Hobby Bloopers

I remember a funny thread from the old ASPD days where the provider posted that whe she asked the guy to roll over on his stomach to start a FBSM had a big piece of toilet paper in his ass...DOH!

Ever made homemade salsa with fresh cut jalapenos and then make love to your so? Omg, I thought we were both going to die! The juice from the jalepenos got on both of our hands, even after washing, and eventually....well....you could imagine. That was a bad day. My SO actually called a family member and asked how to make the burning stop. That was even more embarassing!

I showed up at the wrong apartment which I’m sure happens all the time. What’s funny is that actually it was the wrong apartment complex and how the resident reacted.

The woman who answered the door wasn’t the same one in the photos but was really cute. I was confused and stuttered, “Uh, Hi, I’m *******”. She looked at the box of chocolates I was carrying and told me “name of provider lives in the next complex”. It’s clear I wasn’t the first person who showed up there looking for that provider….

Another story – Several years ago I went to see a provider whom I’d seen several times before. We were friendly with each other and would usually spend the first 15 minutes just talking. We would also sit and talk and have a drink after I showered. I asked her how her day was going and she replied “terrible”. She told me that she saw a new client earlier in the day who left skid marks on the sheets.

A few years back I was laying on a bed, getting blown by a civie. Lots of teeth and I asked if she could just do a HJ instead, HJ wasn't great either and she seemed to be spacing out, and I decided I was going to COF without asking. Just as I pop she moved her face out of the way and I shoot like a rocket up and out, and hit myself in the face. Thats karma for ya.

On a positive note, she was so amused, she stayed and our 2nd go around was stellar.

whom on her site and through her reviews made it clear greek was not an option. well after partaking in some awesome dato and tuha [tongue up her ass] i resigned myself to the no greek rule. as i was hammering her doggie i slipped out and as i guided myself back into her he just kinda fell into the wrong opening. i was slammin away as hard as before and she seemed quite to enjoy the activity. i finished in that position and she never said a word good bad or indifferent. i was happy she did not request an additional donation as i never bring extra cash to an incall

Click!

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=72976

Monk

I had a really sexy client in for a rub, we had lots in common and things were going great. We even started discussing dinner and taking things further.... I do my rubs top view only, so I keep a nice stringy/lacie something on.

Anywho, after the flip we're getting to the visual part..... Me bent way over massaging his feet, ass-in-face. Session ended with a bang and Client was happy as could be..... Then when I was getting dressed I realized my black thong was on inside out! My underwear tag was a huge beacon lol, but he never said anything about it.

I'm just waiting to be hitting it in k9 and bust my shins on my bed frame which sticks out from under my mattres and is hard wood lol.

I broke my bed frame during sex once and we were cracking up but kept going. I'm surprised we didn't slide off the bed. Lol

Genesis Nicole teabagged me, my head slammed into the wall. Didn't really notice at the time, except it broke her concentration for a second.

I remember a funny thread from the old ASPD days where the provider posted that whe she asked the guy to roll over on his stomach to start a FBSM had a big piece of toilet paper in his ass...DOH! Originally Posted by Reincarnated

That would have been me! Pretty gross stuff! I also had to share the time that I was doing an outcall, and the wife came home early. I had to grab my clothes, purse, heels, etc. and run naked thru the pool gate on the back of the house. It had a set of wobbly stairs that I had to get to and then try to keep my balance while trying to get dressed. They were doing construction in the neighborhood so I had to scale a huge pile of dirt..half-assed dressed and carrying my heels...and then dart across the driveway to get to my car. The motion light detector came on but I was like a gazelle and made it and got the hell out of there. In hind sight, it is really funny but at the time, I just remember thinking that this would only happen to me...of course!

[quote=RALPHEY BOY;740535]I took a huge dump in Monica Fox's incall!!!!...

quote]

RALPHEY TFF !! That one event ruined ever being able to take a dump at incalls for everyone forever........as it should be.....talk about a mood breaker..........Ah the memories over the years of ASPD lore.

I once caught a HUGE cramp right when me and the young lady was climaxing. The cramp and the orgasm was so intense that I literally screamed. Afterward, she commented on the fact that was one of the best reactions she had ever gotten but she was a lil worried about what her neighbors would think. I didn't have the heart to tell her.

Another time during K9 a girl was telling me to fuck her harder and harder and I got carried away and she did a couple of face plants into the wall before she could stabilize herself.

The last one is kinda nasty but oh well. Lovely lady, very passionate session (with multiple orgasms for both of us), during one of those intense orgasms, there was a lil poopie. As soon as it happened, she was mortified and that kinda killed the mood.

The last one is kinda nasty but oh well. Lovely lady, very passionate session (with multiple orgasms for both of us), during one of those intense orgasms, there was a lil poopie. As soon as it happened, she was mortified and that kinda killed the mood. Originally Posted by atxwrx

Atta boy!

The last one is kinda nasty but oh well. Lovely lady, very passionate session (with multiple orgasms for both of us), during one of those intense orgasms, there was a lil poopie. As soon as it happened, she was mortified and that kinda killed the mood. Originally Posted by atxwrx

I hope it wasn't in 69?

The last one is kinda nasty but oh well. Lovely lady, very passionate session (with multiple orgasms for both of us), during one of those intense orgasms, there was a lil poopie. As soon as it happened, she was mortified and that kinda killed the mood. Originally Posted by atxwrx

I guess you fucked the shit out of her.