A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do....

Livonia,

It took guts to do that and you don't have a damn thing to be embarrassed about. In fact I would say that you've made some big time brownie points with the ladies for sharing your inner most feelings/secrets. And probably a lot of admiration from the guys for having the balls to do it. Don't leave something you get enjoyment from. This thread will go away in a few days and no one will even think any more about it.

Livonia,
If you think you have the market cornered on Erectile Dysfunction you are laboring under a great misapprehension. Past fifty the number can be as high as 40 %. You are in good company, but kudos to you for keeping your whistle wet and refusing to go without a fight.
I love DATY as much as the next guy but would rather not get lockjaw trying to force an orgasm out of a lady who has already seen three clients that day. Tough on me, tough on her. A girl can only orgasm so many times in a day, and if you insist on her pleasure being the key to yours, where does that leave her? Feeling like she did not do a good job for you, and if you have a good provider that will bother her. To the professional, the pleasure she gives to a client is what she wants in order to feel as if she has done a good job. She gets a sense of pride from doing it well. When we insist on giving her pleasure she may not be able to produce ,we do not give her the opportunity to feel as if she delivered the best she could.
If you pass on a provider because there is one item not on the menu, especially an item where you do all the work, you are going to miss a lot of fun, and disappoint her. I encourage you to lie back, relax and let your lady shine, and everybody will go home a winner. I think you will find she will get a big smile and give you her best, because you deserve it, and so does she!
I speak from personal experience when I say, there are times the planets do not align and I am less likely to sock it to a provider than lay one on her. Those times do not distress me and I take comfort in the knowledge that if I am in bed with a naked young lady, there is very little that can happen to mess it up, and tomorrow will be another day.


In the words of Pogo. "We have met the enemy, and he is us."

Kyla...at such a young age, I commend you for having the mindset to make your emotional well-being a priority. It is above all else, YOUR body and sacred space. If you are going to choose the hobby as a career on a long term basis....self care is essential to assure a healthy place for the next phase of your life's path.


Livonia it was VERY refreshing to read your open and honest post. It does happen more than you think to men of all ages. It makes me sad when you guys are so hard on yourselves for not performing to your own personal standards. I promise,you are not letting us down...the company enjoyed is satisfying to many of the ladies.

Well I feel I need to explain why DATY is a deal breaker for me. And it will be hard for me to type this and open up.

Due to a side effect from having heart surgery, as Kyla knows, I am not always able to perform. Originally Posted by Livonia

Not only do you not have the corner on the ED market in general, you don't even have the corner on it here. Take my word for that.

And if the ladies I've seen cared about my being able to perform, I'd be run out of the hobby by a mob of angry providers brandishing torches and pitchforks. I've found that the quality ladies can get around that problem easily. I do let them know upfront about it, just in case, but I've never found it to be an issue. And when everything does work, it's a big win for all concerned.

And now that I just embarrassed and revealed myself, I think I may vanish from the forums and hobby now. Originally Posted by Livonia

There may be reasons to slink out of the hobby and away from here, but frankly I don't think yours is a very good one (or I would have preceded you ages ago). Please stay around.

Cheers,

bcg

Well I feel I need to explain why DATY is a deal breaker for me. And it will be hard for me to type this and open up.

Due to a side effect from having heart surgery, as Kyla knows, I am not always able to perform. So I can't justify speeding a lot of money for a BJ for an hour. It would also be disrespectful to expect Kyla to perform oral for an hour, to "get my moneys worth". I am also a person who cares more about pleasing a woman than being pleased myself.

While I may attempt positions, it may not always happen and I feel worthless after that. If I can put a smile on a lady's face, I feel better. Without that option now, I feel I would just be using a lady and providing nothing for her. So overall a deal breaker.
And now that I just embarrassed and revealed myself, I think I may vanish from the forums and hobby now. Originally Posted by Livonia

For some of us guys, a big part of companionship is mutual enjoyment of the time spent together. I am not satisfied with a session unless I have given the lady some pleasure or at least tried to do so. I try to ask each lady what will make the session enjoyable for them, and then do that.

IMHO, most ladies prefer (and I could be wrong about this) a little (or a lot, lol) DATY in order to get enjoyment out of the session. (Am I wrong, or is this the ladies' version of a BBBJ?) Of course, all human beings are unique and I'm sure not all ladies can be placed under this umbrella. And some ladies may prefer to keep DATY off the menu except for SOs. I met one lady that wasn't turned on so much by DATY as kissing and caressing the rear of her upper legs (just below her butt).

And Livonia, even though you feel embarrassed, you shouldn't. (I know, I know, each person's feelings are genuine and unique to them.) All I'm saying is you presented an honest and straightforward viewpoint. It wasn't necessary. Also, see my PM.

[BTW, there are lots of things that are dealbreakers: some guys won't see a lady who doesn't do BBBJ; some won't see one who doesn't CIM; some won't see one who doesn't DATO. There are numerous likes/dislikes that guys prioritize.]

Livonia,

I have never read a post that got tears in my eyes, damn!

Livonia, like Sandie said " It does happen more than you think to men of all ages". Believe me Livonia, you are not alone. We all have our reasons and issues why we pick this hobby. Man, don't feel sorry for yourself, it is not going to make any better. You make us sad to see you like that. Futhermore your reaction would makes Kyla feel bad about this threads she posted. Put youself together, do whatever you could to enjoy life while you can. Not just Dreams and Kyla, I bat, most of the ladies in this hobby does understand our issues. I think I remeber you said something like this before "if we are handsame and preform like a "champ" we don't have to pay for "pussy". That is why we are here and the providers are here for us.

Livonia it was VERY refreshing to read your open and honest post. It does happen more than you think to men of all ages. It makes me sad when you guys are so hard on yourselves for not performing to your own personal standards. I promise,you are not letting us down...the company enjoyed is satisfying to many of the ladies. Originally Posted by sadie

Exactly--let us do our jobs and provide us with good company and you HAVE made our day. One of my favorite clients suffers from ED and we have the best time just laughing and talking. I think you guys misunderstand what can really give a working girl true pleasure sometimes.

No one is offending me!!! I understand special circumstances and I just want you to know, Livonia, it doesn't take DATY to put a smile on my face. To me, the best feeling in the world is someone else's orgasm.

Amen, Lily!!!

Gosh how do I say this...
I used to love DATY and like a lot of girls it was the only way to get the big O.
However, over the past few weeks I have for some reason or another started to enjoy other things more. Particularly being roughed up.
Without going into too much detail for the sake of those providers out there viewing this, I will just tell you that what DATY does to most girls, rough sex does to me. I love being thrown around and feeling out of control. Weird, huh?

Gosh how do I say this...
I used to love DATY and like a lot of girls it was the only way to get the big O.
However, over the past few weeks I have for some reason or another started to enjoy other things more. Particularly being roughed up.
Without going into too much detail for the sake of those providers out there viewing this, I will just tell you that what DATY does to most girls, rough sex does to me. I love being thrown around and feeling out of control. Weird, huh? Originally Posted by ***KYLA***

Not so; not so. We all have our idiosyncrasies that turn us on...some more than others. And, as human beings, we are constantly changing. That which I like now, I only dreamed of years ago, and before that, I never thought of. Some people travel this path faster than others. There is a definite niche for what you like.

I think you guys misunderstand what can really give a working girl true pleasure sometimes. Originally Posted by Blond_Lily

Yep.

I have found in my short time with you all that this industry can be very taxing on one in unexpected ways. Some things I thought would complete bring about distaste for me personally have yet to bother me and some things (ahem DATY) have completely emotionally wrecked me. I don't know why this is, and as I sit here trying to dig deep and figure myself out, I think about how very unique this job is.
It's really friggin' personal. And it's REALLY fun. I have made some of the best friends I have ever had through this job. I truly love it and I have a feeling it is going to be quite difficult to put in my two weeks notice (haha) when the time comes. But like everyone else, I have to set limits to keep it fun.
My menu, dear friends, is in dire need of some revisions. I am still a bit new to this, so please remember everything that is happening right now is still rough draft material and in the end I hope to achieve 100% customer satisfaction.
Love you guys!!! Originally Posted by ***KYLA***

Kyla, I just wanted to chime in here and offer my unsolicited opinion. You should do what you are comfortable with and nothing more. DATY has never been a big deal for me, and I don't think it makes you non-GFE if you don't want to do that. However, I realize a lot of guys think that, so you probably made a good choice in taking the phrase GFE off your menu. You don't need the label of GFE anyway. The guys can read your reviews to determine that you are top-notch in every way.

Do what it takes to keep this enjoyable for for you. As long as you don't mislead any guys, most will still love to come see you often. I can't wait to meet you. You seem like a great person and you're really F'n hot!

Post deleted by Postman.

Don't feel bad, DATY does nothing for me either.. some guys love it.. mainly because they need to think they are "getting you off" and don't have confidence they can do that adequently with their cocks..

or

They have listend and apply what they hear from other women in regards to the only way a girl can get off or "that girl" can is from good daty.. and they assume all women are like that..

I made and make no bones about it..a guy can do all the DATY he wants..i will not fake enjoyment, I won't lay their motionless either.. but all guys that ask got told..brag all you want about your DATY skills and tongue..its a lost concept on me..

a good hard cock, to suck on or to fuck is 10 times better then some guy licking my cooch..just the facts.. guys always want advice..the best advice is to realize all rules don't apply to every woman..

of course..the little known fact about DATY and providers clamouring for it and "needing" it.. ya.. well thats also a nice way to get thru a good portion of a session without having to have some guy on top of you, or your mouth on some guys cock.. i mean he gets 2 things at once..

he gets to feel like he is "really getting " her off..and he gets to feel like the "big man" by doing so.. she gets to lay there and moan and move and yes any provider worth her weight can "get wet" simply with a vivid imagination and what stimulation will occur from him licking.. the good ones will do the "im close" bit and either lick their hand or simply go for their own cooch and begin to rub thus claiming "im close" simulating "getting off"..but truly not hard to "get wet" if a girl wants too..

and a girl could burn a good 15, 20 minutes just strokin the guys ego about how much "she loves it" and "how good he is"..all providers know the guys..the ones that brag how many providers or "ladies" tell him how good he is at it.. those guys are easy targets to burn up session time with DATY..