SO's of providers, how do they do it?

Sarah I think it's great that you are giving a relationship a go and I appreciate the comments. I truly hope you both find happiness in each other and live each day with love in your hearts. Don't be a stranger when you finish up your time in the hobby. Let us know how things are going, even if it's just a short note. I think you have the great outlook and attitude towards your relationship. I wish you all the best.

Tess, I have never posted much, but I have spent time reading and if there was one word I could use to describe you it would be "classy". I hate only having one word but that's the rules. I could have used a lot more. Thank you for your well wishes and I know that the wisdom and insight you bring to this topic is something I will take and use to help make my relationship better.. My GF has a lot of respect for you as well and we both think you are wonderful person. We both thank you for commenting on this topic.

I will take the advice dispensed freely in this thread and use it wisely. Things in our relationship have already improved in the shot time since this thread was started. We have spent more time talking as well as listening to each others concerns. She and I both are looking at the things we love and the things that concern us in this relationship. That has already help her and I see and understand each other better. I am thankful for that. We are both ready to move forward and use the things we've learned from our talks over the last few days to make our relationship stronger.
I can say that I'm glad you were wrong on that point Whispers, I was really hoping my post wouldn't do the damage you mentioned in your reply.

Please play safe and be nice, so everyone can enjoy this life.

This is a great thread!



I believe, like any relationship, communication is key. Trust and communication. Without those two strong as foundations, the relationship is bound to crumble.

As long as she does not offer CIM you should be fine.


I didnt get the point of your post....first you say how great it is...then you say how you are ready for the door. It sounds like your basic, unhealthy, jealous relationship that has amazing sex....like most unhealthy relationships do. Much like my current relationship...only the sex has faded in my situation. Which is what brought me here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PO7q5z5wbNc Originally Posted by Carl

but that song is about a SW...lets hope she is not a SW cuz then CIM might really be on the menu

but on a more serious note...did you notice in the video at 2.07 he pulls the mic out of the stand and keeps singing into the stand with no mic? then notices and laughs it off. now thats some funny stuff

I have actually put a lot of thought into this lately. I have a very serious SO and I was planning on quiting when we either A) move in together or B) get engaged.
He doesn't know. He has NO CLUE!
I've been debating if I should tell him or not after I quit (of course).... I'm leaning towards not telling him and just keeping it a secret since I know and obviously from your experiences... it causes problems.

I have actually put a lot of thought into this lately. I have a very serious SO and I was planning on quiting when we either A) move in together or B) get engaged.
He doesn't know. He has NO CLUE!
I've been debating if I should tell him or not after I quit (of course).... I'm leaning towards not telling him and just keeping it a secret since I know and obviously from your experiences... it causes problems. Originally Posted by bella_bee87

It could blow up in your face if you don't tell him, BUT (and that's BIG "but"), consider this: How could it help your relationship to tell him? Honesty?
sure, there's something to be said for that, but seldom, in normal relationships, does it help for one of the people to confess to the other, about a "fling", or indiscretion or dark past that is no longer pertinent.
It's kinda like telling someones S.O. about them cheating... it doesn't help the relationship, causes lost friendships, and causes a lot of hurt that wasn't really necessary.
I would suggest NOT saying anything...ever. Unless of course you want to "TEST" his devotion, or for some reason, cause him deep pain. It seldom does anyone any good to discuss intimate personal details from the past. It may relieve a guilty conscience, but it really loads up the other persons ability to think clearly..
That's it for free advice, and it's worth every $ you paid..LOL

+1 on don't tell. Most guys wouldn't be able to handle it. But, if you're going to tell him, I would do it before you make any sort of commitment like moving in together or getting engaged so he has a chance to back out gracefully.

I gotta hunch, IF he backs out, there's not going to be anything "graceful" about it.

I gotta hunch, IF he backs out, there's not going to be anything "graceful" about it. Originally Posted by nuglet

That was the other thing I was going to mention, but I got distracted so I forgot. I would recommend NOT telling him because there's no telling what he will do with that information if he is really hurt and/or pissed.

Bella_bee id suggest keeping it a secret. If I was seeing someone for quite a while, proposed to her and shortly after she told me she was secretly a provider the whole time we were together...... its time to take the ring back for a refund.

Of course I am not him and his reaction may be totally different but id imagine many many guys reaction would be similar

NEVER ever tell, lol. I dont even like the fact my SO used to be a trampy Promo model

I have actually put a lot of thought into this lately. I have a very serious SO and I was planning on quiting when we either A) move in together or B) get engaged.
He doesn't know. He has NO CLUE!
I've been debating if I should tell him or not after I quit (of course).... I'm leaning towards not telling him and just keeping it a secret since I know and obviously from your experiences... it causes problems. Originally Posted by bella_bee87

This has Dr Phil episode all over it. Go for it but don't mention anything about us on ECCIE. Remember none of what happens on this site really happens, but is just the fantasy of a bunch of perverted old farts.

These kind of relationships IMO do not work out. I was dating a client who turned into a bf and everything you stated above was going on with us... I think I am better alone and not to mention besides being a provider I am also a single full time mother. Its so hard to keep a relationship under these circumstances. You are absolutely not alone. There are many going through what you are but just wont come forward to admit.

I think most providers I know currently have an SO or have had them at some point in their providing career. Many of the ones who don't hide their job from their SO met him as a client so there was no need for a big revelation -- others were honest from the start or revealed it very early on in the dating process before there was too much emotional investment.

Now as for the ones that keep their providing secret, I don't know how on earth they do it. It would kill me to be keeping something like that hidden for months, even years on end. But if you have managed to keep it secret for a long time, it's probably best to keep it a secret forever. Take it to the grave. Revealing it can't lead to anything good.

I have actually put a lot of thought into this lately. I have a very serious SO and I was planning on quiting when we either A) move in together or B) get engaged.
He doesn't know. He has NO CLUE!
I've been debating if I should tell him or not after I quit (of course).... I'm leaning towards not telling him and just keeping it a secret since I know and obviously from your experiences... it causes problems. Originally Posted by bella_bee87

I can say, I am glad I knew up front what I was getting into. The one thing about not telling your SO what you do for a living, is the loss of trust that will be a part of your relationship the moment you reveal your secret. Had I not been told ahead of time about my GF's job, the relationship would have ended if she would have told me later. A lie of that size would have blown any chance of trusting her after that. It's hard enough knowing but not knowing, then finding out after the fact would have ruined my ability to believe anything said from that point on.

Another thing that made it harder for us was me getting laid off. The economy made it tough to find a job and leave it to money to spark a fire in an already hot situation. Things let up when I found work and now we spend a lot more time enjoying each other rather than fighting each other.

I think most providers I know currently have an SO or have had them at some point in their providing career Originally Posted by Sensual Sophia

I met my GF through a dating website. She told me what she did before we met face to face. When she told me that I told her that I had seen a couple providers about 6 years ago. What I didn't expect to do was fall in love. We both knew it would be hard and it has been. Over the last few months we have worked hard on communicating with each other and talked about issues we both needed to resolve. That has made the biggest difference. Things are more fun with the issues out of the way and we both feel better about what we have. Playtime for both of us has also improved with multiple partner possibilities.




Now if only I could save a few $ to get that Pole for the house, things would be spot on.