a legit hobbyist, nothing is 100% but the provider getting 100% of her donation, so you as the hobbyist are always going to be susceptible to getting the short straw on services. That is a fact.

Let me ask you, on your sessions, what percentage of the donation rate did you pay for the excellent ones? the disappointing sessions? the so-so sessions? Since you said you never stiff the provider her donation fee, then I am going to assume you paid 100% of the donation each time. That is the right thing to do. Imagine if you could subtract a percentage of her requested donation based on the services promised as opposed to the services actually provided, then there would be lots of providers going hungry.

But, since you cannot do that (as it is perfectly fine with this crowd for a provider to do an uninspired session and get paid fully for it), then there are things you can do that will definitely not be popular, but would be right. On the excellent sessions, continue to see those providers in the future, on the so-so and disappointing sessions, do not see them again. In any event, let the other guys know YOUR opinion of your experience with providers you see and/or interact with.

If you are the provider cancels the session before you meet for whatever reason, legit or not, or even after you meet the other person for 5-10 minutes and walk out, you do not have to pay a dime. While the old adage of you are paying for a provider's time is the way it is presented, the real reason you are paying a provider is for services rendered. No service, no pay, period. To avoid this, another unpopular thing to do is lay down your likes in an undemanding way for a session you pay for, including fetishes. The reason it is unpopular is it is different from going with the flow and hoping for the best as many providers do not care for guys who have standards and know what they desire. IMO, going through the motions, laying there mentally checked, no motion or emotion out while the hobbyist gets a nut is not a good session.

Remember tho, if you are a legit hobbyist, nothing is 100% but the provider getting 100% of her donation, so you as the hobbyist are always going to be susceptible to getting the short straw on services. That is a fact. Originally Posted by Wile E Coyote

I've always paid 100% of the donation, whether the session is sucky, excellent, or anything in between.

I've always paid 100% of the donation, whether the session is sucky, excellent, or anything in between. Originally Posted by AdventurousMouse

There are a few here who are Respectful of our Time and for this I thank you.

For my own personal tastes / kinks I tend to hire someone for either a hh or hr date, get a feel for them & then after or during our time together ask if they would be willing to do A,b, or c... Sometimes this is greeted with open curiosity, flat out NO or they may know a gal that is on board.

I never discuss it over the phone nor via text. I'm fairly vanilla but still.

If you have reviews of encounters you have here then maybe direct the providers to that. Yet still ill still do a normal session first to see if I'm comfortable with the gal first.