I have put myself in the position of the wife who has found out that her husband has been seeing providers (theoretically). Would I be mad about the deceit? I would, yes. I would think these things:
Does he think I'm too weak to handle the truth?
Does he think I'm not good enough in bed or not pretty enough?
Where did he get the money?
Why am I buying clothes on sale when his mistress is wearing Creed perfume and Lou Buitton's. Why am I working at a shitty job just so he can donk off two or three days pay on some ho? I should be treated better because I'm home, washing his drawers, dealing w his mother on holidays, raising his kids, cooking his dinner, ironing his clothes and some ho gets the best of him and doesn't ever have to deal with his moodiness, anger, farting in bed, etc.
Why do providers get treated so much better than the wives who are at home doing right?
What I want to know is: have you ever thought about what would really hurt your wife if she found out you were seeing escorts? How do you reconcile the money spent on girls? Does your hobby budget bring down the quality of life at home? Does your wife cut coupons not knowing that her savings are going to girls like me who don't love you and only get your best side? Are providers like me really enhancing the home life like I had previously thought or are we really unhealthy and expensive vices that lower the standard of living for families?
Originally Posted by HunterGrace
Hunter, I think you have some very well put and thought out points. But in my case I was married and it was not that simple. I saw escorts and eventually some others that became more of a mistress/girlfriend type that I no longer paid for. Why did I do it? I loved my wife. I thought I did. I also had kids with her. I loved my family. Unfortunately she didn't really love me back or appreciate me very much. She withheld sex, she was always griping at me, she had this personality that became very ugly, she resented the thought of me. I provided a wonderful life for her. She came from nothing. I met her on a dating site 10yrs ago and I practically picked her up on the side of the road (I'm not joking - for real her car was broken down). With a kid in tow (whom I adopted later that year) and he's now 12. We went on that first date, she was living at her dads, and she never went home. She came back to my place and literally never left from that night forward. True story. We were married about 7 or 8 years in total. My older 12yr old son is hers biologically. I adopted him. She had a small child that night we met. We also had another boy together. But our lives were miserable most of the time. The only good thing out of it was my kids. She was awfully messy, she didn't work or contribute, she literally never cleaned a thing, let clothes pile up everywhere, dishes, nasty rank stuff. And I mean nasty. Like on the Hoarders tv show. Just awful, imagine the most disgusting things. And me, I'm an OCD neat freak kinda person, so imagine that clash.
She eventually came to resent me b/c she perceived me as being superior to her. "Better" than her. The problem I think is she had, and still does have, extremely low self esteem with some debilitating depression. She came to hate me b/c I provided for her and she had to somehow "bow down" to me. The reality is I didn't want anyone to bow down. I wanted a partner. An equal. Unfortunately I made a huge mistake and married an adult child. I should never have let her stay that first night. You might wonder why I married this person in the first place. I was stupid. I wanted a baby real bad. I wanted a family. I was 29 and had tried before and the girl I was with was infertile. I was desperate to have a family. And I'm someone who dives right in to relationships full force. For me this shit is either happening or I wanna move on. I don't want any long courting period. I wanted instant connection. I wanted instant bonding. To some degree that will always be there, I'm just not someone who wants to jack around with "dating" a girl for a year (screw that), but man I was stupid to jump into this one so quick. Like I said literally about a 3hr date and after that we were in the sack and the rest is history. Talk about some kinda world record!
It was my achilles
And when I met her and she got pregnant right away, that was it, I was starting a family. Worst mistake of my life. You young guys reading this take note.
Even with all of this I was willing to continue forward. To go to marriage counseling. But when she found out about this hobby (she got a hold of my phone once when I forgot to use incognito and erase my shit) it was all over. She even slept with my lousy ass brother, whom had just served 17yrs in prison, a real piece of work psycho, just to fuck with me. In our house, where she was still living, in our bed. She went off the deep end. She ended up in jail for stealing a couple times. I went to the emergency room once to get 10 stitches over my left eye and she went to jail for family violence. That all helped me easily get custody of my kids but it was only for a year. She got them back. She got a hotshot attorney who did her work pro-bono thinking he would clean house with me and get me to pay his fees, and my attorney was an idiot, so she got them back. I gave up on it and just stopped the fight for the sake of our kids. Her attorney didn't get awarded anything. Court ordered her to pay her own fees. Her attorney was pissed. LMAO. We now talk. Try to be friendly.
Anyway, the point is she came to hate me. Or resent me. Constantly nagged on me, bitched at me, had horrible PMS all the time (more like PMDD - a very severe form of PMS that can last nearly the whole month and includes things like temporary psychosis - literally... look it up), rarely ever wanted to or refused to have sex. I don't think I really loved my wife anymore. I say I still do. But I think I loved the idea of my family unit. Of being an unbroken family. I don't think I could possibly have truly loved a woman like that anymore. She was so much not my equal, so uneducated, so filthy, so scatter-brained and unorganized, so mean, bitchy, and incapable of ever saying "I'm sorry". But I couldn't bare the thought of some court breaking up my family, letting this woman have my children. This filthy, hoarding, uneducated, adult....... child. Raising my children, alone? No way. So I kept the status quo. But I'm also a man. And I had needs. So I did what I had to do. That's the end of the story. Hope you folks enjoyed it. Hah!
My point in this long story (thanks for staying with me if you made it this far) is that there are a great many reasons why someone may be seeing you. So before you dismiss every married guy as an asshole that is taking advantage of his cute little helpless loving wife think twice. There's usually a reason (but not always I grant you).
Cheers from one perverse woman to you and your other half. 
