Advice for a VERY naive hobbyist

VNK,

Your getting some great advice here so I will take a different angle. Use eccie and pf411 to do your research. Get to know some of your chosen providers as persons and treat them with the same respect as you expect to be treated. Don't "save" anyone but simply appreciate them as people who have their own hopes, dreams, etc. for the future. A future that does not include you. Be nice and they will return the favor. You can learn a lot from a person that has had different life experiences than you.

Have fun!

I really appreciate all of the input. It's making me feel a lot more confident about everything.

As for the CC paper trail, I'm not worried for 2 reasons. First, this would be on my own personal account... both my wife and I have a card that's "hands off" to the other person, so that we can buy gifts or basically blow through it any way we want - without the other person snooping. Secondly, I basically have permission to go "get a happy-ending" someplace. So, I think we're good. It was more of a question of A) am I going to end up losing $$$$ from some scammy transaction, and B) do "they" even accept credit? For example, I once bought a $150 bottle of vodka at some strip club. I didn't leave trashed or anything... but they tried to charge my card for $1500+. It was an easy fix but I'm sure it isn't always simple.

Anyway - thanks again everyone. I'll plan my visits and will be sure to post back here with results.

I really appreciate all of the input. It's making me feel a lot more confident about everything.

As for the CC paper trail, I'm not worried for 2 reasons. First, this would be on my own personal account... both my wife and I have a card that's "hands off" to the other person, so that we can buy gifts or basically blow through it any way we want - without the other person snooping. Secondly, I basically have permission to go "get a happy-ending" someplace. So, I think we're good. It was more of a question of A) am I going to end up losing $$$$ from some scammy transaction, and B) do "they" even accept credit? For example, I once bought a $150 bottle of vodka at some strip club. I didn't leave trashed or anything... but they tried to charge my card for $1500+. It was an easy fix but I'm sure it isn't always simple.

Anyway - thanks again everyone. I'll plan my visits and will be sure to post back here with results. Originally Posted by vnk

Just a bit of advice. Been bitten by the vague ok "go find something" in the past. Forget the CC and go with cash. You don't want a trail that can be subpoenaed in divorce proceedings if she changes her mind in mid-course.

Hobby phone and stay really discreet about sharing experiences. She may be fine with you getting physical with someone else, but if she thinks you are starting a relationship without her things could get ugly fast. It can be difficult to judge what might threaten your SO relationshipwise until you are at ground zero.

P411 is great. I have no experience in the AMP world.

A hobby phone and cash protects you from stalkers and other unwanted attention. Most of the women you deal with are stellar but some have folks around them you don't want anywhere near your life, even if your SO is totally onboard with your hobby.

Not a sure bet, but close, women are "ok" with sex but they are NOT ok with relationships, so I'd keep your stories to yourself, and not share with your SO. One of my favorites pointed out here on the board that not even providers want to hear your "knocking boots" details.

my apologies

with all this great advice being thrown your way, seems all you need to do is browse the verified provider listings (either here or p411) and pick a newbie friendly provider. There's plenty of threads on "Best Newbie Friendly Providers". I'd suggest someone in your neck of the woods in case things don't work out the way you like, you don't have a long frustrating drive home..... but then again, ANY drive home after a NC/NS or just not "clicking" with someone can seem like an eternity!

Just a bit of advice. Been bitten by the vague ok "go find something" in the past. Forget the CC and go with cash. You don't want a trail that can be subpoenaed in divorce proceedings if she changes her mind in mid-course.

P411 is great. I have no experience in the AMP world. Originally Posted by txh64

Fair enough - it's just a check card/visa so getting anonymous cash out is np.

Thanks again, everyone. P411 on the way.

Between ECCIE verified providers, Private Connections, and P411 you would have to get pretty unlucky to get busted if you do your homework. I suggest drawing out extra cash at the grocery store every now and again and stash it.
Get comfy with a well reviewed lady then go test the waters......

I don't want to be the one to say it, but when you're wife says it's ok....it's really not. In other words....



Be VERY careful if you choose to go to a provider. I think your plan of visiting an AMP is a very good decision. If you happen to get a happy-ending or something more (I recommend Smile), so be it. At least you went in with the intent of getting a massage - at least that's what you tell the divorce lawyer.

I don't want to be negative, just want to make sure you stay married and protect your relationship while being able to get your release or two.

VNK - I'm in the same exact boat you are in -thanks for asking and starting the questions. I'm in the "burbs" and it's near impossible to find the time, and a little far to drive to an AMP. I've started a cash stash and waiting for my heart to stop pounding before I can take a leap in the know, vesus the unknown at a strip club. LE is the biggest worry cause I can lose my job...

there is always some risk of LE but that is another reason to stick with the well reviewed ladies. i never see anyone not on P411 and well reviewed. its not fail-safe but doesn't hurt. also i prefer independents. i broke in to the hobby at Studio One which got raided about a month later. this post here is pretty much the way i roll and i can say i haven't met a lady i wouldn't be willing to see again.

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?p=333240#post333240

I posted this about 20 minutes ago, but it seems to have gone off into never-never land. So my apologies if it shows up twice.

I have been in the hoby for less than a year, and so far my worst experience has been wonderful. My recommendations: Register with p411, then request an appointment (through P411) with a well-reviewed lady by men you recognize from the boards. Get a provider okay, and proceed to more providers. Use only cash, get a hobby phone, and any potential run-in with LE is almost nil.

So far, I have limited my contacts to providers on P411, but I'm not sure that is necessary. One thing I can attest--the providers on this board are AWESOME.

Enjoy!

vnk,

I'm in almost exactly your boat.

Things had gotten really slow in the sex department... Once every 6 months or so. So, I actually decided to attack it head on. She said she didn't feel sexy. So I asked if she found other men attracted to her, might that change her mind. She was intrigued, and we tried swinging for a bit. We found out it helped greatly, but she got really jealous! LOL.

She didn't want to quit, and she thought it selfish to say that she could play, and I couldn't. So, her solution was that as swinging for a guy without a woman along is nearly impossible, that I find an escort occassionally, and have some fun. She doesn't want to hear about it, or even know when I go. When I say I'm going out with the guys, there are no questions.

So, my point is that you might actually want to have a discussion with her. Our sex life together is nearly as good as when we were dating! Different things work for different people. Don't be too pressured to fit into the societal molds we normally tend to think of. Perhaps talking and trying some things together, or even apart, will bring you closer.

I wish that I had been in your situation, your wife sounds pretty cool compared to my ex. I have been a strip club guy for years and am exploring the indy's. I think that it's safer, but the few times that I've scheduled...I've been nervous...and have made several laps spying antennas on cars etc. before actually going to the room.

So far, I have been lucky with a few very beautiful, hot providers who have been very easy to work with. Good luck!

If you're worried about police then I'd stay away from AMP's. I know others will disagree, but cops know where those places are too, and you stated quite clearly that is your number one fear. Better to find a newbie friendly independent who has an incall that cops don't know about and break your hobby cherry there. Originally Posted by friendlyguy77

I am mostly an AMP guy and I would like to agree with part and disagree with part. LE certainly do know where these places are.

"Raids" and "busts" at AMPs have been discussed her at great length. I have also heard info from male friends and from friends working at AMPs. There are two kinds of police action that hapen most often, although not very often.

"Raids" where several officers arrive together. These are usually INS green card searches.

"Busts" of the working girls. Undercover police go into the room with a girl and trick her into an action (sometimes not much) that they perceive as being illegal and arrest her. It is not important to them whether there is a conviction. They scare her and cost her a few thousand dollars in legal fees. They can then use these arrests as justification for rescinding the bunsiness Certificate of Occupancy.

Neither of these involve the customers. I have read of a few guys being scared as an officer talked with them (rarely), but no arrest.

I would assume that there may have been arrests somewhere in the past. I have not seen anyone give a date or place where it has occurred.

There is some risk in this entire hobby/business. I personally feel much safer in an AMP than in Dallas traffic before and after my visit. Besides Dallas traffic kills.

BTW I am not promoting AMPs, just stating my opinion on the LE risk. Make your decision and enjoy.
Torito