Ad stalkers.
The guy who starts texting the moment he sees you post or place any ad. And, he isn't even in town.
Really??
Damn...I don't think I want to read this thread anymore. :-/ Originally Posted by PoppyToyotai'm w/ you. one reason i started the "things that give me delites" thread.
Accidentally feeling something solid under a pillow and finding out it's a loaded gun. That will kill any blue steeler!!! Originally Posted by trynagetlaidIt would only piss me off if it were a .22, .25, .32, or .380. If it was a REAL gun it would give new meaning to the term "pillow talk". I'd probably get mine so we could compare and contrast our taste in pistols/revolvers.
Attractive looking= when I spackle first
People tell me I'm cute= My Dad used to.
Blonde and blue-eyed= Thanks to Clairol and Acu-Vue
Outdoorsy= I smoke and have a subscription at TANFASTIC
Shapely= Rubenesque
Rubenesque= Obese
Love kids= I have three. And four cats who peep and poop on the carpet.
Family-oriented= Wait 'til you meet my ex. You might've seen him on C.O.P.S.?
Not concerned about money= Concerned about money
Passionate= Boy, am I a tease
Great sense of humor= I'll laugh at your jokes if you'll tell me I'm pretty
Sensual= I like to burn scented candles and have a fading Thomas Kincade print on my wall
Love to please= Just let me take out the teeth.
Easygoing= My house is a sty.
Love to exercise= I sit cross-legged with a Virginia Slim in front of Brad Paisley on CMT each morning
Looking for a friend as well as a lover= Help me pay my bills and I'll give you one or two rolls in the hay
Love to travel and meet new people= I visit my sister in Slidell, Louisiana sometimes
Unmaterialistic=I live in a trailer
Love to take risks= with my money at the Indian reservation
Waiting for my Knight-In-Shining-Armor: Something in trousers and a black Dodge RAM will do.
Want a man who'll step up to the plate=I'm not using contraception
Imaginative= I believe everything Oprah and Dr. Phil tell me.
Want an old-fashioned man=Want a "daddy" figure who'll solve all my financial & social woes
Want an exciting lover= I'll help you over your Court Probation period
I'm curious= about where you can get more of those Vicodins
I love to read=PEOPLE and HARLEQUINS
I love to cook= S'mores for the kids and a LEAN CUISINE for myself
Love to have fun=I drink lots of alcohol. And to get you hooked on me, I may have to bring out the crystal meth.
Love to dance= My ex left all his FOGHAT and ALLMAN BROTHERS cassettes here, somewhere.
I'm not a bar person= As far as you know, because if I took you to the bar where I've hung out for the last ten years, you'd meet every man I've ever slept with.
I'm a good Christian woman= Alright, so I never go, but my mom belongs to one of those fascist mega-churches so do you think we could put in just one appearance there so mom will be pacified and not think I'm living in sin?
I love Nature= My Marlboro-scented bathroom is done in a Santa Fe wallpaper with brass horse-shaped towel rods.
I love long, quiet walks on the beach= Haven't been in ages, but in 1999 my teenage son brought me back a snow-globe with little pink plastic seahorses swirling in sand when he spent spring break in South Padre Island with his buddies, and it collects dust on the TV set now.
I'm intelligent= Let's play TRIVIAL PURSUIT HOLLYWOOD EDITION, because I've already read all the answers off the dog-eared question cards, but I'll let you win, anyway.
I'm popular= at Harley rallies when few women show up.
Foreign cultures fascinate me= a little Vietnamese girl named Kim buffs my press-ons.
Let's have coffee and chat first= Buddy, you ain't touchin' nothin' till I see your wristwatch, your car, your fingernails, your shoes, your 401k and dental plan.