Have you ever met a provider/client and ended up wishing you hadn't?

I've met 2 I wish I had never met due to stalking threats and probably worst experience as a provider. I've enjoyed everyone else I've met and several became great friendships. But until the other day I never wished I hadn't met them. Sucks when a friendship is taken advantage of.
I've met 2 I wish I had never met due to stalking threats and probably worst experience as a provider. I've enjoyed everyone else I've met and several became great friendships. But until the other day I never wished I hadn't met them. Sucks when a friendship is taken advantage of. Originally Posted by LusciousLacy
I promise I won't be a stocker darling. But you have to promise not to fall in love with me.
Still Looking's Avatar
I've met 2 I wish I had never met due to stalking threats and probably worst experience as a provider. I've enjoyed everyone else I've met and several became great friendships. But until the other day I never wished I hadn't met them. Sucks when a friendship is taken advantage of. Originally Posted by LusciousLacy
And I thought I was just a fan?
Bigh1955's Avatar
Yes, I have had a few meetings like that. The time spent together was so amazing, the sex was out of this world, the conversation/pillow talk was so cool, but when the ultimate goal was met, it was cold shoulder time. Its the worst kind of anti-climax in my opinion. I know its just a release for some, but there are times I feel a connection with people and when the cold shoulder happens, it bothers me. It kind of makes it feel like the whole encounter was fake, and that bugs me. If someome is going to be a cold fish, I would rather they are that way the whole time, instead of blowing smoke up my......... you get the picture! Originally Posted by Nicolet
It's the law of averages, the more people you meet the more likely this will happen. I think it's about as likely as the opposite. Think about how many times you thought "thank God that's over...we had nothing in common" as the door closed. It happens, personalities mess, or they don't.

Don't let the cold shoulder bother you. It goes with the NSA nature of the hobby. The encounter wasn't fake...you met someone, you clicked, you had sex....maybe even GREAT SEX, but it was a business relationship with clearly defined boundaries. The GFE has to stop at some point or bounderies get crossed, and that is dangerous for you and your client. Ideally, at least for me, the GFE illusion should fade about 30 secs after the door closes and I'm on the elevator. Some folks are different and need that distance sooner or they feel themselves getting attached.

Thanks to the OP. This thread puts some humanity back into what is often a cold hobby

My first time. He was so romantic and indulgent with me. Afterward he wanted to lie with his arms around me until our time was over. When it was time to leave he walked me to the door, I leaned in to kiss him goodbye, and he pulled away. It was a cold slap from reality. I checked my breath as I walked down the hall. That wasn't the reason, he was simply finished with me. Que sera sera though, right? Although I won't say I wish I'd never met him, I definitely fell from that fantasy with a thud. It was a valuable lesson that I would've had to learn at some point, and I appreciate what a nice time I had while I was with him.
Fancyinheels's Avatar
I've met some wonderful people in the hobby, gentlemen who have become close and lasting friends even if the relationship was compensated, one of whom I lost recently after 4 years as his playmate when his heart failed. (Noooo, wasn't MY fault. I wasn't there at the time.) I do understand the frequent "cold shoulder" treatment as you're on the way out after the fun, don't let the door slap you on the ass. The transition is a wee bit jarring, but to be expected as part of the path we ladies have set ourselves on.

There was one fellow, however, that I wish I hadn't met because he broke MY heart. When I was still pretty green as a professional companion, I was engaged for a dinner date by a newbie who was about 10 years younger than I, and when I drove up to the upscale restaurant and saw him standing out front waiting for me, I said to myself, "Oh, Fancy, you're in &^%$@#* trouble now!" It was instant attraction and chemical reaction. He was tall, blond, handsome, well-dressed, intelligent, and not inconceivably out of my age range for public association. We somehow made it through dinner without tearing our clothes off (thankfully we had been in a private booth or we would have been tossed out for making a scene with all the lip-locking), decided to go back to his new house (which was way the heck out in Pasadena) and I followed him there, we went skinny dipping in the pool in the moonlight (I was the first woman to be "baptized" there), retired to the boudoir, and what was only supposed to be dinner and a quick "dessert" turned into all night and most of the next day.
OMG.

That was the only time he gave me money, and then just my dinner date rate. I went back to his house a few times, and he met me at my hotel suite hotel a few times (this was way before I had my incall apartment), the sex was amazing, and I thought it was turning into something more; we must have spent 100 hours on the phone, him in his backyard pool in Pasadena, me on the porch of my cottage in the deep, dark, spooky woods north of Houston, looking up at the sky watching for shooting stars while he identified the constellations or pointed out the craters on the full moon. He talked about his work, his family, his parrot, his plans, his frustrations, his motorcycle. He took me on a midnight ride once, me in a skirt billowing in the wind, and we ended up with waffles at IHOP, laughing at the drunk crowd. Another time we went to my favorite place, the Texas Renaissance Festival, in his new BMW, and I still have the moon-and-stars amulet he bought me there.

However, he was going through an ugly divorce (I was the first woman since his wife) and a midlife crisis (he had just gotten piercings in rebellion), and wasn't ready for any kind of emotional commitment, understandably, whereas I was at a point in my life where I wanted one. I think he realized it was getting too intimate when I sent him a big box with a giant Christmas stocking stuffed with little presents, things I knew he liked. (He had never, ever had a Christmas stocking, can you believe it?) We were going to go to a New Year's party at his work, but, well, he decided he wanted to go solo. My heart shattered, as I knew that was the end of that, and yes, he stopped calling shortly thereafter and wouldn't respond to my emails. Yes, I cried myself to sleep on more than a few nights, and it took me quite a while to get over that tightness in the chest and gut feeling.


Oddly, he called a few months ago like nothing had ever happened, and I'm happy to say that I felt nothing. He just wanted to talk about what had been going on with him over the last few years, and while I made the appropriate "uh huh, that's great" remarks as he prattled, I realized that all he had EVER wanted to talk about when we were "together" was himself. The only other times he had taken me on other "dates" in public had been the bike ride and the Ren-Fest, and he had spent most of the time at the festival fooling around with his impressive new camera, and had never sent me any of the photos. Amazing what you talk yourself into "hearing" or "seeing" when you think you're falling in love, when in reality I had always just been a booty call and someone to call who would listen sympathetically and invariably agree with him when others didn't, someone to show his "toys" off to, and our short-lived "relationship" had never really evolved past the self-involved-client-and-I'm-here-to-please-you-provider stage.


Really difficult for couples to maintain relationships, as one side is nearly always going to want more than the other, but especially challenging for Hobbyists (both ladies and gents), I think, because we are used to having it "our way" too much.

(P.S. - Anybody want an amulet, slightly used?)