Should I lie ? References ...

I would be honest - you never know, the guy might just be dropping your name.

It appears you and I remember the situation differently
and I'm sorry that I seem to have upset you.

Have a terrific day!

First of all, I save the city they are from and their first name only, handle or P411 ID if applicable, phone number and email address. I can search my phone on any of the data fields. It organizes my database better. If I want to travel, I can type in BR and all my Baton Rouge contacts propagate my list. Now I can send individualized emails to my friends in that city and let them know I'm coming.

Examples:

Clients
Bob (With no city prefix is Houston based)
BR - Bob
BR - Bob - handle name or P411 ID.
No last names.

Ladies:

Work Related
P - And their name

A friend:
Personal - And their real name
I never save a ladies work and personal numbers / emails under the same contact. I also never cross reference their stage or real names.

Second of all, I normally just say whether I've seen him or not. I've learned whatever I say, good or bad, will get back to the client and not necessarily the way I said it or the way I meant it so I leave it at yes I've seen him or no I have not.

If there was a problem with him, then that would be a different matter. I can only recall once that I gave someone a no referral. I told the lady why. She kept asking should she see him. I kept saying, no you shouldn't. If you are in doubt for for any reason, it's not worth the $350.

However, if I saw a gentleman a long time ago, and I know for a fact it was a long time ago, and he uses me over and over and over and over and over and over for a reference. I will eventually tell him it's best he use one of his more recent ladies as a reference.

It appears you and I remember the situation differently
and I'm sorry that I seem to have upset you.

Have a terrific day! Originally Posted by Seeking ~P

No worries and this is not the first time there was confusion on a reference and trust me I'm in no way upset , I just don't want anyone to think I'm selfish or beaver damming lol but unless someone has been horrible to me or really memorable I tend to not save their info , I was just trying to look out for my fellow provider by being truthful ... Feel free to contact me anytime for a ref I'll always be open an honest about it .... And on a side note gents if your gonna use me as a ref please pm me or text me first so this dosnt happen again lol especially if it's been more than 3 months since we've played ..,

I would be honest - you never know, the guy might just be dropping your name. Originally Posted by yardbird74

Amen ... if you cannot remember the tard, you cannot give a reference.

I think that if you don't remember the guy then you should tell the provider hey up front. Because you could get another lady messed up if a guy is just lying on you and using you as his lead way. I also think that you should have the lady provide that guys number so that way maybe he could remind you of yalls session. That's what I always do. Now if its been over 6/months ago well hey he's on his own

Why lie. If you don't remember then don't refer. You could be setting up another provider for a problem and if the shoe was on the other foot would you want someone doing that to you.

IMHO, you answered your own question....

...what's a girl to do Originally Posted by AllisonofHouston

...tell the truth and and say the names familiar but that's about it ? ...with no info but his name and partial number Originally Posted by AllisonofHouston

And on a side note gents if your gonna use me as a ref please pm me or text me first so this dosnt happen again lol especially if it's been more than 3 months since we've played .., Originally Posted by AllisonofHouston

This^^^^^^Is the way to handle it. I've always asked my references before giving their info to a new provider.

When I found ECCIE I was encouraged to do a couple of reviews by providers I had seen. My now ATF explained it this way. A future provider may look to see if you have reviewed others. This might influence that provider to say yes to you as a new friend when you request a first time session.

Reviews will also allow providers to remember you as time passes and memories fade. PM the lady you are requesting the reference from and point her to your review. You might also remind her of something non-hobby related you talked about or something physical the provider focused on. Something like your sexy green eyes or that tat of a lion on your thigh. Help the provider remember you when asking for a reference. Take note fellas.

Allison, to answer you question directly though, references are a safety measure. If you don't remember the hobbyist after he gives you some reminders about your time together just tell the reference seeker that.

Good luck and stay safe!

I have a few providers that are civi friends. I would not like to hear that one of them had a run in with LE or got knocked around because one of them called a provider for a refernce from more than 3 months let alone 5 months and ask did you see . I would be extremely upset if I knew who the provider was that trivially said Yeah, Bob great guy. Come to find out she had the seen 5 Bob's and there was another Bob that month she turned away that gave her the creeps. Referals are all about safety. For us guys we have reviews to get a general idea and the gals have their referal phone calls/PM's/ texts.

I am going to agree with Sweet Cakes!!! If you cant remember him and it is a common name, then its possible that you didnt even see him and he is using you. I have had this happen to me before. I too get contacted for old references and what I say...yes I have seen him, but it has been xamount of time ..... or.... if I cant recall whom he is I ask the provider to have him contact me, and will get back with her once he has jogged my memory. I save everyone I see in my phone as ther handle.... this allows me to access his handle on board and jog my memory too....

Allison.........."sweetie, I would to help you, the guy seems familiar, but I'm not 100% sure whether it's him or not."

You're telling the complete truth, you show you want to help, but you're being cautious with her. You leave both you and her an out.

At the end of the day, you're an intelligent lady, and no doubt you'll do the right thing.

First of all, I save the city they are from and their first name only, handle or P411 ID if applicable, phone number and email address. I can search my phone on any of the data fields. It organizes my database better. If I want to travel, I can type in BR and all my Baton Rouge contacts propagate my list. Now I can send individualized emails to my friends in that city and let them know I'm coming.

Examples:

Clients
Bob (With no city prefix is Houston based)
BR - Bob
BR - Bob - handle name or P411 ID.
No last names.

Ladies:

Work Related
P - And their name

A friend:
Personal - And their real name
I never save a ladies work and personal numbers / emails under the same contact. I also never cross reference their stage or real names.

Second of all, I normally just say whether I've seen him or not. I've learned whatever I say, good or bad, will get back to the client and not necessarily the way I said it or the way I meant it so I leave it at yes I've seen him or no I have not.

If there was a problem with him, then that would be a different matter. I can only recall once that I gave someone a no referral. I told the lady why. She kept asking should she see him. I kept saying, no you shouldn't. If you are in doubt for for any reason, it's not worth the $350.

However, if I saw a gentleman a long time ago, and I know for a fact it was a long time ago, and he uses me over and over and over and over and over and over for a reference. I will eventually tell him it's best he use one of his more recent ladies as a reference.
Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

Olivia, I hope you're encrypting your phone... even if it's a hobby-only phone .

Ask yourself how would you like a lady to lie to you about a reference? Then you have what you need to know. Originally Posted by trey

Best response.