Hearing the word "submissive"....

Wile E Coyote's Avatar
Well, you did want what others define it as.
Star Hollowday's Avatar
Well, you did want what others define it as. Originally Posted by Wile E Coyote
Lol did you not read in the initial post where I said "And I am not talking about the sub and dom thing"?
Wile E Coyote's Avatar
Yes, but some people cannot read or try to read something into posts that is not there. You will find that out quickly enough the longer you are on this site.
TinMan's Avatar
That’s not it. The answer is you can’t have a discussion about submissiveness in a sexual situation without “the sub and dom thing” coming up. They are too closely aligned in most peoples’ eyes, which is why I’d like to hear more women describe what they mean when they use the term, drawing particular distinctions from the BDSM world if that is not what they intend.
bobbyb1234's Avatar
That’s not it. The answer is you can’t have a discussion about submissiveness in a sexual situation without “the sub and dom thing” coming up. They are too closely aligned in most peoples’ eyes, which is why I’d like to hear more women describe what they mean when they use the term, drawing particular distinctions from the BDSM world if that is not what they intend. Originally Posted by TinMan
I share the exact same sentiment I poorly tried to convey earlier. I'd like to hear more from the ladies on this.

Submission is always on a gradient, it can never be just black and white to distill down to BDSM or Not. It starts from the most innocent of submissive behaviors, like letting someone pick your meal at a restaurant to the most vile with degradation.

If we're keeping the thread vanilla and not within the realm of BDSM, what threshold would submission fall within? Going from picking my flavor of ice cream up to a hair pull? spanking? Does spanking the booty now count as the lowest entry point into BDSM?
corona's Avatar
To me, when someone says they're submissive in the hobby it means I'll likely have to direct the session as it progresses.
Star Hollowday's Avatar
Everybody who responded proves my point in even asking "when you hear the word submissive what does it mean to you". This is why I asked the question. Somebody may think that it means its ok I can have my way with her or I can try to get away with whatever with her or I can take advantage of her or I can dominate her or I can just APPRECIATE HER and love her for LETTING ME take the lead on CERTAIN things. Its CRAZY how someone can take a word like submissive and bring up a MOVIE So ANY wowan that is submissive in life or BCD is open to THAT??? NO!!! THATS NOT TRUE. Thats only because THATS how YOU think and what you want it to be about. SO NO ITS NOT JUST ABOUT SEX OR BDSM.
Wile E Coyote's Avatar
As I said, all you have to do is make a post and usually whenever you ask for opinions or you even state an opinion on a subject, you will always have At least one or two people who will vehemently disagree with the opinion, many times, it's really not the opinion itself but the person who expresses it that they want to disagree with.

If you want to start an argument on this site, all you have to do is start a thread and it can be about anything, even asking about what the word submissive means. There are multiple definitions depending on who you ask, and when not if, there are varying opinions, one will always say that others opinions are wrong.

Welcome to Eccie, Star!
Star Hollowday's Avatar
As I said, all you have to do is make a post and usually whenever you ask for opinions or you even state an opinion on a subject, you will always have At least one or two people who will vehemently disagree with the opinion, many times, it's really not the opinion itself but the person who expresses it that they want to disagree with.

If you want to start an argument on this site, all you have to do is start a thread and it can be about anything, even asking about what the word submissive means. There are multiple definitions depending on who you ask, and when not if, there are varying opinions, one will always say that others opinions are wrong.

Welcome to Eccie, Star! Originally Posted by Wile E Coyote
Lol understood! I know now and will leave this thread alone.
TinMan's Avatar
You shouldn’t do that just because a few guys challenge the premise.

I think what you’re saying is just because you’re describing your general personality as submissive, that is not intended to say you enjoy those activities that guys associate with submissive play, and it’s not code for any particular activity. You just enjoy a man taking the lead instead of requiring you to do so, as corona said a few posts ago.

Is that the correct interpretation of your comments? I’m being sincere in asking this, since like most guys here I see the word submissive mentioned in women’s ads/profiles from time to time.
CKJAmore's Avatar
@Star, I concur with Willie and Tinman above.

Don’t leave the thread alone, unless you finished expressing your thoughts. Everyone should put their opinions out, as long as we do it in a way that’s not attacking of other people personally for theirs. And you have done it well. Good discussion is what makes this forum exciting.

You have started so well on ECCIE, asking some good questions that lead to good points from everyone. Do continue that on this thread, or on new ones you might start. It’s always good to see this kind of discourse. It is entertaining and educational.

Have fun and looking forward to seeing more from you!
LustyBustyGina38FF's Avatar
Star keep on shining!
I am not a sophisticated monger. I enjoy much more when my partners are taking the lead, surprize me, are showing me something new since they are more experienced. Call it team work!