Just Who Is DD?

Hell, Scarlett cain't afford mah rates! Nuny'all fillies could. Ah am high end luxury 100% beefcake. Jus' keep in yore mind thet Ah'm Kobe beefcake. All fat an' soft an' tender from gettin' massages and beers poured down ma gullet all day. But Ah will melt in yer mouth. Right after Ah'm done doin' ya in tha butt!

Aww DD has a purty girlfriend.

Mrs Scarlett La Douchehurst !

She ain't mah gurlfriend! Ah'm too much man fer any one woman! Why we ain't nevah even laid eyes on one 'nother! She jus' likes ta flirt in public like all y'all wimmin-folk duz, tryin' ta get all y'all's motors a-runnin' an' y'all's gums a flappin'.

... Why we ain't nevah even laid eyes on one 'nother! Originally Posted by David.Douchehurst

well we all got that, since she doesn't know shit about you. Not even who you are.
"feel free to translate into Texas drawl, my Babel Fish is on overload already"

If'n yore Babel Fish is a-feelin' peak-kid, mebbe y'all oughta run sum sorta scan on it. Or mebbe get yoreself a new ISP. Or mebbe a new computer. Them machines ain't human, so they ain't supposed ta get tired from a-workin' hard.

As a last resort, mebbe y'all could just skip ma posts. It's real easy not to read sumpin', brutha.

As a last resort, mebbe y'all could just skip ma posts. It's real easy not to read sumpin', brutha. Originally Posted by David.Douchehurst

NE VA !!!!

It would be a CAT scan, it's in the ear, you know, it's an essential tool when Masturbating the Universe, see another glitch, it meant Mastering the Universe, more like HitchHiking it really...
But it's too smart and dodges these X-Rays, much like Schrödinger's cat, and that would be a whole nother story ...

Luckily it has been described very well:


In any case, it had a hard time to adapt to Eccie slang, and then you came along with your DoucheBag talk and now it throws out occasional Dingo's Kidney.

Them dingoes are mean l'il sumbitches oncet they git all riled up.

My daddy taught me at a young age that women love a man that can make them laugh..... This Joker is asked about more than that "most interesting man in the world".... Even gets his own threads.....

How about helping me out with the FundRaiser Mr. Douchehurst

Let me raffle off a lunch date with you and a Fine Dining Establishment of your choice and you do your routine for them in an intimate setting....

Kind of a "Command Performance" for the queen....

How about it Ladies..... Would you like to see the Jester Perform?

Ah don't like givin' freebies. Mah time is right val-u-able. Nuny'all fillies can really afford meh. An Ah may require a refundable deposit in advance ta make shore y'all don't waste ma time an' NCNS me. Ah also may require a packet o' face pics ta make sure Ah kin ID ya when we git together. Nekkid is preferred. Wide open beaver is even better.

Ah will spare no expense, jus' as long as tha lucky filly is fine with Dan's Hamburgers, or Burger-Tex, or Casino El Camino, or tha Jackalope. Ah don't go fer none o' that vegematarian shee-yit. If'n they insist on no meat, Ah jus' might drag 'em to Subway an' let 'em have one o' them ol' foot-long Jared specials. An' thet's tha only way they'll ev'r git a foot-long from l'il ol me.

An' ladies remember, y'all are payin' ONLY fer ma companionship. Lookie lookie, no touchie. Ain't jus' any ol' gal thet Ah let stuff ma Bumblebee tuna can inna her hot buttered whisker biscuit.

Ah will spare no expense, jus' as long as tha lucky filly is fine with Dan's Hamburgers, or Burger-Tex, or Casino El Camino, or tha Jackalope. Ah don't go fer none o' that vegematarian shee-yit. If'n they insist on no meat, Ah jus' might drag 'em to Subway an' let 'em have one o' them ol' foot-long Jared specials. An' thet's tha only way they'll ev'r git a foot-long from l'il ol me. Originally Posted by David.Douchehurst

There ya go Ladies.... What an offer.....

Let's get some idea of logistics.....

Would you pick them up in your Limo?

Is there anything they need to know ahead of time?

Still Looking has T-shirts would they get anything special to remember their Dining Adventure?

Limos are fer closers, not first-timers. We'll meet at tha appointed place an' time, since itsa first date an' if'n she's a whack-job Ah wants ta be able ta make a clean getaway. Sum o' y'all's plumb loco en la cabeza, even if'n y'all's poonanny could crack a walnut. Nahsirreee, ma momma din't raise no fool. If'n they're real nice, Ah might take 'em by Walmart an' git 'em a l'il somethin' ta remember me by, like a $5 DVD or mebbe a pair of discount earrings.

hot buttered whisker biscuit. Originally Posted by David.Douchehurst

Well Scarlett, there's your answer. He's HotButteredWhiskerBiscuit, whoever that was. It's a circle jerk, I swear. Lol.

'Scuse meh, missy. Tha term "Buttered Whisker Biscuit" ain't proprietary to nobody, no how! Itsa part o' tha gen'ral 'Murrican English vernacular, sugarbooger.
Tha textbook daffynishun uva "Buttered Whisker Biscuit" from tha Urban Dickshunerry.
Ah jus' added "hot" ta tha mix. Yer argument is invalid!

I think everyone knows who HotButteredWhiskerBiscuit was? R.I.P.
He wasn't all that discreet!

'Scuse meh, missy. Tha term "Buttered Whisker Biscuit" ain't proprietary to nobody, no how! Itsa part o' tha gen'ral 'Murrican English vernacular, sugarbooger.
Tha textbook daffynishun uva "Buttered Whisker Biscuit" from tha Urban Dickshunerry.
Ah jus' added "hot" ta tha mix. Yer argument is invalid!

Originally Posted by David.Douchehurst

u

My my, what an expansive vocabulary you have. A man or woman with great intellect is such a panty dropper.

Yep, DD is talked about almost as much as Whispers.

Raffle. Raffle. Raffle.