HOOKER HUMOR

Why is a joke like pussy?
>
>
>
>
Neither's any good if you don't get it.

What's the difference between parsley and pussy?
>
>
>
>
Nobody eats parsley!

My last girlfriend took me by the hand and lead me down to the game room.

She got on top of the snooker table and onto her hands and knees.

She's had on a skirt and I could see she was not wearing any knickers.

She said "Pink or brown. Take your pick."

I said, "How the fuck can I play snooker when you're on the table?!"

We broke up.

Those of Native American origin please forgive me:

An Indian Chief went to a whore house and knocked on the door. The Madam opened the door and the Chief said, "Me come for um good woman."
The Madam said, "Do you have money?"
The Chief said, "Me have um plenty money."
"Have you ever been with a woman before?" the Madam asked.
The Chief replied, "No, never been with um woman."
The Madam immediately suggested he go find a knot in a tree and practice, then come back.
Several days past and the Chief returned to the whore house and knocked on the door.
The Madam opened the door, saw who it was and said, "did you practice?"
"Me um practice plenty" the Chief said.
The Madam invited him in and called for one of her best ladies. The beautiful young lady led him to her room, and they "got comfortable." No sooner were they naked, the Chief bent the young lady over a chair, removed a wooden slat from the bed and started slapping her ass with the slat.
The Madam, hearing screaming coming from the young ladies room ran and opened the door.
Seeing the Chief with the slat in hand and slapping the young ladies ass said, "What in the hell are you doing?"
The Chief replied, "Checking for bees!!"

^^Me likeum that jokeum

What is the Greek army's motto?
Never leave your Buddies behind!

What did the Auburn fan say to Saban?
Hey, Nick, got a second? I want to run something by you!

Do you know the difference in a vitamin and a hormone?

You can't hear a vitamin.

What's the difference between herpes and true love?




Herpes is forever.

Warning do not make love on railroad tracks train might come first

Dirty Johnny climbs onto Santa’s lap at the department store. Santa says, “I’ll bet I know what you want for Christmas.” And with his index finger he taps the boy on the nose with every letter he spells, “T-O-Y-S.”

The little boy answers, “No, I have enough toys.”

Santa tries again, tapping Johnny’s nose with every letter, “C-A-N-D-Y.”

Again, Johnny says, “No, I have all kinds of candy.”

“Well, what would you like for Christmas?” Santa asks.

Johnny replies, tapping Santa on the nose, “P-U-S-S-Y. And don’t tell me you don’t have any because I can smell it on your finger!”