How Does This Work?

This will come as strange advice.

Cut and Run.... What kind of loser is hitting up $120 hookers for dates because he can't afford the session?

Why would you show any interest in a guy looking for free to bargain basement sex on a SHMB like this?

What kind of guy will want to see you as a Client now paying your rate knowing you can be talked into a M&G and possible relationship.

Hey Losers.... The Line starts right over there! Take a shot at her....

Sorry to be so blunt... Sometimes though it is the best way to hear that kind of advice.....

To tie in my First Statement.....That was strange advice coming from me considering a young lady I met via P4P has been living with me for 5 months now....

It wasn't planned... the strangest of circumstances came together.... what was meant to be a temporary arrangement with her in a spare room for a short time became something else entirely.....

But....

It will never last.....

One of these days in the midst of an argument I'm gonna have it in the front of my head what kind of girl she was and could easily continue to be.... and she's going to remember how shallow I was in ordering up sex like fast food before and while she was getting to know me.

We've already had a few moments where she shows some attitude about the number of "hookers" I have as friends... then some embarrassment remembering our meetings as client/provider......

So the arena in which we met is a relationship killer.....

Then there is the 33 year age difference and the difference in social structures we have......

Every morning I wake up and find her beside me I get to feel good about one more unexpected day and night with her being completed....

But just as easily as making it through the day..........

It could all come apart tomorrow.....

With most relationships when they end there is that feeling like the person leaving can't be replaced.... or it will take time to replace them.....

You won't have to worry about that.... There will be no shortage of losers not wanting to pay you if they can date you....

Him though? Finding a hooker to set aside rates and just hang out?.....

Maybe another one like you will stumble in a few years from now....

In regards to the one that lives with me.... She has a pretty easy life at the moment.... wants for nothing.. is well cared for..... I think we can both pretty easily replace the other......

Maybe that is why it keeps working? Zero Jealousy and a lot of practicality.... But eventually..... it WILL end....

I've been in a few relationships with providers over the years..... None have ever lasted......

I've known guys and gals alike that have dated within their client/provider world..... I've never known one to last.....

Do you want to be in a relationship you KNOW will end?

Just lower your rate $20, take the lovesick saps money and look for love outside this sick little world of ours.... And NEVER let anyone know what you do..... Not if you want a future with them

I say never mix the real world with the underworld. Oil and water.
You entered the hobby for the money (I hope) and he entered for the pussy.

Between endless free date sites and meetup groups available there is absolutely no honorable reason in the world why anyone would go trolling an escort site for a platonic friendship. It appears as if you are getting played.

NEVER let anyone know what you do..... Not if you want a future with them Originally Posted by Whispers

I just want to add.... NEVER, EVER!
Personaly, If I am in a relationship, I do not p4p.

I get the money angle part. Obviously if the guy has trouble or concerns paying for one sessions he may not be financially stable.
Other than that, I fail to see how her meeting this guy for drinks or going on some dates with him is any more of a risk than advising her to use a dating site.
I can't count how many horror stories I've heard from female friends about guys they met on dating sites. Guys who blatantly lied about themselves on these sites. Claimed to be single when married, claimed to be handsome when not, claimed to have a job when actually unemployed, claim never to have been arrested when in fact they spent 6 years in prison, the list goes on and on.
So yeah, if I was Chrystal, I'd definitely consider that a guy that has trouble paying for one session probably isn't the most financially stable guy around.
Other than that though, I fail to see where the risks are any different than meeting someone online at a dating site or in a club or in a grocery store for that matter. You still know ZERO about this person until you get to know them.
As far as the relationship lasting? Seriously? What's the record on "real world" relationships lasting these days? Or marriages for that matter?

Let's not forget one thing too. If she meets a guy in the "real" world, will she tell him the truth about what she does for a living? If so, can't that guy use that against her as much as any guy she would meet in the hobby world? The risks are the same in my opinion. The only guarantee is to take the time to really get to know the person, real world or hobby world, before committing to a possible romance/relationship.

One other word of advice.....

Float his name in whatever provider only areas you have access to.... You may find this is a pattern for him......

There are more than a few guys on here looking to be a provider's special friend that NEVER have the slightest intention of paying for a session.....

It's a game to some of them....

hobby and my life are 2 things that never cross, just my way of going about it so it would be out of the question for me

I get the money angle part. Obviously if the guy has trouble or concerns paying for one sessions he may not be financially stable.
Other than that, I fail to see how her meeting this guy for drinks or going on some dates with him is any more of a risk than advising her to use a dating site.
I can't count how many horror stories I've heard from female friends about guys they met on dating sites. Guys who blatantly lied about themselves on these sites. Claimed to be single when married, claimed to be handsome when not, claimed to have a job when actually unemployed, claim never to have been arrested when in fact they spent 6 years in prison, the list goes on and on.
So yeah, if I was Chrystal, I'd definitely consider that a guy that has trouble paying for one session probably isn't the most financially stable guy around.
Other than that though, I fail to see where the risks are any different than meeting someone online at a dating site or in a club or in a grocery store for that matter. You still know ZERO about this person until you get to know them.
As far as the relationship lasting? Seriously? What's the record on "real world" relationships lasting these days? Or marriages for that matter?

Let's not forget one thing too. If she meets a guy in the "real" world, will she tell him the truth about what she does for a living? If so, can't that guy use that against her as much as any guy she would meet in the hobby world? The risks are the same in my opinion. The only guarantee is to take the time to really get to know the person, real world or hobby world, before committing to a possible romance/relationship. Originally Posted by DTorrchia

Logically speaking it makes little to no sense why someone who cannot afford a session would join a P4P site and start PMing working girls about sessions he already knows he can't afford. Then he follows this up with a segway right into a "Let's just hang out as friends" request?

Has nothing to do with how much more or less of a risk it is to either side.
There is just something highly suspect about this on multiple levels.

Do you walk into a car dealership and tell the working salesperson that you came in knowing that you have no money for a car but would love to go for a road trip sometime just for the hell of it?

I believe she stated, "he was nervous about booking and had to be aware of his budget"...
Without further input from Crystal, it's all simply speculation. She didn't say he couldn't afford it, didn't "want" to pay or anything else. The above quote from her could cover a lot of situations. Crystal stated "they" hit it off and that she suggested they not meet as provider/client. So again, I'm not saying anyone's right or wrong, I'm simply saying that it seems some are leaping to conclusions. Crystal never followed up on her post by stating how things went when they met for drinks. Did he pay? Was he a gentleman? What kind of vibe did she get? All of these are unknowns and therefor to simply state that this guys is a "looser", "Creep" etc is a bit premature IMHO. To make predictions on how this may all end up is also a bit premature, the reasons for which I posted in my earlier responses.

I believe she stated, "he was nervous about booking and had to be aware of his budget"...
Without further input from Crystal, it's all simply speculation. She didn't say he couldn't afford it, didn't "want" to pay or anything else. The above quote from her could cover a lot of situations. Crystal stated "they" hit it off and that she suggested they not meet as provider/client. So again, I'm not saying anyone's right or wrong, I'm simply saying that it seems some are leaping to conclusions. Crystal never followed up on her post by stating how things went when they met for drinks. Did he pay? Was he a gentleman? What kind of vibe did she get? All of these are unknowns and therefor to simply state that this guys is a "looser", "Creep" etc is a bit premature IMHO. To make predictions on how this may all end up is also a bit premature, the reasons for which I posted in my earlier responses. Originally Posted by DTorrchia

Valid Points except for a few more unanswered questions..

What exactly does "Nervous about her rates" mean? I'm guessing her rates are not much more or less than the standard market rate.
He contacted her based upon her ad. Were rates not included in the ad?

He then flirted back and forth afterward before asking her out on a date. Not saying he did or didn't behave the gentleman but most male players and con artists are quite the gentlemen.

I wouldn't be so assumptive as to conclusively call him either a creep or a loser but I still get the impression she is being played based upon the details provided.

If she doesn't suspect as much on some level why even post about it for feedback in the open forum?

Crystal said: I met him for a drink and it was kind of like a blind date.

I guess my question is, has anyone had a similar experience? If so, how did it go? Is it possible to have a successful friendship/possible romance with someone you have met in this manner?

Gentlemen, would you "date" a provider, even if you had never paid for her time?

Yea, Keyboard warrior conclusion jumpers no doubt me included. It sounds like she had fun. The hobbyist has a new technique that may work here. PM a provider, cry poor mouth and throw out some sob story. Create a "relationship" and chemistry through the internet then convert this to a real life SO situation.

Not a bad play. I have dated providers and never paid for time.

It goes exactly how Whispers has described how it goes. It's fun while it lasts until it isn't fun anymore. Oftentimes the meeting is really the entrance into the gates of Hell.

Maybe he's a good guy. Maybe he is not. Odds are if he doesn't have the powder to pop for a session he's probably a deadbeat; total assumption but not that outlandish of a conclusion.

But like Whispers said: Never let anyone know what you do that you possibly want a future with. Those are words to live by.

Never cross the light sabers Luke.

In this case Crystal, you have already done that.

-Boog

We're in this hobby for many reasons. I keep it as is like a friend provider/client relationship and nothing more. It's better to keep it that way in my opinion. No probs.

Just a reminder- providers if you do decide to "date" outside of the hobby and you use any of these online dating sites be sure not to use the same photos/wear the same clothes/do anything that could help guys connect the dots that you are a provider. There are creepers that scan dating sites like okcupid, match.com etc and they knowingly hunt for providers on these sites and then approach them with bad intentions. If you're a glutton for punishment and wanna tell a guy you are a provider then do it AFTER you get to know him a bit.

Compensated dating has civie dating beat hands down IMHO so I don't know why anyone would bother with all the BS in the civie world...plenty of nice guys here that are honest about what they want and thoughtful enough to pay you for your time.

http://www.okcupid.com/

Just sayin'. Originally Posted by Vyt

Run Forrest Run!

Compensated dating has civie dating beat hands down IMHO so I don't know why anyone would bother with all the BS in the civie world...

Sorry to hear that civie dating has not treated you well. People bother with civie dating because at the end of the day after the client or provider leaves, you are alone. A hobbyist can dabble in P4P till he dies, there is no age limit. A provider is limited in her time as a provider. The imaginary clock is ticking.

plenty of nice guys here that are honest about what they want and thoughtful enough to pay you for your time. Originally Posted by Reya Sunshine

Yes there are plenty of nice guys in hobby land but they are not paying for your time, they are playing to have sex with you. I just don't get how a provider or hobbyist could date in the civie world and see providers/clients without being jaded in some way. I think to have a legit shot at the civie world, you have to take yourself out of the hobby game...

sixx

Yes there are plenty of nice guys in hobby land but they are not paying for your time, they are playing to have sex with you. I just don't get how a provider or hobbyist could date in the civie world and see providers/clients without being jaded in some way. I think to have a legit shot at the civie world, you have to take yourself out of the hobby game...

sixx Originally Posted by sixxbach

I agree 100%

Isn't a true love relationship based upon trust and honesty? As Whispers put it one should never tell a potential SO (she is hoping for a future with} about her hobby activities.
The catch is one would be hoping to start a genuinely honest relationship based upon deception. Dead in the water. The same applies to the guys. Tell a civie girl in love with you that you fuck hookers on the side and see how long that last.

It's not so much about possessing someone as it is about finding that elusive magical bond of unity between two people committed solely to one another.

Whether for financial compensation or not I believe we create soul ties to everyone we fuck. When finally meeting someone worth being tied to, you would have to become jaded or harden the heart to some extent to continue hobbying IMO.