S&M how to start

Aftercare fo' life!

Inadequate aftercare can lead to the crazies and fuck up the whole dynamic of a relationship (friendship, partnership, lovership, whatevership).

http://clarissethorn.com/bdsm-resources/

The first question you need to ask is of yourself. If she sees herself as a sub, are you actually a dom or are you just wanting to please her? I've been doing a lot of research and playing over the past couple of years and I've come to the conclusion that there really are very few genuine doms (or dominas) out there.

Not understanding my own role in the lifestyle, I ended up going to a professional dominatrix for a few sessions. I explained my confusion so she tailored the sessions in such a way that she could reach her own conclusions. She decided, and I totally agree, that I'm neither a sub, switch or dom and that I'm actually a kinkster. There's nothing wrong with that and I suspect that many people who are interested in the lifestyle are probably not subs or doms either.

I think the point that I'm trying to make is that you probably need some practical help, for both of you. Being genuinely submissive, as opposed to enjoying the fantasies, is not an easy thing to be. You hand over every aspect of your life to someone else and trust that they mean only the best for you. Being a genuine dom is even harder. You have to take responsibility for that person's life. Not just in the bedroom/dungeon because a D/s relationship is much more than that when you are in a committed relationship. Not only is it not for everyone, in my opinion it is right for very few people.

Even if yours is not a real D/s realtionship (Dominant/submissive, in case you were wondering), there are many excellent lessons to be learned that work in the vanilla world too. The core of a D/s relationship is trust and communication and who doesn't need those in a 'normal' relationship too?

Spend some time looking at the Another Realm forum. There are many suggestions there from fellow eccie members.

Monk

Hey Monk, was hoping you would chime in here!

Going with some of your reviews.... may be you should offer your services to them ... just a thought ...

Hey Monk, was hoping you would chime in here!
Going with some of your reviews.... may be you should offer your services to them ... just a thought ... Originally Posted by fun2come

Something along these lines, Greystoke?



I have a review on the way that touches on the darker side. Stay tuned.

Monk

thank you all

THIS WEBSITE IS A GOOD " BDSM 1O1 " RESOURCE !!! http://frugaldomme.com/

That is a good website.

It's a journey, just travel safely and be dedicated to each other. I'll be happy to exchange some PMs and share what I know.