What's the worst thing that has happen to you during your meeting?

When I went down on a provider about 12-13 years ago, I found a kind of "berry" taste. In my newbieness, I thought she'd used some kind of flavored spray, and that seemed like a neat thing.

Well, later she offered to wrap me up in one of her "special strawberry flavored condoms"! At that point, I realized that I had just tasted her previous client's foray...

...needless to say, it went downhill from there real quick!

First clue is check the bed. If bed is wet and warm you were following someone, recently.

A very long time ago I was in the middle of a wonderful date with a polite and sweet gentleman. Unfortunately his wife came home early. A fight broke out and she absolutely refused to give me my clothes for me to leave. She kept making me out to be a victim and the poor man I felt so sorry for him. It was the first, last and only time I have ever been accosted by a wife of my date. Originally Posted by JayceeRivers

OMG - That sounds awful.

Once after doing an outcall someone's house and seeing all the toys and his wife's stuff all around, I wondered what would happen if she came home.

After that I put a rule of no out-calls if they live with someone.

Oh yeah, fucktards never lie.

First clue is check the bed. If bed is wet and warm you were following someone, recently. Originally Posted by pyramider

i had this big fat guy that wanted a bbbjcim. he was not cleaned and stunk, needless to say I about tossed my cookies and he's on my do not see list!

I am seeing some common themes here.

Who the hell does not change the sheets between appointments? Ewwww

2nd. who the hell does not thoroughly wash their ass and junk immediately prior to an appointent? ewwww

One time someone knocked on the door, had the wrong door. Instant wood killer.

Another time the fire alarm went off. Ugh! My client was really sweet about it though.

First clue is check the bed. If bed is wet and warm you were following someone, recently. Originally Posted by pyramider

That would be called Pecker Tracks

2nd. who the hell does not thoroughly wash their ass and junk immediately prior to an appointent? ewwww Originally Posted by Holly Love

If you don't know to wash your ass before an appt as far as i'm concerned it means you're just not used to washing your ass but unfortunately it happens on both ends w/guys and girls and yes how f'n gross

Its not the worst, but definitely was a mood killer. It has happened 3 time during my 20 years of doing this. I learned to never, ever stick your fingers in a girls ass even though they like it and had done it previous with them.. not fun feeling a super warm turd about to come out.. very hard to discretely excuse myself to wash the shit off my finger and worst part it was underneath my finger nail.... Originally Posted by RALPHEY BOY

I just threw up a little in my mouth after reading this RB and a little piece of my sexuality just died.

This is also why I don't understand guys and there obsession with greek and as#hole licking.

BL

OK, second worst! I grew up in this hobby before the internet, where you had to call some cheesy "service" who would jack you around half the night before sending out the wrong lady, late, and she would upsell. When the internet and indies hit, I was in heaven!

Fast forward to about 8 years ago. I had to spend several weeks in my hometown (a not-so-big midwest town) on family matters. No indies, just a couple of the aforementioned cheesy services. I was finally about to go crazy, and called one of the services.

Well, it took several calls, because the woman I wanted wasn't available, then the replacement wasn't available, then the replacement replacement wasn't...you get the picture. They finally lined someone up, and of course, she was nearly a couple hours late. When she got there, she told me that she had gone to the wrong room at the hotel where I was staying. We both kind of laughed it off (more to come on that later...).

So we start doing our thang, and at the 45 minute mark, I'm just about to pop and her phone rings, she answers, and it is her service reminding her that time is almost up and she has another appointment in 15 minutes!!! Buzzkill. I sent her packing. Chalk it up to another crappy service...

Well, the next morning in the hotel breakfast room, some big ol' cowboy comes strolling in with some friends and starts crowing loudly about how "some pros-ti-tewwt accidently knocked on my door last night...". You would not believe how hard it is to slouch down and try to hide behind a bowl of Cheerios...