It's play. total play. in real life i am a confident, assured man who would never let someone push me around. in real life, the person who tries to do that to other people isn't a "lifestyle" domme, they are a bitch, or an asshole. Treating people without respect isn't what being a domme is. And being treated disrespectfully isn't what a sub seeks.
Quite the contrary, in our society, especially for a man, allowing oneself to be drawn into a subservient sexual role with a woman whom the man considers DESERVING, is quite a gift. I don't give a darn how beautiful a woman is, how much leather she owns and wears, if I don't consider her a goddess, I ain't submitting. In fact, I ain't doing squat.
Now in the p4p, it is a crapshoot, a gamble, a luck of the draw whether the lady providing the service fits the bill for the man. if she doesn't, the gent is out some cash. Sucks, but that's life. if she does fit the bill.....well, consider yourself damn lucky.
Originally Posted by barneyrubble
Interesting. I think that to F-m lifestyle practitioners, BDSM isn't so much about sex as it is power exchange / relinquishment. Relinquishing power excites me, so there is a definite sexual aspect. And, given my complete druthers, i would be directed in a multitude of lengthy duration methods of providing sexual satisfaction to my Domme. However, relinquishing power means just that, turning over the reigns to someone else, and deriving pleasure from serving.
What does serving mean? It means whatever the Dominant wants it to mean. Does it have to be fun, enjoyable, even tolerable to the submissive? i suppose the answer to that depends on who is answering. my answer is "no,not really."
i am not talking about exceeding negotiated limits or ignoring safe words or red/yellow/green. Aside from that, the Domme is in charge.
