Please don't push the ladies' boundaries.

Everything these ladies do has an element of risk to it. They're all forced to decide whether the risk is worth the reward. Whatever the ladies decide their boundaries will be should be respected. Crossing those boundaries (not just asking about them, that's just being a dick) is called rape. Originally Posted by Crock

^^^^^This! I'll add that continuously asking is coercive.

Some men on here are intent on pushing boundaries. Many providers who aren't BBF* friendly, still get requests for that service. And the problem is exacerbated when some dudes aren't okay with "inquiring" just once, but insist on pressuring and coercing a provider to "change her mind."

I don't offer BBF* though I am Greek friendly. Many providers find Greek to be repugnant or for various other reasons have no interest in engaging in that activity. Yet I hear countless stories about hobbyists, asking the same provider over and over to indulge in Greek even after hearing NO more than enough times. (Pro tip: the first "no" is enough!)

The reality is, some dudes on here are either a) too lazy to do proper research or b) invested in the "thrills" of being sexually coercive. Originally Posted by Lena Duvall

True this.

I just posted a review on a stunningly beautiful woman and one of her strongest selling points was the fact that I didn't feel like I was doing to be rolling around with a bunch of other people in the sack. When I wrote her review I placed "CBJ" in the form field, specifically stated it that way in the ROS text, answered the question in the thread that followed three more times, watched multiple posters comment on it, and answered it again when my IN box blew up, in several cases because of people who PM'd me about it the first time or spoke about it in the thread, sometimes both, indicating they already knew the answer...and I'm not even the provider! On top of that the lady's online adds also spell out her boundary. I know damn well the poor girl probably got slammed with a dozen more inquiries with the same question put to her by hobbyists who already asked me if she's BBJ and were told she's not.

WTF?

I don't get why I seem to be in the minority of guys in here on this but one of my non-negotiables for this "hobby" is that I'm NOT going to see a woman who DOESN't require protection because no matter how much extra pleasure you get from that it's just not worth the risk. I'd rather be the dude who doesn't need to get a prescription filled every two weeks or explain to my next real world girlfriend why her coochie is itching all the sudden.

Second, if I'm going to pay well for something I can get for free in the regular dating scene, I'm damn well going to be sure I'm with somebody that has the kind of other intangibles that make that a worthwhile experience worth repeating, meaning I'm looking for an ongoing interaction that's well above normal expectations. How can I possibly achieve that if I make the lady resent me for disrespecting her wishes? Nobody likes to be pushed beyond their limits even when the stakes aren't as high as they are here.

Dudes need to ask themsbes; how has this kind of intimidation strategy worked in my non-hobby relationships with women? That's how it works here too. Even if you get someone to do something they don't want to do, that's bound to impact how they respond in other ways. That's also a lousy trade off because in my experience a woman who feels respected is a lot more responsive.

True this.

I just posted a review on a stunningly beautiful woman and one of her strongest selling points was the fact that I didn't feel like I was doing to be rolling around with a bunch of other people in the sack. When I wrote her review I placed "CBJ" in the form field, specifically stated it that way in the ROS text, answered the question in the thread that followed three more times, watched multiple posters comment on it, and answered it again when my IN box blew up, in several cases because of people who PM'd me about it the first time or spoke about it in the thread, sometimes both, indicating they already knew the answer...and I'm not even the provider! On top of that the lady's online adds also spell out her boundary. I know damn well the poor girl probably got slammed with a dozen more inquiries with the same question put to her by hobbyists who already asked me if she's BBJ and were told she's not.

WTF?

I don't get why I seem to be in the minority of guys in here on this but one of my non-negotiables for this "hobby" is that I'm NOT going to see a woman who DOESN't require protection because no matter how much extra pleasure you get from that it's just not worth the risk. I'd rather be the dude who doesn't need to get a prescription filled every two weeks or explain to my next real world girlfriend why her coochie is itching all the sudden.

Second, if I'm going to pay well for something I can get for free in the regular dating scene, I'm damn well going to be sure I'm with somebody that has the kind of other intangibles that make that a worthwhile experience worth repeating, meaning I'm looking for an ongoing interaction that's well above normal expectations. How can I possibly achieve that if I make the lady resent me for disrespecting her wishes? Nobody likes to be pushed beyond their limits even when the stakes aren't as high as they are here.

Dudes need to ask themsbes; how has this kind of intimidation strategy worked in my non-hobby relationships with women? That's how it works here too. Even if you get someone to do something they don't want to do, that's bound to impact how they respond in other ways. That's also a lousy trade off because in my experience a woman who feels respected is a lot more responsive. Originally Posted by SisterTwister

For the record, I did initially inquire about the cbj thing and decided to just move on after confirming that it's non-negotiable and a non-ymmv thing.

I know you're probably not referring directly to me, but someone may misconstrue me as the boundary pusher based on the fact that I made the initial inquiry. I never pushed the issue, used any intimidation tactics, or sent any follow up PM's afterwards, just going on record.

As far as the bbbj thing goes, the risk is usually very minimal and most hobbyist and provider's alike view it as an acceptable level of risk.

For the record, I did initially inquire about the cbj thing and decided to just move on after confirming that it's non-negotiable and a non-ymmv thing.

I know you're probably not referring directly to me, but someone may misconstrue me as the boundary pusher based on the fact that I made the initial inquiry. I never pushed the issue, used any intimidation tactics, or sent any follow up PM's afterwards, just going on record.

As far as the bbbj thing goes, the risk is usually very minimal and most hobbyist and provider's alike view it as an acceptable level of risk. Originally Posted by DarkeyKong

I don't recall who PM'd what, just that I had about half a dozen messages on it. I work in the medical field, and the risk is not as minimal as you think. It's a higher risk for women however, and while I certainly won't pretend to know how most providers view it, I've known many women both in and out of the business who aren't comfortable with it. Some do it because they feel they can't compete economically if they don't, and I suspect that number is pretty high.

One of the things I enjoy most about sex is pleasing a woman, and to me that begins in the mind, not just in her panties. I hope to leave any encounter with one of these amazing creatures with her having felt valued and appreciated on more than one level. I want her to actually look forward to seeing me, and to me, approving and affirming her choice without questioning it can only contribute to that.

I love black women passionately and exclusively for reasons far beyond sex, and often times these ladies are the least respected and most disparaged in all areas of their life, so whether I'm out in public with her in a restaurant or between her sheets I want her to feel like a queen, and if she does it turns me on more than not using a condom. That might sound crazy but it works for me.

Can't we just all fuck and get along? Guys are gonna ask for shit more than once sometimes. That's just how it is. If they try to fuck you raw or put it in your ass without permission, they're an asshole. If they try to sweet-talk you, they're just being a dude. Don't act fuckin brand new.

You got sweet talked the first time you gave a blowjob. You got sweet talked the first time you gave up the pussy. Dudes do that shit. Asking never hurt anyone. If they get ruff, that's a whole-nuther thing.

I love the ladies, but I'm not above trying to get a bbbj on the sly. You can keep the bbfs, but if I can get some BBBJNQNS, I will promise to name my next daughter after you...after they figure out how to undo this vasectomy.