Share employment info with provider

Currently without any reference, but verified through P411. If a reputable lady (based on TER review over a year) asked for employment info for verification (she is on P411, but still asked for it), would you be comfortable providing the info?

I am still kind of hesitating.

Thanks Originally Posted by bluefantasy

I don’t believe there is any single “right” formula for screening—but there are wrong ones. It all depends upon your situation and hers. The whole purpose of screening is safety and comfort for both people—and everyone has a different set of criteria to be comfortable.

Employment information is something that matters very much for some people—they have a security clearance or a boss who is a hard line moral conservative—but not a big issue for others—self employed. Or in a situation where their boss really doesn’t care what a guy does off the job. Personally, I have never given my work info out, largely because I never have had to in order to see a lady I really wanted to meet.

By the same logic, each lady is different. Basic P411 screening might indicate a guy is not LE, but that “indication” might be enough for some ladies, not enough for others. Add in one or two specific ladies’ Oks and now more will feel comfortable seeing that guy. How many is enough? There is no right answer, it all depends on the lady and her experiences, etc. It may also depend on who the references are from. I saw a lady once who wanted three references, but I only had one available at the time—but it was her sister, and that was quite sufficient to make her feel comfortable. Just as I trust reviews from some guys more than I trust reviews from a guy I know nothing about, the same is true for the ladies.

Finally, the other reason some will want specific OKs, not just a general P411 OK, is because they are interested in more than just “is he LE?” There are a lot worse things than running into legal issues, and sometimes P411’s screening doesn’t identify that. Additionally, some ladies—especially those who do this as a second job—want more than safe, they want some level of “I want to enjoy him as well”, and for them it’s important to be able to talk with another lady and ask some specific things.

Hope this helps a little. Bottom line is never give out info that you are not comfortable giving out. Keep looking—there will be ladies whose comfort level is compatible with your own. And as others have said, if she doesn’t screen at all it’s probably in YOUR best interest to skip her.

I don’t believe there is any single “right” formula for screening—but there are wrong ones. It all depends upon your situation and hers. The whole purpose of screening is safety and comfort for both people—and everyone has a different set of criteria to be comfortable. Originally Posted by Old-T

Exactly! If you are going to screen through employment ALONE:

• Do not trust the number he gives you. Google the number for XYZ Company.
• You absolutely must, must speak to them on the land line from work. If you don’t them on the first try and they call you back, hang up and call them back. Because if he’s LE, and just security for a facility, chances are he won’t have a specific phone extension.
• He must also be Googlable as Mr. So-in-So affiliated with XYZ Company.
• Ask him if he can talk on the land line or to call you back on his cell and ask him a few questions about the company whilst you’re looking at the webpage.
• Or from the Google search you’ll know what department he’s in. If he’s the Engineering Department’s manager, call up and ask for the Engineering Department’s admin. Get her name, and then when you talk to him ask him what he name is or something similar.
• To be truly safe, it must be a large employer with a large presence on the web and in the community though I had some pretty trade craft procedures so I was comfortable with smaller employers.

That said, if I was a guy, I'd never let anyone call my employer. I'd see someone newbie friendly and move forward like that.

Personally I use the employment along with 1ref as option of screening
As I usually tell the gent it need to be verifiable
I know my ex agency boss would call work or other ladies would with telling the gent how they would communicate
Work employment can permit me to see you aren't LE but doesn't tell me if you are crazy or dangerous the reason I require both for that options

I'm fully aware that some aren't comfortable with that option the reason I offer the others

3 references of well establish ladies..why 3..one could recently have been busted but 3 is very rare
Or be part of verification service such as date-check preferred 411 which aren't full proof and sometime doesn't tell you much about possible bad behaviors
And roomservice2000

Personally your personal info that you may provided doesn't interest me
I want to make sure you are t LE or a crazy or bad person that is all
Vj

Exactly! If you are going to screen through employment ALONE:

• Do not trust the number he gives you. Google the number for XYZ Company.
• You absolutely must, must speak to them on the land line from work. If you don’t them on the first try and they call you back, hang up and call them back. Because if he’s LE, and just security for a facility, chances are he won’t have a specific phone extension.
• He must also be Googlable as Mr. So-in-So affiliated with XYZ Company.
• Ask him if he can talk on the land line or to call you back on his cell and ask him a few questions about the company whilst you’re looking at the webpage.
• Or from the Google search you’ll know what department he’s in. If he’s the Engineering Department’s manager, call up and ask for the Engineering Department’s admin. Get her name, and then when you talk to him ask him what he name is or something similar.
• To be truly safe, it must be a large employer with a large presence on the web and in the community though I had some pretty trade craft procedures so I was comfortable with smaller employers.

That said, if I was a guy, I'd never let anyone call my employer. I'd see someone newbie friendly and move forward like that. Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

One of my hobby rules is never divulge any personnel information. Getting my rocks off is not worth the headaches that could follow. Just the way I roll.

P411 with refs is good enough. I agree she has that right and I prefer my gals to screen but I don't need an interrogation. I wouldn't give it up.
I had one ask my social, is gonna say Le on social, I responded would you like my bank account information too?



Nevertheless never saw her and read some bad reviews on her shortly after.
If you have not so good feeling on screening and anything else. Go with you gut and move on.
I have never given out any personal info and I don't see the need to.

P411 with refs is good enough. I agree she has that right and I prefer my gals to screen but I don't need an interrogation. I wouldn't give it up.
I had one ask my social, is gonna say Le on social, I responded would you like my bank account information too?

Nevertheless never saw her and read some bad reviews on her shortly after.
If you have not so good feeling on screening and anything else. Go with you gut and move on.
I have never given out any personal info. Originally Posted by fine dimes21

He says p411 without references..quite honestly p411 without okays is useless ..as it's the all point

I joined P411 initially because the Asian provider I wanted to see preferred P411 verification. I had to give more than my employment information to get verified with P411. Then I contacted her back and she was newbie friendly but she still needed to verify my employment. Once that was done I was good to go. Once I got my 1st ok everything has been easier. The hardest part is getting started. From initial contact with JJ to actual appointment was about a month. But it was worth it and there has not been any problems for me with giving out my information they needed. But that is a personal choice only you can decide. I am only answering your question that I did give out the information and I have not had any problems. Also JJ has been around and well established with all excellent and current reviews and I felt like she was a professional and concerned with maintaining a good business, therefore I had no problem giving her the information she requested. I made the right decision for myself and I have no regrets.

So I am going to quote myself quoting them:

The drawback they note is that a self employed small businesswoman in the sex business "has no one but herself to screen potential clients and ensure they wouldn't beat her up or rip her off." The solution adopted by the single Chicago escort (originally from Texas) they focus on was:
"When a new client contacted her online,she wouldn't book an appointment until she had secured his real name and his work telephone number. Then she'd call the morning of their date, ostensibly just to say how excited she was to meet him."
"But the call also acknowledged she could reach him at will and, if something were to go wrong, she could storm his office." Assuming she survived the going wrong part, of course. That strategy creates a mutual vulnerability to offset the inherent vulnerability of working naked and alone with a stranger who is bigger and stronger than one's self.

It amounts to asking the Customer Guy to hand over a vulnerability of his own to offset the vulnerability she experiences by working naked and alone with a unknown member of the sex that is far more violent than her own. That is, to be able to say "I know where you work". Not getting murdered is LOT more important than not getting arrested. Sex workers face an aggregate murder rate that is much higher than just about anyone else:

“active prostitutes were almost 18 times more likely to be murdered than women of similar age and race during the study interval.”
quoted from http://aje.oxfordjournals.org/content/159/8/778.full

Which appears to be the only available serious study and which somehow made a Crude Mortality Rate from homicide that was 42 TIMES that of the general population shrink down to a Standardized Mortality Rate that was Only 17.7 times the general rate, I know not how.

Ideally one would like to know a lot more, such as the difference between "indoor sex work" using Internet based advertising and negotiations and "outdoor" street walking or between those that screen and those that do not. But the studies to develop that information haven't been done. Any academic who studies sex work like another business/occupation risks his or her reputation since the Anti-Sex League will attack. So it is Onward Into the Fog without radar for the women in the business, each one taking their best guess about how not to get murdered.

Customer Guys that do not want to cooperate in reducing a sex worker's danger mostly do not want to talk about how hazardous sex work is since it makes their "privacy concerns"/ obsession with hiding from their wives seem petty.

So, if you can't risk the little lady finding out, you will have to work around the providers of sexual services who can't risk taking a chance that you might turn out to be a psychopath. Seems fair enough.

I'm not "working around" a hyper paranoid provider who wants my real life info, it's a buyer's market not the other way around.

Get p411, see like 2 newbie friendly providers and get okays, then screening is nonexistent for the vast vast majority. No point whatsoever in exposing yourself to any privacy invasion other than p411 verification.

Yes the pickings are slim for newbie friendly providers, consider it an investment in your hobbying future, you'll be glad you did.

I'm not "working around" a hyper paranoid provider who wants my real life info, it's a buyer's market not the other way around. Originally Posted by SpiceItUp

Whenever someone wants to insist "it's a buyer's market", or "it's a seller's market" in this business they seriously over simplify. This is not a single homogeneous market. The guys who scour BP rarely are the same guys who only look for well reviewed multi-hour dinner dates. It may be a buyer's market where you shop, but there are plenty of areas complaining the supply is too small and therefor the prices too high.

It all depends.

As to "working around a paranoid provider", there are probably an equal percentage of off-the-deep-end clients.

Whenever someone wants to insist "it's a buyer's market", or "it's a seller's market" in this business they seriously over simplify. This is not a single homogeneous market. The guys who scour BP rarely are the same guys who only look for well reviewed multi-hour dinner dates. It may be a buyer's market where you shop, but there are plenty of areas complaining the supply is too small and therefor the prices too high.

It all depends.

As to "working around a paranoid provider", there are probably an equal percentage of off-the-deep-end clients. Originally Posted by Old-T

Yes it's an over simplification, I simply mean that there are plenty of fish in the sea with less onerous requirements. I've been hobbying for upwards of 15 years in many places in the US and abroad. So trust me when I say that anyone who thinks there's a supply shortage at any time simply isn't looking in the right place. As to price well that's a different variable outside the scope of this conversation don't you think?

Of course there are off the deep end clients don't take my comments out of context. I'm suggesting skip the small percentage of women who want p411 with okays plus additional job screening. If p411 isn't used in your area then use one of the other verification methods, the concept still applies. Zero reason to give out personal information.

It's been discussed pretty thoroughly already, but I can't resist throwing in my own two cents. (Owners of wishing pools love me.)

For newbies or those who haven't indulged in a while, I do ask for employment info. I don't at all prefer it to references. I'd much rather have references/Okays! But if that's not possible, employment info it is. I also don't actually give a damn who you are in the Real World, just that you are the person you say you are. Cog in the wheel? Supermega exec? I really do not care as long as you actually are who you claim to be.

That said -- please please please, use caution when giving out your info. Research the lady you want to see as much as she's going to research you. If you're uncomfortable with anything you find (or if you can't find anything that says she has a good reputation/history), don't do it!

It's been discussed pretty thoroughly already, but I can't resist throwing in my own two cents. (Owners of wishing pools love me.)

For newbies or those who haven't indulged in a while, I do ask for employment info. I don't at all prefer it to references. I'd much rather have references/Okays! But if that's not possible, employment info it is. I also don't actually give a damn who you are in the Real World, just that you are the person you say you are. Cog in the wheel? Supermega exec? I really do not care as long as you actually are who you claim to be.

That said -- please please please, use caution when giving out your info. Research the lady you want to see as much as she's going to research you. If you're uncomfortable with anything you find (or if you can't find anything that says she has a good reputation/history), don't do it! Originally Posted by Carrie Hillcrest

Great input and I love your journal/blog. I'm going to take some time out tomorrow to read it all! Funny and so well written!

I love the comment about you looking better than your photos...LOL