drunken posts! the most honest of times!

I know people should refrain from posting while intoxicated but I just can't help myself. So a few things I've always wanted to know.... Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

What do you really think of providers?

I don't think any of them set this as a goal when they were young children. There was no "Future Hookers of America" club in high school. Circumstances led them down the path they are on. People will do what they have to to survive. I do not look down on them except when they behave stereotypically and fuck people over. I don't think that is an unreasonable perception.

What would you do if you found out your girlfriend was an escort?

Let her pay of few more bills. Fact is most guys cannot handle it, even the ones that say they can, but then they want you to quit. There are a few who can handle it.. Do not date a guy who wants to change you, but wants to help you change what you want to change about yourself.

As a provider I find it hard to date. What do you do if you like a guy? Say hey my name is britney and I am an escort? I feel like most guys wouldn't look at me for who I really am. They might just think I'm a slut and think yey free pussy if I told them what I did, so I don't even bother trying to date. Am I selling myself short here? I don't want to lie, because then whatever connection I have is fake. ...

Bingo! Any relationship based on deceit has no future and is not genuine. There are non hobbyists that can handle dating an escort. In the meantime, fill the loneliness with multiple guys that you "like". Let them take you out to dinner and movie. Have a small group of guy friends that you can socialize with. If one gets out of line or too clingy/needy/etc., punt him. You may not find love here, but your can find some decent companionship without constantly having to use your girl power to get it.



Sincerely,


one of your new long distance boyfriends.

First and foremost you have to be honest upfront... It might be easiest to bring a guy into the "friend zone", let him get a feel for who you are without the dating pressure. It could be a trial run. Then if he is ok with your occupation, and is still interested in you as a person, you can shift into dating mode.

Do you offer non-GFE sessions, or dinner dates? Not sure what you call it, but basically you hang out with a guy, dinner, movie, whatever for a lesser hourly rate. Maybe that could lead to something.

Good luck,
LF

What do you really think of providers? Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

I must like providers, I am client aren't I? I have met a few Providers that I wouldn't have mind seeing regularily in the civie world if it was possible. Most however, it's just business and should be.

What would you do if you found out your girlfriend was an escort? Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

I would be pissed! Not because she was providing but more so because she lied! A relationship can not be based on lies! That is why allot of us guys in relationships are here! There is no communication, love, trust anymore.... hence lies!

As a provider I find it hard to date. What do you do if you like a guy? Say hey my name is britney and I am an escort? I feel like most guys wouldn't look at me for who I really am. They might just think I'm a slut and think yey free pussy if I told them what I did, so I don't even bother trying to date. Am I selling myself short here? I don't want to lie, because then whatever connection I have is fake. Its such a starnge thing providing. Strange but good in many ways, so isolating in other ways. but if you asked most hobbyist if they would mind their so doing this they would probably say hell no. Eloquence has no room in my drunken stooper so forgive me for my drunken rambling. Any thoughts on this? Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

Let me give you a story. My daughter worked at hooters. Very attractive and even made the calendar spread. Her husband, met her at hooters. visited her daily flirting, tipping and finally getting that date! He won her over!! They got married and everything changed!!!

He demanded she quit hooters and kept her barefoot and pregnant for the last 3 years. He's an "F"n jerk, but that's another topic.

My point is he met her at hooters!!! He had no problem dating her at hooters but once he got that ring on her finger all changed because of his own insecurities and control issues. This is HIS problem not HERS.

Therefore, be honest upfront! You can't have a relationship based on lies or your partner will be on this board. Also, if a guy loves you for YOU! and is secure with himself and has no control issues he shouldn't have a problem with what you do? Granted, I wouldn't be thrilled if my GF was providing but if I knew the circumstances going in and was comfortable with those circumstances, and we did have an honest loving relationship I would not have a problem with it.

The good news is if your upfront about what you do with a guy you can weed out allot of the losers right off the top!

Good luck! Have fun and be safe

Guys have no problem wanting strippers, hookers and hooters girls.....

For a few moments of the day......

But when it comes to a woman they want in their life on a permanent basis they want a gal like their mom...... or a virgin....... Most guys REALLY do not want to know you had any history with any men before them......

You won't get a realistic answer or accurate insight from 99% of the men or women of these communities......You will get their dreams, hopes, wishes..... But they will seldom be accurate.... Find a different place to ask this question.....

Finding and keeping a man you can be honest with while you are doing this would be like winning the lottery the one and only time you play it.....

If you find someone you think matters to you ...GET OUT!!!!

IF you start telling civilian guys what you do just sit back and wait for the problems to enter your life the first fight or arguement you have.

JMO

...Let me give you a story. My daughter worked at hooters. Very attractive and even made the calendar spread. ... Originally Posted by CupOfJava

Was she the one with blonde hair, big tits, and a nice ass? I think I know her.

Was she the one with blonde hair, big tits, and a nice ass? I think I know her. Originally Posted by cpi3000

She told me I was the only one she would do that with!

put your most regular client on a monthly retainer and call him your boyfriend. Problem solved. Originally Posted by TaylorMaiden29

TM, I don't think that is what BB was asking? A client boytoy is not exactly a BF?

A short-term contract for an hour or two or even once a month is doable but a client on a monthly retainer probably leads to other issues as well. This said contract needs to be thorough and all basis covered from the outset. You are playing with real emotions and feelings.

I have heard of situations where the client and/or provider had gotten emotionally attached. This only can lead to problems.

Times, activities and details need to be explicity worked out ahead of time and strictly ahered to. I have heard of clients using these vague arrangement to gain advantage of more time, calling or messaging too frequently. Or worse, letting their emotions take over to the point of stalking or harrassing the provider. If you give an inch... they will take a mile.

It's not just the clients. Providers can get clingy as well. I have heard from clients in these situations tell me how they have been told they can only see them or the deal is off! Some try to control who they can or can not see. I have even heard of Providers threatening a client with exposing them to their SO's.

So make sure any frequent or long term deal is detailed and adhered too.

Have fun and be safe

Was she the one with blonde hair, big tits, and a nice ass? I think I know her. Originally Posted by cpi3000

She told me I was the only one she would do that with! Originally Posted by Whispers

Okay guys! Behave!! We're talking about daddy's girl here!!

Okay guys! Behave!! We're talking about daddy's girl here!! Originally Posted by CupOfJava

She calls you daddy too? That's just so wrong...

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Sorry man.... Couldn't resist..... You opened a mile wide door!: wavetowel2::waveto wel2:

She calls you daddy too? That's just so wrong..., Originally Posted by Whispers

whispers,

if that wasn't F'n hilarious i would be mad at you!
Lmao

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Sorry man.... Couldn't resist..... You opened a mile wide door!: wavetowel2::waveto wel2:[/QUOTE]

Here is my two cents on the matter: I would actually have no problem dating a lady who is in the hobby. Period. I'd marry a provider as well. That's just me. Some people will cough and call bullshit, but it's true. My view is that marriage is nothing more than a commitment to one person for the term of your life (if you so desire, that contract can be broken at any time) and will mostly involve one of the best friendships of your life. Exploring desires with each other should never be taboo and frankly, the relationship would probably last a very long time if two like minded people were to come to an agreement. Sex isn't everything but IT IS something that should be fun. Guys and ladies should feel comfortable exploring and you should be honest with each other. If you want to actually be with some one long term but like to play with attractive people short term, I say why not? Go for it. I believe in the power of the individual as long as it's consensual.

i have met a few providers that i really enjoy talkin with and being friends also. i enjoy taking them to dinner ( i pay for dinner but they arent on the clock and there is no p4p at the time) its just friendly conv. i mean face it, once you know you can "score" its really easy to just be yourself and not have to try to impress her or wonder am i gonna get lucky. if i want that i see her bcd all i have to do is set an appt.i live in killeen and almost every woman i see is in austin. if she comes up here ,either on tour or to see a specific gent then she is alone in an unfamiliar town cooped up in a hotel. im sure they would love to just hang out without the pressure of wondering what this guys alterior motive is. which is why i usually invite them after ive seen them bcd. that way the mood is more relaxed and we can both just have a nice friendly night

Just curious knotty man, by saying that you are friends with providers you've seen that you take to dinner, on you of course, can you define a little bit more about the nature of your friendship? do you talk often on the phone, hang out when you aren't paying for either the food or the p4p? curious as to what you consider a friendship? would she come to your aid if you needed something? would you go to her aid? is it a one-way or two-way street?
I'm not doubting you, just looking for a little more clarification and understanding of your definitions of friendship...

my mistake instead of saying being friends with is should have said "could "be friends with. and yes i would like to talk with and just hang with and even come to their aid should a friendship develop. as far as it being a two way street ,well that would be up to them, providers are by far some of the most interesting people ive ever met. they lead secret lives and have very intersting stories and usually have an opinion on most anything. and niether one of you have to hide who you are(atleast from each other). and yes there is one provider here in killeen that i do talk to on a semi-regular basis(once or twice a week ) just to see how her other job was going and how her fam is doing, just friendly chit chat. and when i got in an accident and had surgery she even came by once a week just to see if i neede anything and even brought me lunch a few times. but when its friends its friends when its business i let her know as soon as she picks up the phone

Britney, I'm not as pessimistic as some of the posters about you finding a BF someday that can handle your hobby experiences. I'm not exactly optimistic, either. But I know for an empirical fact that providers do find love, regardless of the hobby.

How easy or hard it is, I have no clue, but over the years I've known a number of providers that had BFs or husbands while they were in the hobby who knew about it. I've also known some that had relationships that couldn't survive the hobby or some that couldn't find a relationship because of the hobby. But the fact that many providers I've known had SOs indicate that it can and does occur.

A lot of the posters may think it's rare but that's because a lot of the providers I knew that were married or had a serious BF kept their relationship a secret because, quite frankly, it's bad for business. Their hubby/BF is usually assumed to be a pimp by hobbyists or it just creeps guys out thinking that somehow the hubby/BF will snap one day and go on some sort of ugly rampage.

A lot depends on the social circles where you meet a guy you might be thinking of getting serious about. You mentioned before that you're a small town/country kind of girl in the thread where you were asking about fishing buddies. If that's the sort of pool of guys you're "fishing" in for a possible BF, my guess is that you'd have better luck hitting the Texas Lotto on one single quick pick than meeting a guy on the first (or one thousandth) attempt that would be cool with you being an escort. If you're running with a more liberal, free-wheeling, open-minded, artistic, young, bohemian crowd, my guess is that your odds would be better but still not particularly great, knowing young men as I do (having been one a long time ago).

When people are young, there's a lot of figuring out who they are. That leads to a lot of questions and sometimes that leads to fears and insecurities and those are toxic to building a relationship. Having a GF that's a provider may be too much to bear for a guy that may be unsure about so many things (the distinction between sex and love, his sexual appeal, his penis size, his self-esteem, self-worth, etc., etc.). Not that every guy grows out of those insecurities, but with time they at least make peace with some of them. Just like they accept that they have a trick knee or a finicky stomach and accept the limitations that come with them. Or they just act like assholes when it placates their insecurities and make peace with being an asshole when it's deemed necessary.

Honesty is generally the best policy but you also need to be discreet to protect yourself. Outing yourself and your hobby life on the 1st or 2nd date or even before you date a guy, in the "I think I like him" phase, could be disastrous. That information makes an excellent weapon. And it could be unleashed in anger, even if the guy is just a friend, and once revealed, it can't be unrevealed. I knew one provider, who retired and unretired a couple of times, say this about the SO that was the reason for one of her retirements: (paraphrasing) "He said he was fine with it and he was most of the time. Until we got into an argument and then the first thing out of his mouth was always, 'You're nothing but a dirty whore.' "

The only thing I can tell you is get to know, really know, any guy you might be interested in, very, very well. Go out just as friends. pay attention to his insecurities, his temperament and how he acts when he gets mad before you ever try to take it to another level. It may well be that you have to leave the hobby to find a relationship. More than one provider has left the hobby because they were tired of living a double life, not just with potential SOs but with friends, family and coworkers, too.