Any advice on how to replace ATFs/regulars without wasting a lot of time and money?

I'm a needy client. One of my ATF's in Phoenix once told me the truth of all relationships and specially in this situation. "We will stay in touch and remain friends until one of us isn't getting what we need from the relationship."
Sometimes, I am a sounding board for her. Sometimes, she is my friend. Sometimes, I am just a regular client. Sometimes, I am her favorite client ;-)
It's a reminder that I sometimes need emotional push ups. Recognizing the lack of attachment that is the luxury of these arrangements.
Some of my other regular ladies are closer than others in between sessions. All have different boundaries and if I want their best effort for the time together, I try to respect them.
And then the real shit is, no reservations no relationship.
In other words. Grow the fuck up

Chung, that's a preference based on recent history, not a requirement. I just threw it out there as a hint.

I'm not sure why you think Latinas are short-lived in the hobby. Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

read what I said again SL..



I agree with the idea that you are looking more for a Sugarbaby type of relationship.. with that in mind, I would direct my attention to those sites.. this forum is not conducive to long-term, semi-exclusive relationships. the fact that you had one is an anomaly.

Exactly. I can't pretend when it comes to that. That's when they get the Heisman. I have enough shit to do already. Originally Posted by THN

Well there goes that plan. I expected you to be texting me in need for desperate relief daily by now. Gotta step up the dosage to next time.

edit: In all seriousness, maybe put out an ISO with broad criteria for what you're wanting, then engage in PMs about how you want to see them regularly for a somewhat reduced rate? Start looking for and PMing providers as well that meet your criteria? I don't know if providers would take that as some sort of insult, though... so good luck.

micktoz, you're a great client. I've never thought of you as too needy. That's silly!

OP, I know you're not a big fan of my bluntness and I know I can be a little too straightforward at times. Let's both be okay with that for a second.

The ladies you thought you had a relationship with, well, I would argue that you didn't. To them, anyway. To them you were a client and needier than most so they kept giving you the extra attention you desired until it became too much of a burden.

Think of it from the oposite point of view. Suppose instead of their extra time, it was your extra money, $50 here, $100 there. It ads up over time. And becomes too much of a burden to sustain.

So if you want to be happy then change your expectations because I don't think they were what you thought they were to begin with. I know that's hard to accept but if you want to get the most from your hobby funds then adjust your expectations.

Or get a puppy. Puppies are awesome. They are loyal and sweet and a great project for someone with extra time to spend nurturing something. Don't stop hobbying, but fill that need for loyal and sincere affection elsewhere.

I feel for you. I really do. It's got to very emotionally frustrating. It's time to let it go though. Adjust your needs and spread them out rather than putting them all in one expectation.

THN always has words of wisdom.

Well there goes that plan. I expected you to be texting me in need for desperate relief daily by now. Gotta step up the dosage to next time.

edit: In all seriousness, maybe put out an ISO with broad criteria for what you're wanting, then engage in PMs about how you want to see them regularly for a somewhat reduced rate? Start looking for and PMing providers as well that meet your criteria? I don't know if providers would take that as some sort of insult, though... so good luck. Originally Posted by FunInDFW

Sir, please conduct yourself professionally at work. I won't see you for free. Just saying.

THN always has words of wisdom. Originally Posted by Kinky Boy

I need my own advice column up in this bitch.

Sir, please conduct yourself professionally at work. I won't see you for free. Just saying. Originally Posted by THN

I need my own advice column up in this bitch. Originally Posted by THN

What do those posts have to do with the subject of this thread, how to replace ATFs/regulars without wasting a lot of time and money? Oh, nevermind, you are THN, sorry, carry on.

Back on topic, to find an ATF or any provider for that matter, a good idea is to do a lot of research, and not just on Eccie. When/if a provider interests you, maybe see what she is amenable to by letting her know what you like in a session/your definition of GFE is. I know that is almost taboo for many providers who want you to just go with the flow and let her do her thing, but after all, you are the one paying.

NEVER become attached to a provider, she sees you as no more than a paying for her affection client. Do not bother her with "how goes it?" texts/PMs if you have no plans to see her that day either.

micktoz, you're a great client. I've never thought of you as too needy. That's silly!

OP, I know you're not a big fan of my bluntness and I know I can be a little too straightforward at times. Let's both be okay with that for a second.

The ladies you thought you had a relationship with, well, I would argue that you didn't. To them, anyway. To them you were a client and needier than most so they kept giving you the extra attention you desired until it became too much of a burden.

Think of it from the oposite point of view. Suppose instead of their extra time, it was your extra money, $50 here, $100 there. It ads up over time. And becomes too much of a burden to sustain.

So if you want to be happy then change your expectations because I don't think they were what you thought they were to begin with. I know that's hard to accept but if you want to get the most from your hobby funds then adjust your expectations.

Or get a puppy. Puppies are awesome. They are loyal and sweet and a great project for someone with extra time to spend nurturing something. Don't stop hobbying, but fill that need for loyal and sincere affection elsewhere.

I feel for you. I really do. It's got to very emotionally frustrating. It's time to let it go though. Adjust your needs and spread them out rather than putting them all in one expectation. Originally Posted by THN

I hate it when someone quotes the entire post but I can't find just one part here. The entire thing is an amazing example. Especially about the 50 here and 100 there. When you are a regular (visit AT LEAST twice a month) the texts in between are fine and even welcome. If she's doing nothing but pouring her time into you with no return on the investment, that takes away from the folks that are patronizing her.

It's totally none of my business but will your atf's not see you anymore? I mean going through trying to find your new atf is like dating a string of hobos looking for that diamond. A lot of work and you'll probably get your ass handed to you a couple times.

You could always boom box careless whisper with some roses made out of 100's.

What do those posts have to do with the subject of this thread? Originally Posted by davidfree986

The OP discussed getting extra attention for free. It was a lighthearted joke toward another poster. He also discussed getting advice. Both posts are on topic.

Put out a ISO, you never know who will bite, you might find a provider that doesn't mind you texting in between visits, chances are it won't be a petite latina, I'm thinking that it will be a older provider but I'm just guessing over here.

I think you ought to find a different hobby. This is NOT the place to try to find a "relationship". Someone will always feel used, taken advantage of, or someone will feel burdened by needs that can't be or aren't being met. This is not the place to cross boundaries. Keep it p4p. Just my 2 cents.

It appears that my clumsy attempt at laying the background for a request has resulted in some misperceptions. I'm not sure that those who have characterized me as "clingy" and who've decided that I shouldn't be in the hobby (none of whom know me) can be persuaded to change their minds, but, at the risk of being one of those who "doth protesteth too much," I would like to pound out a few words in my own defense.

I'm not clingy. I do not request free time, but I will gladly take a woman who says, "Let's do lunch" up on her offer. I do not typically initiate text, email or PM exchanges, unless it is to ask for an appointment, but I will respond if someone initiates a non-business-related conversation, whether it's hi-how-ya-doin or a tax question. I do not ask for favors, but I don't mind providing assistance to someone who requests it. I enjoy giving, but I don't expect gifts (though they'd be gratefully accepted ) In short, while I do not expect any extra consideration from a provider, being on the receiving end of such attention is nice, it definitely plays a factor in whom I decide to see, and I have enjoyed it -- who wouldn't enjoy a pretty woman telling you you're "awesome"?

That may very well never happen again. To correct any misperception, whether it does or not, the original post was trying to solicit advice on how to find a woman whom I would enjoy spending my time with and money on, and who would do a credible job of pretending to like me. Anything beyond that would be nice, but it's not a requirement. I don't know how common exclusivity on a client's part in this hobby is, but surely it can't be unusual for a guy to find everything he needs in one woman and stick with her until .... (At the very least, the request could be viewed in light of the many, many comments from guys in the various forums about relationships, friendships, OTC time, lunches and even freebies give, which instill hope in some of the rest of us.)

Yeah, I know I should find a girlfriend or SB. But that's not going to happen, and the hobby will have to do.

I was actually hoping to hear from some guys who have been similarly situated in the past, but I suppose they have nothing to add. As I suggested, maybe the only alternative is to wander around ECCIE and BP, doing some research, hitting on anyone who looks interesting and in my league, and hoping for a "yes."

It appears that my clumsy attempt at laying the background for a request has resulted in some misperceptions. I'm not sure that those who have characterized me as "clingy" and who've decided that I shouldn't be in the hobby (none of whom know me) can be persuaded to change their minds, but, at the risk of being one of those who "doth protesteth too much," I would like to pound out a few words in my own defense.

I'm not clingy. I do not request free time, but I will gladly take a woman who says, "Let's do lunch" up on her offer. I do not typically initiate text, email or PM exchanges, unless it is to ask for an appointment, but I will respond if someone initiates a non-business-related conversation, whether it's hi-how-ya-doin or a tax question. I do not ask for favors, but I don't mind providing assistance to someone who requests it. I enjoy giving, but I don't expect gifts (though they'd be gratefully accepted ) In short, while I do not expect any extra consideration from a provider, being on the receiving end of such attention is nice, it definitely plays a factor in whom I decide to see, and I have enjoyed it -- who wouldn't enjoy a pretty woman telling you you're "awesome"?

That may very well never happen again. To correct any misperception, whether it does or not, the original post was trying to solicit advice on how to find a woman whom I would enjoy spending my time with and money on, and who would do a credible job of pretending to like me. Anything beyond that would be nice, but it's not a requirement. I don't know how common exclusivity on a client's part in this hobby is, but surely it can't be unusual for a guy to find everything he needs in one woman and stick with her until .... (At the very least, the request could be viewed in light of the many, many comments from guys in the various forums about relationships, friendships, OTC time, lunches and even freebies give, which instill hope in some of the rest of us.)

Yeah, I know I should find a girlfriend or SB. But that's not going to happen, and the hobby will have to do.

I was actually hoping to hear from some guys who have been similarly situated in the past, but I suppose they have nothing to add. As I suggested, maybe the only alternative is to wander around ECCIE and BP, doing some research, hitting on anyone who looks interesting and in my league, and hoping for a "yes." Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

I can't tell you how to do it on a budget, but I can tell you how to do it.

My criteria starts with beauty. Girl has to have it, it is a gatekeeper requirement. After that, all sorts of personalities are acceptable, but I like girly girls, generally bisex girls who like FFM threesomes.

In the beginning, you need to spend alot of money to get their attention. Enjoy them and then back off. Work on girl # 2, 3, 4 etc. Girls hate guys who cling and will ignore you if they don't like you, so you can only play it cool successfully with a girl who likes you. The only way to get to that point is to increase your odds. I have varying degrees of interactions with up to a dozen girls at a time. Some will like you, some won't, but you can't cling to any of them, because you won't have time.

Once you can live without them, some will contact you when they need money. Then, and only then, can you get what you want, though I still advocate paying well so you can get the pretty girls. Some will even like your style and personality, and everything else will take care of itself.

However, keep several girls on standby, just in case. If a girl knows you have leverage, it will intrigue her or piss her off, but it will show her you don't cling and you are not intimidated by women, and don't need a mommy.

P.S. Drive a nice car, and wear nice clothes, and workout, too, of course.

It appears that my clumsy attempt at laying the background for a request has resulted in some misperceptions. Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

Not really. You just don't want to acknowledge what you read.

I'm not clingy. Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

Yes you are.

I do not request free time, but I will gladly take a woman who says, "Let's do lunch" up on her offer. I do not typically initiate text, email or PM exchanges, unless it is to ask for an appointment, but I will respond if someone initiates a non-business-related conversation, whether it's hi-how-ya-doin or a tax question. I do not ask for favors, but I don't mind providing assistance to someone who requests it. I enjoy giving, but I don't expect gifts (though they'd be gratefully accepted ) In short, while I do not expect any extra consideration from a provider, being on the receiving end of such attention is nice, it definitely plays a factor in whom I decide to see, and I have enjoyed it -- who wouldn't enjoy a pretty woman telling you you're "awesome"? Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

You don't "ask for it" but you expect it. I'd put money on it.

That may very well never happen again. To correct any misperception, whether it does or not, the original post was trying to solicit advice on how to find a woman whom I would enjoy spending my time with and money on, and who would do a credible job of pretending to like me. Anything beyond that would be nice, but it's not a requirement. I don't know how common exclusivity on a client's part in this hobby is, but surely it can't be unusual for a guy to find everything he needs in one woman and stick with her until .... (At the very least, the request could be viewed in light of the many, many comments from guys in the various forums about relationships, friendships, OTC time, lunches and even freebies give, which instill hope in some of the rest of us.) Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

You will not find a young, hot latina who wants to hang out with you and enjoy you for fun at your age. Sorry. But it won't happen.

Yeah, I know I should find a girlfriend or SB. But that's not going to happen, and the hobby will have to do. Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

Not even then.

I was actually hoping to hear from some guys who have been similarly situated in the past, but I suppose they have nothing to add. As I suggested, maybe the only alternative is to wander around ECCIE and BP, doing some research, hitting on anyone who looks interesting and in my league, and hoping for a "yes." Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

They have nothing to add because there are none.

You got played. They got played. All yall got played. The chicks you're describing don't hang out with older white dudes because they want to. They do it because they see money. And when the money ain't there then neither are they.

How can you not understand how this works?