Does it alter your perception of a provider...

As I remember another provider saying, and with my own experience, ALL of my fetish and dominating affairs are never reviewed - it's not that I ask them to, I suppose they just don't feel comfortable sharing taboo fetishes, although a large majority of my experiences and affairs include some prostate play minamally. Originally Posted by Eva Damita

______________________________ _____________________

I agree with many points that Sir Lancehernot made, I think many gentleman would like to schedule their appointments with a provider who is a true specialist in what he is wanting in a session. But is anything actually considered taboo between consenting aduIts ; with the exceptions of course of pedophilia or bestiality? I am pretty much ONLY GFE, although at times I am an accommodator who wants to please my clients with the activities they ask for, but so far it's been nothing that I think wouldn't be considered really freaky, just a part of healthy GFE. I enjoy a little foot fetish in a session, and I like to do prostate massage, but I feel like that is part of my GFE menu, not a fetish. I like some of the "toys for boys" too, like inserting small dildo type things in their butt,(not a strap one, but who knows, maybe one day), and TUMA for both of us, but again, I think that's GFE

. Maybe I'm wrong on that, but when I am a man's Girlfriend for an hour or more, I think it's natural to please your Boyfriend. I enjoy some ass slapping and hair pulling in doggie too, but that's not BDSM, it's just a wilder, more passionate GFE, unless of course it gets too rough and hurts a lot and leaves bruises. I do like it rough sometimes, with a man who knows what he is doing and can be in control enough to gauge my response. I even consider an occasional session of being tied up or handcuffed, but only with a man that I've seen enough to know, and can trust him not to hurt me, to be part of normal GFE play. To me, GFE does not always equal vanilla. It can, it that's what he wants, I love that too. And I guess that most, or all, of what I'm describing is me as the submissive, just not going to far. I can be the one in control when it comes to the kissing and changing positions and telling him what to do to me, but not a dominatrix, I don't think. Maybe someday I could get trained in that if a man I was close to really wanted it from me, but I would rather suggest a threesome, with the other girl being the dominating one.

But nothing I'm uncomfortable with of course, like pain, receiving or giving. I would not be a good dominatrix, and there are so many great ladies on the board who are, so why would you go to a GFE, and try to get her to do that? Or why go to a provider who is known for her fantastic dominatrix skills, and expect a full on, really good, natural GFE session?

But I think Tiffani is right too, in that sexuality is fluid, and many providers are experienced in many skills, and can go back and forth and make each session seem very natural and comfortable for the client. I just don't think there's very many like that, but I'm not sure of course. It seems that if you're true to yourself, you're either submissive or dominate. A GFE, or a get down to business girl, no kissing or IOP, but maybe some really good CFS.
But I am certainly not the most experienced girl on the board, and after I get several years under my belt, maybe I could feel comfortable with multiple types of play. But for now I just want to concentrate on being the best GFE I can be.

Sooo you're saying there's no middle ground?

Maybe it's because I'm a Gemini, but I feel safe in saying that MOST people, women notwithstanding, are ever one way or another. We're multifaceted, are turned on by a range of things, and different men bring out different things in us.

Your statement says a lot about you as a person. But as sure as there are people like you in the world, there are men who are.... not like you.

Remember: variety is the spice of life, Sir Lancehernot. And that wasn't meant just for the boys.
Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

I generally enjoy your responses to threads. In this particular case, you are way off base for chastising someone for giving an honest answer to a question posed by another provider.

Edit to add after seeing your additional responses, I believe I share his opinion that you weren't just saying that is a traditional way of thinking. You appear to typically choose your words carefully. I have no reason to think you did not choose your words carefully in the original reply.

______________________________ _____________________

I agree with many points that Sir Lancehernot made, I think many gentleman would like to schedule their appointments with a provider who is a true specialist in what he is wanting in a session. But is anything actually considered taboo between consenting aduIts ; with the exceptions of course of pedophilia or bestiality? I am pretty much ONLY GFE, although at times I am an accommodator who wants to please my clients with the activities they ask for, but so far it's been nothing that I think wouldn't be considered really freaky, just a part of healthy GFE. I enjoy a little foot fetish in a session, and I like to do prostate massage, but I feel like that is part of my GFE menu, not a fetish. I like some of the "toys for boys" too, like inserting small dildo type things in their butt,(not a strap one, but who knows, maybe one day), and TUMA for both of us, but again, I think that's GFE

. Maybe I'm wrong on that, but when I am a man's Girlfriend for an hour or more, I think it's natural to please your Boyfriend. I enjoy some ass slapping and hair pulling in doggie too, but that's not BDSM, it's just a wilder, more passionate GFE, unless of course it gets too rough and hurts a lot and leaves bruises. I do like it rough sometimes, with a man who knows what he is doing and can be in control enough to gauge my response. I even consider an occasional session of being tied up or handcuffed, but only with a man that I've seen enough to know, and can trust him not to hurt me, to be part of normal GFE play. To me, GFE does not always equal vanilla. It can, it that's what he wants, I love that too. And I guess that most, or all, of what I'm describing is me as the submissive, just not going to far. I can be the one in control when it comes to the kissing and changing positions and telling him what to do to me, but not a dominatrix, I don't think. Maybe someday I could get trained in that if a man I was close to really wanted it from me, but I would rather suggest a threesome, with the other girl being the dominating one.

But nothing I'm uncomfortable with of course, like pain, receiving or giving. I would not be a good dominatrix, and there are so many great ladies on the board who are, so why would you go to a GFE, and try to get her to do that? Or why go to a provider who is known for her fantastic dominatrix skills, and expect a full on, really good, natural GFE session?

But I think Tiffani is right too, in that sexuality is fluid, and many providers are experienced in many skills, and can go back and forth and make each session seem very natural and comfortable for the client. I just don't think there's very many like that, but I'm not sure of course. It seems that if you're true to yourself, you're either submissive or dominate. A GFE, or a get down to business girl, no kissing or IOP, but maybe some really good CFS.
But I am certainly not the most experienced girl on the board, and after I get several years under my belt, maybe I could feel comfortable with multiple types of play. But for now I just want to concentrate on being the best GFE I can be. Originally Posted by GingerKatt

OMG, I love you so much right now!

I wasn't trying to dog Lance out for his choices. I'm not that mean, and it's not a topic that has any wrong answers to begin with. I wasn't trying to change who he sees. Just help him see that sexuality is fluid (brilliant!), and that we don't have to be one way to enjoy other things. He could've just said 'no, I wouldn't see a provider that has more than one function', but his explanation on how he felt was in depth enough for me to see that he loves a soft, and truly GFE woman. And that thinking about her doing anything else really out there would ruin his perception of her and in turn, affects how he perceives the session. That is a clear indication of traditionalism to me. There are men who are just the opposite, and seek out women to indulge the things they can't get in the real world by asking. Or they'd be thought weird for having an interest in.

Your description is very much like mine when it comes to GFE. I consider myself a non-Vanilla "dirty" GFE as well. Honey, if my GFE was ice cream, there'd be Oreos, M&M's, Reeses, Strawberries, nuts AND sprinkles in that bowl! A delicious mess for some, and an overindulgence of a sweet tooth for others, but so so good... LOL That's not to say that I don't have my clients with whom long passionate kisses, and melting in each others arms doesn't send me straight to heaven. That would be the lie.

But along with that, I have several years of BDSM training and experience under my belt. I'm so comfortable with both aspects that I've mastered integrating the two where possible. I most definitely consider that being true to who I am.

But being a Dominatrix isn't all about 'man-hating' and ass-whipping. Quite the opposite actually. You have to consider the psyche of a Dominant woman, the perceptions of a man's role in a woman's life and in the world, and you'll understand how it's not hard for a Dominant woman to yield to a man. And enjoy it.

Love love love your candor GingerKatt!

Well then, Miss Tiffani, we have a mutual girl crush going on! I always love your intelligent well thought out posts and I think that you make spot on, accurate observations. I think a provider like yourself should be proud of her extensive and varied skill set. Sometimes a client doesn't really know he has other interests than "traditional" until he's in a comfortable pillow talk situation with a lady who can explain certain things to him.

But of course you understand that some clients don't want to think of their "soft, feminine, truly GFE woman" dressed up in black leather with a whip in one hand and a ball gag to stuff in his mouth in the other." But of course too, many men will want that one day, and the next will want the sweet, Southern GFE, with long passionate kisses and soft, romantic touching and cuddling. And it might be nice if he can get both experiences in the same package as his ATF. But there's nothing wrong with wanting to keep it separate, he may have his fave GFE, and his fave dominatrix. And another favorite for a 15 min B&G. There's certainly enough of us beautiful, fantastic ladies that he has options in his choice of a provider each and every time he decides to make an appointment. He can choose the lady who specializes in one genre, GFE, like I am choosing to do at this time, ( I like your analogy of ice cream with all kinds of different mix ins!), because GFE is anything but boring and can be as wild, as the two,(or three!), participants choose to make it. He may only be interested in this type of encounter, and that's fine and perfectly normal.
Or, he may decide to see the leather and rubber type with all the toys and ball gags, or some other type of speciality. Some guys exclusively see a fetish provider and some see all kinds.

I don't think you were trying to insult anyone for his beliefs and choices, that's just not like you, from reading your other posts over a couple of years. And I admire Sir Lance for answering the OP's question very succinctly and honestly. His response made a lot of sense to me.

Baskin Robbins ice cream company made a name for itself by promoting "31 flavors"; and there's actually many more, they rotate them in an out. And yet they have customers who come in and always order vanilla, or chocolate, or strawberry. Even when there's a menu of new, exotic and tasty flavors that they would probably like. The employees don't push one choice over another one to the customer. ( B & R was my very first job when I was 15!).

And just one more analogy before I call it quits; some providers of services are just as good at one service as they are another. But I wasn't! That's why I 'm just concentrating on one right now. When I was a practicing RN, I was super sub-specialized. At Duke University, I was the Cardiac Nurse Educator for the Critical Care in the Bone Marrow Transplant Unit ICU. That was a pretty specialized position. The patients and their families had confidence in me. But I didn't want to lose my skills in other areas, so on my days off I would quite often work in the Neurological ICU. And no matter how many continuing ed courses I took in neuro, or how many text books I read, I was never ever as good as the full time Neuro ICU nurses. They always gave me the most stable patient, that didn't require as much care, to minimize the chances that I would make an error. The fact that I just didn't have the passion for the NICU, as well as only being there 4 or 5 days a week, meant that I wasn't as sharp at recognizing changes in a patient's neuro status. And the patients and their families weren't always comfortable when they learned that I wasn't a full time neuro nurse, and that my main speciality was an entirely different genre. I was an educated, competent nurse, but I was BETTER at the specialty that I had passion for, and really liked.

Just like some providers are much better at their specialty, but are also available for other fetishes. There are some, like Tiffani, and the lovely lady who started this thread, the OP, who no doubt do all their different specialities with the same high level of service. I think women like that would have been the nurse supervisors of ALL the ICU's! And I'm sure there are many other lovely providers who are amazing at more than one specialty.

I can see both sides of this. What I would caution a provider is this:

After he opens up to you to explore new things and bcd boundaries are broken, don't be surprised if the rapport you used to have dissolves and he finds a new girl(s) to fulfill his GFE and/or BDSM desires. Sure you may have given him the motivation to explore, but he will eventually find two (or more) different ladies for each type of experience.

If you are willing to be the gateway and accept him moving on, then by all means, help him branch out. But if you expect him to stay with you after he discovers he likes being dominated by his once more submissive GFE ATF then you are fooling yourself (in most cases anyway).

Men are very compartmental. Perhaps he will experiment in the bedroom with his wife (if he is lucky) and keep THAT relationship intact (and fluid). But sexual exploration makes a man vulnerable to a woman so to avoid that vulnerability with a provider he would eventually need to compartmentalize his sexual experiences in order to maintain the structure of his RW life.

I'm not saying i believe its true for everyone; there are always exceptions.


(Btw, ftr Tiffani, I didn't read anything hostile into your first post - not sure what happened there.)

Generalizations are generally wrong. In the end everyone needs to follow their own "gut".

My muse Lindsey Lacey is very accomplished in the area of fetish though she doesn't hype it, yet is also an awesome "vanilla" GFE. Everyone is unique in their expectations and ability to fulfill the expectations of others.

I think, in the context of the OP and SL's response . . . I might feel some discomfort in that situation as well. That's not to say I never overcame that discomfort, or was disappointed when I did. But I did feel somewhat different about a lady whose tastes seemed different from mine.

Why? I'm not sure. My subconscious is as messed up as anyone's and it's a bit scary peering into it. I don't think (but am not sure) I felt it was "wrong" anymore than those who order Cookies & Cream at Baskin Robbins are deviant. I don't think (but am not sure) I felt the lady wouldn't be able to tailor our time together to suit my tastes.

I suspect (but am not sure) it was a concern about compatibility. And perhaps, underlying that, a rather irrational concern that she wouldn't enjoy our time together as much as another lady might. (And I've detected the attitude also in other contexts, such as hearing/reading about how much a lady enjoyed her time with another client.) So, perhaps, a fear of disappointing or a sense of insecurity/inferiority.

As I said, not always pleasant dredging up the muck in one's subconscious.

And all of this is really laughable because I don't really expect the lady to come away thinking that was one of the best trysts she ever had. Even my regulars, my ATFs, the ones who make me feel as though they really enjoy seeing me independent of the $$$ . . . I still don't delude myself. Even if I make her "5 favorite clients" list, which happens rarely, that doesn't mean she enjoys her time with me as much as those she sees in RL. And it certainly doesn't mean she would want me as a boyfriend.

So, on a rational level, I hope/think it will be a pleasant experience for her but am not as concerned that it's an optimal experience for her. It's her way of making a living. She might prefer Rocky Road, but she'll probably enjoy Vanilla if that's what's available.

Alas, I am far from a rational person.

Generalizations are generally wrong. In the end everyone needs to follow their own "gut".

My muse Lindsey Lacey is very accomplished in the area of fetish though she doesn't hype it, yet is also an awesome "vanilla" GFE. Everyone is unique in their expectations and ability to fulfill the expectations of others. Originally Posted by Iaintliein

Most excellent post! When I get to my laptop I will respond to everyone's post.

Straight to the point --- yes it does effect how a guy looks at a provider. I will give an example. There is a young lady here that I have seen several times. We have a nice GFE time and I just plain like her. I knew she provided bdsm sessions,but I tried to ignore that. Then came the reviews complete with pictures. Yes,, I looked. Then I began to worry about her. It just did not fit. I worried about things getting out of hand for her. I haven't seen her since.
Tiffany please don't be critical. I understand it is my head problem. She makes her choices
but I make mine not to see her because of her other side.... Cause I like her too much I guess.
Still think you are pretty. Yes it effects how guys view you.

Quick adder.....Chevalier has a well thought out response as well.

So back to my original question: Does knowing a provider's other sexual interests that may be considered outside of the realm of vanilla have a bearing on how you perceive they will be BCD?

To go a step further, if you are a kinky or sub looking for a true Domme, does the fact that she may also provide vanilla services not make you take her as seriously? Originally Posted by Luxury Daphne

I would say yes to the first question. Activities that I know a provider participates in could influence whether or not I would see them or at least how I would think our time would go.. I love sensual playful non-professional femdom sessions so no problem for me there. There are other activities that if I knew a provider liked then I might avoid them. A GB session would just be one example.
We make choices about who we see everyday so that is really just one factor to consider.

To the second question I can't really answer from experience as I've never been with a true Domme. I've always preferred seeing a "regular" provider who leans toward the dominant side and just likes to play around.

I've found I don't really need to find two different type of providers because I usually get both sensual and femdom from my sessions. This of course is only MY preference. I can see where somebody might want to separate the two.

Knowing well beforehand if a provider advertised thta she specialized in both domm/BDSM and GFE service......I would assume she's more BDSM based.

I have had sessions with ladies who have done both in the past. Their GFE was less believeable and not as organic as other ladies. They wouldn't take direction willinggly as other ladies would. And their attitude in a GFE session is vastly different. Seems they are just tolerating it, because they feel inside they are more suited to being in control. When they are place in a submissive GFE setup, they are out of place and always less believeable to me.

Just my experience thus far. I've never seen a lady or found out I saw a lady who advertised as both and vastly shined in the GFE part to. If its a more PSE based session I see no difference.......but GFE those types of ladies are usually just going throught the motions so to speak and are far less passionate..

A lady can say she advertises and is good at both....but ultimately the reviews and the reviewers are the tell-tale sign. Personally through my experience I don't see this being possible and would tell anyguy if you were trying to experience real good GFE services from a lady who advertises both.....don't. But if you just want to have sex and be more PSE based have at it. GFE isn't everything......

For me it boggles down to believeability. One is always less believeable than the other. And most tips the fence towards being less GFE.

I am a switch, is there any room for us.

People refer to Dominance and submissiveness like they are a person, when it is actually the role played by the person.

Where do the people who crave both roles come into play?

There are guys that are able to "not care" one way or the other. Does the term "have your cake and eat it too" come to mind? You will have a harder time attracting the sweet GFE market if you are known to provide these other services. You just can't have it both ways in so much as some will not call you. You will not know it. They are not going to contact you and say hey,,, I would have been interested but......

You will not know it. They are not going to contact you and say hey,,, I would have been interested but...... Originally Posted by diddleman

Not always. Depends on how fine she is. If I have a PSE intention for a more spirited session I don't particularly care. GFE is different. I guess you have to have the personality to pull both off. Some just aren't believeable.

But yeah it is kinda demotivating to know she might advertise as fetish friendly.......and allow guys to shit on her chest before seeing me.......or whatever other things they are doing over my personal sexual threshold.