Let me help you

So all meows are bad....wtf?

Not when they are tossed.

Dear Boardman, do you have any advice on how to get pill down a cats throat? I tried it once it did not work out to good for me. Of course I was the one holding the 18lb tomcat. My ex held the pill popper. I got SHREADED and the cat spit the pill out, 3 times. I'm just glad that cat did not have any front claws. The rear claws practically disembowelled me....thanks

Dear Boardman, do you have any advice on how to get pill down a cats throat? I tried it once it did not work out to good for me. Of course I was the one holding the 18lb tomcat. My ex held the pill popper. I got SHREADED and the cat spit the pill out, 3 times. I'm just glad that cat did not have any front claws. The rear claws practically disembowelled me....thanks Originally Posted by IIFFOFRDB

Why, of course I do. You must have missed it. We are working on a search feature for the data base as I type this but in the mean time here is the answer to your question.


http://www.eccie.net/showpost.php?p=...6&postcount=96

Dear Boardman, do you have any advice on how to get pill down a cats throat? I tried it once it did not work out to good for me. Of course I was the one holding the 18lb tomcat. My ex held the pill popper. I got SHREADED and the cat spit the pill out, 3 times. I'm just glad that cat did not have any front claws. The rear claws practically disembowelled me....thanks Originally Posted by IIFFOFRDB

Put the cat in the washer and put it on the spin cycle. After spinning for a couple of minutes the cat will be disoriented enough to be pilled.



Look how innocent the pussy is.

One of our listeners took exception to the previous installment of "How to give a cat a bath" and submitted their own version. OK, thancks, whatever...

Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they “lick” themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach). Cats, like their nemesis, the dog …. do get dirty and have a variety of odors… from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog’s breath. (Remember… your dog will try to eat anything.)
Now we all know that cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is out of the question. So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits. Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you …. you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.
1. First …. dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and welders gloves.

2. A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.

3. Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area before hand. No … blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.

4. Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. Position everything strategically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.

5. Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were simply carrying him/her to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire… the cat barely notices you anyway.

6. Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom …. speed is essential. In one single liquid motion .shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock, locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of him is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he’s madder than a wet hornet.

7. As best, you can, wearing welder’s gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling. If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles with his body now fully exposed.

8. During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub vigorously. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slide down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.

9. Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times. The cat will realize the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.

10. Next, the cat must be dried. No…this is NOT the easiest part. By this stage, you are worn out and the cat has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of your cat . reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.

11. If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precariously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.

12. Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in towel before opening tub enclosure. Open bathroom door …. put towel wrapped cat on floor and step back quickly. Into tub, if possible, and do not open enclosure until all you can see is the shredded towel.

13. In about 2 hours …. it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog while plotting revenge.

I have to admit that "Kitty Bubbles" is kinda funny.

Oh, it sounds like a great idea. Every cat owner wants to get their cat something sturdy to rake their claws over. Something instead of the couch or your favorite armchair. Well, that's where Emery Cat comes in.


Designed to keep your cat coming back for more and more. Kitty can't get enough of the Emery Cat. Why? Because they put catnip inside it. Kitty not only keeps coming back.

Kitty can't stop! Kitty starts off innocently enough. Then, what was once a fun, healthy grooming habit becomes a dark world of depraved kitty behavior.


Don't let this happen to your kitty. Stop Emery Cat Addiction today!

Just so your aware of the dangers of Catnip here's a PSA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkbipbKWJOM





A good pussy is a terrible thing to waste










Do not purchase!







..

Got a big one? Tampa looking for well-endowed toms


Well, not exactly your stuff. Your cat's, actually.
The cat with the biggest tool, so to speak, is going to win big. But we're not talking about winning with the ladies.





Here's the deal:
The Animal Coalition of Tampa will give a bunch of stuff to the owner of the most well-endowed tom, reports the St. Petersburg Times.
But in return the cat has to get neutered during a two-day surgery spree, Saturday and Sunday, at which veterinarians and vet technicians will neuter up to 500 male cats for $5 each. One brave cat gets a 12-month supply of food, a scratching post and catnip, plus wine and chocolates for his owner.





A cat has to lose big to win Tampa's Neuter-a-Thon prize

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When you get a dog you feel like a master...

When you feel like a master you want to dominate people.

When you want to dominate people you read strange publications.

When you read strange publications you get kinky ideas.

When you get kinky ideas you look for kinky women.

When you look for kinky women you read Backpage.

When you read Backpage you advertise on Backpage.

When you advertise on Backpage you get emails from bat shit crazy bitches.

When you get emails from bat shit crazy bitches you get excited.

When you get excited you call bat shit crazy bitches.

When you call bat shit crazy bitches you see bat shit crazy bitches.

When you see bat shit crazy bitches they take all your money.


...Don't lose all your money...Get a cat!

This is for you Boardman

This is for you Boardman Originally Posted by carkido45

I know, right?