You pay a woman to hop into bed with you and you think it is evident that you value THEIR thoughts because you pay for even more time with them to make youself feel better about yourself by making them feel valued for something other than sex, even though you are having sex with them and getting to know them improves your 99% sex between the brain doctrine errrrrrr, idea ....this sounds like Strausberg method school of acting!
Originally Posted by WTF
You must have flunked remote-diagnosis-psychology 101. (*grin*)
Actually, it is not a function of time paid for in sessions at all. I have a budget, and a maximum amount I'll pay for a session. For more expensive ladies, that's only a couple of hours; though for most it could be longer. But I also have scheduling constraints. It's not about the time or money.
Let me tell you what it's about. It's about handling a provider's legal work, helping her square away a problem with a hosting provider, teaching her combat self-defense, and a dozen other little things. I've fixed their chain saws, helped them do better on the LSAT, helped them design curricula for the first college class they would be teaching, etc etc etc. I allowed one provider to film me teaching martial arts sessions so she could bring the videos back to a group she was worthing with.
Once I went way wrong and tutored a provider's kids at her request and ended up with a provider refusing to let me pay for sex sessions. We still chat and stuff, but I obviously had to stop seeing her. No more involvement with providers' kids for me.
THAT is how a provider knows that I hold her personally and uniquely in high regard. As I have limited bandwidth, that's not something I can spread around to all kinds of women. Typically, as I stated, I can only see a couple at a time and adding someone new is a rarity that usually happens when a provider moves away, retires, etc.
I know this may sound crazy, but with some providers it isn't really about the money. Oh sure, money serves a lifestyle enabling function. But the amount a given provider collects from me is just a blip in her yearly budget. I might see a given lady for an actual session involving sex three times a year. She sure ain't gonna retire on that.
But even at that, in between sessions there will be other things like the stuff listed above. Or it may simply be mutually interesting discussions.
There's one provider that I haven't seen for a sex session since February, and she calls me practically every day. I've been over to help her with a few legal issues and stuff, or to exchange books that we discuss. I've set her up on some civie dates here and there, visited her parents, and she has visited my family to teach some stuff.
Do you think, when I next join her for sex, it will simply be so I can pay her money so I can fix some sort of guilt? Or do you think she genuinely knows that I hold her in high regard as a person? Do you think her awareness of that might affect her?
She knows I value her. And it shows up in the sex when it occurs. Last year I saw her a lot more frequently -- I paid her as my sex instructor. The last three times I saw her, it was so phenomenal I could barely even think for a week afterwards.
So ... here it is now September. I haven't seen her for a session since February. But since then we've done a lot of non-hobby stuff together like visiting each other's families, etc. Money is not the basis for this.
I feel good about myself as-is. I'm a chronic overachiever in a bunch of different realms. I'm happy, healthy, and stacking up success after success in a lot of endeavors.
I really don't need a woman to confirm to me my own value; especially not a situation where the woman is being paid. I'm already a man of unbreached self esteem and a guy can't gain real worth by paying a provider.
But I'll tell you where some women come in mighty handy: as confirmation of the benevolent universe premise through the manifestation of their various virtues. The world can be a pretty nasty and depressing place sometimes. And there are ladies out there that just knowing them makes the world brighter.
Incidentally, of the stuff I listed above, it should be understood that isn't always a one-way-street. I have had providers do some pretty impressive things that have vastly improved the quality of my life and even that of family members.
It may be that I still can't get this point across as I intend, to convey the meaning. Maybe you'd have to stand in my shoes. Or maybe, the way that can be put into words is not the true way.
Either way, your amateur psychoanalysis is interesting but might possibly reflect projection of what your motivations would be; but don't reflect mine.
I don't blame you for trying though. I'm a bit of a strange bird and don't readily fit into pre-conceived categories.