Fuck You, You're Fired

TestSpin's Avatar
... and my fiance kills people for a living. Originally Posted by MaryBeth
In the interest of avoiding possible PR problems ... our marketing department would like to point out that this means that we should thank him for his service to our country and does NOT mean that we should worry about whether we might become a deliverable in a contract
Danielle Reid's Avatar
In the interest of avoiding possible PR problems ... our marketing department would like to point out that this means that we should thank him for his service to our country and does NOT mean that we should worry about whether we might become a deliverable in a contract Originally Posted by TestSpin
He's a Combat Engineer with the US Army Reserves and is currently serving in Afghanistan. So yes, no need to worry. Well unless you put me in danger, then worry. Worry a lot
TestSpin's Avatar
lmao! That's as it should be!!!
Excellent Post! Keep it real and be safe!!!
BabyDallass's Avatar
Very REAL and well said!!
Alyssa_Dream's Avatar
So the last couple of weeks I have dealt with a lot of bullshit. Not only have I been dealing with bullshit, but so have some other ladies I know. So in light of these past situations I have decided to post about it.



1. What GFE really is.



The girlfriend experience is to give you exactly what you may or may not be missing in the bedroom. I say may not be missing because as we all know some of your are not single, you just like fucking hot hookers. ( I can't blame you I like it too.) Anyway, GFE is designed to give you everything you want and more, this kissing and hugging and licking and fucking like there is no tomorrow.



The "girlfriend experience" generally involves more personal interaction than a traditional hooker or escort offers; it varies widely from person to person, however. There is a focus on not just having sex, but also having more of a comprehensive experience. Often sessions last longer and are "no rush," which means the provider spends the full advertised time rather than rushing out after the sex is over. Common activities usually offered by GFE escorts include kissing and/or French kissing, cuddling and foreplay..



A provider advertising the provision of a "girlfriend experience" is implying that she provides (LFK) (DFK), "full service" (intercourse in many different positions) usually with protection unless she's a fucking idiot with a death wish, and fellatio and cunnilingus, both with or without protection. Providers choice really. This is to make you feel like the only man in the world during your time together and leave you completely and utterly satisfied after the session.



( this is where it gets good and is going to start pissing people off)



NO WHERE in that job description does it say I have to FUCKING BABY YOU!!!!! I am NOT your GIRLFRIEND or your MOTHER!!!! Don't text my fucking phone at all hours of the day and night then have the nerve and audacity to get upset when I don't respond. Are you Kidding me?? Let's be real here.



Hmm, Did you ever happen to think that maybe the Hooker is sucking someone else's cock at the moment? Or maybe, just maybe, I am spending quality time with my children? Perhaps I was having lunch with my mother and grandma, or helping clean her house. (She's in her 80's you know) Maybe I was helping my sister move her things back home because the asshole she was with started abusing her. (true story)



I have a life outside of this hobby. I'm a Mother, a Sister, a Daughter and a Granddaughter. I love my career, but I do not confuse the fantasy I work in with the life I live. I have a family to take care of. I'm not looking for prince charming to come out of no where and save me from this hobby. This is My Choice. I'm not Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman!! I don't need to be saved. There is a fine line here that is being crossed.



My point is I'm a hooker. The woman you pay to suck you off. To give you a good time. Please do not confuse a business relationship with a personal relationship. And please don't take this out of proper context. I enjoy the time I spend with my clients. Without YOU GUYS, I wouldn't have a career at all. Do I believe that we can be friends. Yes, however it is in a business sense only. My job is not to coddle you, it's to make you cum, sometimes repeatedly.



Trust me honey, you don't want me as your girlfriend. I'm way more expensive that way. Plus you will have to put of with me bitching, taking your paycheck, and never giving you any pussy cause I'm so busy working that I don't want to fuck you. I fuck for a living, I don't want to fuck for free. And anyone who knows me knows that you have a lot of nerve asking me to.



So with that being said I have some new rules.



1. Do not text my phone 24 hours a day with meaningless bullshit.

If you do, FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED

(text or call to make an appointment, yes. I would love to see you.)



2.Do not try to save me from this Hobby. I LOVE MY JOB!!

FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED



3. If you want to spend time with me and not pay for it

FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED



4. If you think you can take me to dinner and not pay for my time

FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED



5. If you fall in love with me... guess what

FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED



6. Want me to baby you and act like your mother

FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED

(unless this is a fetish and you want me to dress you up in diapers. but again there is another fine line here, if you shit or piss on yourself during this time once again FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED)




This is really a simple process.



Make the call, set the appointment, follow through and please be on time (both provider and hobbyist) then fuck like there is no tomorrow!!! Come in, get your dick sucked, pay the hooker and move on!!! This is not a hard process yet lately it has been being made more and more difficult. If you want to see me please call and schedule. If your thinking about it, don't call until you are sure that you will be able to follow through.



Now I'm not saying don't call or pm to pre-book. I understand that things will happen with business men and their schedules. You have clients, they get pissed off, you have to handle that. I get it, and I understand. But don't call me and say you want to get together at 8 and then text me at 7:55 with some bullshit story about your dog dying. Let's be real here, your girlfriend came home from work early or decided to call in so you can't make it. I will always and forever respect real over bullshit any given day.



Ladies and Gentlemen of the board, I would love your input here. I mean, am I wrong here? How much bullshit do we have to put up with? Last time I checked this job was to satisfy men and fulfill fantasies in the bedroom. Nothing more and most definitely nothing less.

And if I missed anything, by all means add on



Xo Xo

TK
Originally Posted by Trinity Kane


Best post ever!! If this could be posted in Oklahoma!! Omg!! Makes me crazy with all the text-emails- that lead to nothing and pretty much need a non-stop counselor or maybe want the all the time "GFE"... The ones that get soo mad bc I or some other females can't get to their phone, computer!! I want the sticker Please!!
Alyssa_Dream's Avatar
I think I just came!

Awesome post, TK! Fuck me, I'm fired....because after reading that, I'm in lust (and I haven't even looked at the Showcase or Reviews).

Truly a post to be saved for posterity, and required reading for anybody entering this thing of ours. Thanks Originally Posted by TexasGator




Question?? Anyway we can make this a LAW!!! JC!!! The Escort Laws???:
My thoughts, exactly!!!
I have fired a few people.....💃
I appreciate the candor.

I also looked at it from a different perspective, i.e. a word cloud.

Attached Images File Type: png gfep.png (113.9 KB, 338 views)
Awesome!!!!!!!
"NO WHERE in that job description does it say I have to FUCKING BABY YOU!!!!! I am NOT your GIRLFRIEND or your MOTHER!!!! Don't text my fucking phone at all hours of the day and night then have the nerve and audacity to get upset when I don't respond. Are you Kidding me?? Let's be real here."

Just recently had a guy doing this!! Even threw a fit because he didnt think i wanted to see him because i didnt call HIM to see him.. pfftt... thats not how this provider shit works. I was in hosp not long ago and he went as far as calling me and telling me he was in the lobby, what room was i in!! What the fuck? Def on my "youre banned from my panties" list.
came to the hospital??!! dumbshit
and pathetic
penis bouquet mighta been a nice gesture though.
Alsaadream that covers everything you posted is right on the money i have seen that before but i look at the hobby more as Adult Entertainment then anything else fantasy mixed with business as far as GFE goes not really my cup of tea i like the no rush as long cbj or bbj and cfs i'm fine beyond that i leave the rest up to the provider i'm easy to please and of course women in the hobby have a life outside of it and guess what it's no ones business i only call or text when i'm ready unless the provider wants me to book 24 hours in Advance have not had that happen yet but time will only tell.

Devon Derriere the guy show up to your hospital you where at now that's crazy.
Guest012619's Avatar
So the last couple of weeks I have dealt with a lot of bullshit. Not only have I been dealing with bullshit, but so have some other ladies I know. So in light of these past situations I have decided to post about it.



1. What GFE really is.



The girlfriend experience is to give you exactly what you may or may not be missing in the bedroom. I say may not be missing because as we all know some of your are not single, you just like fucking hot hookers. ( I can't blame you I like it too.) Anyway, GFE is designed to give you everything you want and more, this kissing and hugging and licking and fucking like there is no tomorrow.



The "girlfriend experience" generally involves more personal interaction than a traditional hooker or escort offers; it varies widely from person to person, however. There is a focus on not just having sex, but also having more of a comprehensive experience. Often sessions last longer and are "no rush," which means the provider spends the full advertised time rather than rushing out after the sex is over. Common activities usually offered by GFE escorts include kissing and/or French kissing, cuddling and foreplay..



A provider advertising the provision of a "girlfriend experience" is implying that she provides (LFK) (DFK), "full service" (intercourse in many different positions) usually with protection unless she's a fucking idiot with a death wish, and fellatio and cunnilingus, both with or without protection. Providers choice really. This is to make you feel like the only man in the world during your time together and leave you completely and utterly satisfied after the session.



( this is where it gets good and is going to start pissing people off)



NO WHERE in that job description does it say I have to FUCKING BABY YOU!!!!! I am NOT your GIRLFRIEND or your MOTHER!!!! Don't text my fucking phone at all hours of the day and night then have the nerve and audacity to get upset when I don't respond. Are you Kidding me?? Let's be real here.



Hmm, Did you ever happen to think that maybe the Hooker is sucking someone else's cock at the moment? Or maybe, just maybe, I am spending quality time with my children? Perhaps I was having lunch with my mother and grandma, or helping clean her house. (She's in her 80's you know) Maybe I was helping my sister move her things back home because the asshole she was with started abusing her. (true story)



I have a life outside of this hobby. I'm a Mother, a Sister, a Daughter and a Granddaughter. I love my career, but I do not confuse the fantasy I work in with the life I live. I have a family to take care of. I'm not looking for prince charming to come out of no where and save me from this hobby. This is My Choice. I'm not Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman!! I don't need to be saved. There is a fine line here that is being crossed.



My point is I'm a hooker. The woman you pay to suck you off. To give you a good time. Please do not confuse a business relationship with a personal relationship. And please don't take this out of proper context. I enjoy the time I spend with my clients. Without YOU GUYS, I wouldn't have a career at all. Do I believe that we can be friends. Yes, however it is in a business sense only. My job is not to coddle you, it's to make you cum, sometimes repeatedly.



Trust me honey, you don't want me as your girlfriend. I'm way more expensive that way. Plus you will have to put of with me bitching, taking your paycheck, and never giving you any pussy cause I'm so busy working that I don't want to fuck you. I fuck for a living, I don't want to fuck for free. And anyone who knows me knows that you have a lot of nerve asking me to.



So with that being said I have some new rules.



1. Do not text my phone 24 hours a day with meaningless bullshit.

If you do, FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED

(text or call to make an appointment, yes. I would love to see you.)



2.Do not try to save me from this Hobby. I LOVE MY JOB!!

FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED



3. If you want to spend time with me and not pay for it

FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED



4. If you think you can take me to dinner and not pay for my time

FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED



5. If you fall in love with me... guess what

FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED



6. Want me to baby you and act like your mother

FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED

(unless this is a fetish and you want me to dress you up in diapers. but again there is another fine line here, if you shit or piss on yourself during this time once again FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED)




This is really a simple process.



Make the call, set the appointment, follow through and please be on time (both provider and hobbyist) then fuck like there is no tomorrow!!! Come in, get your dick sucked, pay the hooker and move on!!! This is not a hard process yet lately it has been being made more and more difficult. If you want to see me please call and schedule. If your thinking about it, don't call until you are sure that you will be able to follow through.



Now I'm not saying don't call or pm to pre-book. I understand that things will happen with business men and their schedules. You have clients, they get pissed off, you have to handle that. I get it, and I understand. But don't call me and say you want to get together at 8 and then text me at 7:55 with some bullshit story about your dog dying. Let's be real here, your girlfriend came home from work early or decided to call in so you can't make it. I will always and forever respect real over bullshit any given day.



Ladies and Gentlemen of the board, I would love your input here. I mean, am I wrong here? How much bullshit do we have to put up with? Last time I checked this job was to satisfy men and fulfill fantasies in the bedroom. Nothing more and most definitely nothing less.

And if I missed anything, by all means add on



Xo Xo

TK
Originally Posted by Trinity Kane

Baby you are so 110% right ! Lol