Coming Out of the Closet--No Not THAT Closet!

is there a vomiting smiley?

[QUOTE=mar6;1048415]"I agree with Tin man, Floridian. Unfortunately, none of the girls here really enjoy our company. The really good ones are just better at pretending that they do. Don't mean to sound negative, but thems just the facts."

I SO beg to differ with you mar6...I realize that a lot of you guys are tainted (for lack of a better word) but if I DIDN'T enjoy my male company, I would go back to nursing full time!

To the OP, darlin'...you gotta figure out what works for you and do that but I think that it is nice to "escape" from real life for a while sometimes. It certainly helps MY perspective!

Good luck to you! --v

Floridian, what you want *can* be found... as long as you keep your boundaries (and hers). I have been lurking around in this hobby since 2006... I wanted to find that rapport with a provider. It took several years but I did find an ATF that gives me that connection that I am looking for... the time that we spend together is awesome... but I am mindful of the boundaries that we have set with one another.

I hope that makes sense.

is there a vomiting smiley? Originally Posted by monkmonk

I disagree that it's always an illusion. It's frequently real within limits, what Elizabeth Bernstein referred to as "bounded authenticity." The ladies wouldn't be there without the $$$, but that just means that "it's about the money" -- not that "it's only about the money." Some of the ladies do sincerely like, and enjoy spending time with, their clients, within the boundaries of that one hour (or longer) appointment even though they do not want anything more. You just have to learn and accept that the connection is limited to that context, and not mistake it for more than it really is or try to violate her boundaries.

My perception and belief, anyway. Originally Posted by Chevalier

Thank you, kind sir. You've stated it much more clearly than I could manage and in my opinion, your perceptions are "spot on".

Bombardment of emails, mass texts or numerous phone calls from one client is INAPPROPRIATE, unless the lady has given you carte blanche to blow up her communication devices. An occasional "Thinking of you" message is fine between visits, but you may have been ignored because you continued to contact her with no intent to schedule her time. If she is like most of the ladies here, she has other friends who need her attention AND a personal life outside of this business.

]I've been here on Eccie for a few months now and seen some terrific ladies. I've even strayed off a bit and found a gem or two in the Badlands of Backpages. But I have been kidding myself.

... That's not me and I want to fix that. ...

Here's the deal--for an hour I want to fall in love. With a pretty lady. A very pretty lady. A sweet lady. I want to suspend disbelief so completely that I can buy the idea that the beautiful woman with me would not rather be anyplace else or with anyone else. That she ENJOYS MY COMPANY.

...

I have been going through a very difficult time now--employment-wise, health-wise, financial-wise, marriage-wise--you name it. Bottoming out.

I want to have an uplifting experience.
I know----wimp. Originally Posted by floridian671

well floridian, you've seen the spectrum from "no way, jose!" to "yes, it's possible."

but i think it's important that you confirm and let the women know that you're only looking for ONE HOUR at a time, maybe just once.

there are women who can helped you suspend disbelief so convincingly that at the end of your time together you might shake your head and say "what in the universe just happened??"

just remember, there is a BIG WHITE LINE between you and any provider. and you better accept it's there or suffer the consequences. now you might find a woman who agrees w/ you to erase the line for a little bit of time, but it will still be there. dont ever forget that.

+1000 to M.A.X.'s comments - re-read them if you havent read them closely. there are a million stories in our sub-culture and yours is just one that does not match any other. remember that we are all individuals and dont all fit in the same pattern.

as long as you understand all this and go in with eyes wide open, it can be an uplifting experience. or not.

best to you in your search for whatever it is that you seek.
and take responsibility for finding it when you do.

I think you should look inward for your happiness. If you don't love yourself first, your situations will always get you down. Find answers for your marriage, health and financial worries. How you can improve these situations. If there are no answers, and you need a friend, I would recommend therapy. Even sex therapy. I recommend doing research on a provider that is willing to offer you her friendship outside of meeting for dates, genuinely cares about how you feel, and is willing to see you when you can. It sounds like that is what you thought you had, and I hope she writes you back soon.

But make sure that you're not being one-sided with your needs, and not thinking about making it worth it for her to converse with you during your financially trying times. It may be time to get clever and find different ways to reciprocate her friendship.

All the best to you!