Lady has a meltdown.

It's easy to say....oh, just go get a desk job....or find another profession.

Reality is........NO PROFESSION out there will take you on and pay what this occupation does........unless you have 1, 2 or 3 degrees.

Girls get stuck.....with the cash they can make....the freedom....and the party attitude.

If you take this occupation seriously (like I do)....and treat it like a business, then good things can happen. You pay your bills on time....you advertise and keep your website and photos current......you return emails in a timely manner.......you cater to your best clients and keep them coming back.........yada yada yada.
Yeah....it's a lot of work, and when we get up in the morning....not all days are we gung ho to conquer the world....but we do the best we can.

I guess what I'm saying is......girls need to understand that they get out of this business what they put into it. The way you present yourself has much to do with what you attract and how it will leave you feeling in the end.

Some gals.......I think are a bit too emotionally immature to take it on and understand it. Thereby, they are allowed to have breakdowns now and again. They will decide in time....whether this occupation is FOR THEM.....or NOT. Hopefully they will make the right move when they are enlightened with THE TRUTH.

Hercules - don't feel responsible for her wellbeing....uh...unless you want to "adopt" her. She has much to consider being that she has to "make a living" and for some reason she is trying to make you feel responsible?
I will say that I've had clients who have helped me out in the past, and it was only by their own kindness and good will. It was not that I got pissed because they were visiting another provider and paying her more money. If she is in a bad spot....she should address it with a little more couth, without YOU feeling guilty.

Hugs,
Torre T

Prostitution is not a victimless crime.

You played a part, but are not wholly responsible.

If you cannot live with it or come up with some rationalizations you can use to live with it, don't do it.

Prostitution is not a victimless crime.

You played a part, but are not wholly responsible.

If you cannot live with it or come up with some rationalizations you can use to live with it, don't do it. Originally Posted by cpi3000

With the utmost respect, I have to disagree with part of that. True, prostitution is not a victimless crime in SOME cases, but in the case he described, I disagree that he was responsible at all. If you go see a dentist for years, paying him for the service he is offering, and then one day find out that he HATES being a dentist, do you feel like an enabler? Do you feel responsible for his predicament? Of course not. You simply opted into the service he was offering. You are most certainly NOT at fault for his life choices. Hercules had no reason to feel guilty here.

Now had he manipulated her into making such a choice, then he could bear some responsibility. But, in this particular situation, in my mind he is not responsible for any bit of her present feelings.

Was chatting with a lady I've known for years. Talking about how I was thinking of offerring a "civie" gal $$$. Not only did she discourage me from doing it but she went into meltdown about where she is now. Started crying first about how much stress this business has taken on her. Then she got PISSED. "I always did good in school! Had good grades and dreams. Then I started stripping, next thing I know I'm a fuckin whore"!!!

What's bothering me is I was one of her first clients and now feel guilty because all this time I believed I was helping her out by being a "good client". But now feel I was part of entrenching her in something she now despises.

When I first met this gal she said she would only do this for a few years then get out. Sound familiar to some of you gals? Originally Posted by Hercules

You did not make the decision for her to be in this business, you simply paid for a service she was offering. Lots of girls in this business got good grades in school and more than you might think are college graduates and even mainstream careers. If a girl plays her cards right, she can use this business as at stepping stone to where she wants to be in the future.

Some girls do not have what it takes to be in this business and you are not responsible for that either.

I blame Hercules for being a good customer.

I agree with many of the sentiments in this post, particularly EW's first post and the post of Torre Tames (hope I got that name right. Sad that I can't remember anything beyond 5 seconds.)

This is a slippery slope. Not all the ladies are mature enough for this profession. Not all men are kind and respectful of these ladies. You can make an argument that you enabled her, but chances are she was heading down this road whether you rode with her or not.

I think the one thing we owe these ladies beyond the normal (hygiene, no haggling, etc) is to treat them with respect and dignity. Whether they choose to do this or life's circumstances left them little choice is irrelevant. How you treat a person is all about you. Has nothing to do with them, what they do for a living, how much money they are worth, etc.

Sounds like you've treated this young lady well through the years. Like EW, I think it may say something about your relationship that she felt comfortable enough to express her misgivings to you and that you were kind enough to listen. Maybe it affects the way you see her now and will inhibit you from wanting to see her. That's ok, too.

Wow, thats a tuff spot to be in. That sucks. I bet the look on your face (while she was venting) was priceless.

Sounds like"
(a) she may need a hug or some anti-depressants
(b) she is unhappy with herself and her life choices
(c) she may need to reconsider being in the hobby - if you don't truly enjoy it - MOVE ALONG.
(d) she may have wanted you to give HER that $$$ instead of some random civi gal.

I once knew a girl like this. She despised the hobby, yet she was a provider. Instead of it actually making her feel sexy, it made her feel dirty. She would talk so much trash about it, to me, that finally I had to finally just tell her, "If you don't like it, then CHANGE IT". (I think she was waiting on someone to come on rescue her, but that is a Richard Gere/Julia Roberts fantasy.) There ARE always OTHER options...I heard Palm Beach Tan is hiring. LOL, no but honestly...No one FORCES the providers to be providers (well, err, unless they have a pimp or something, LOL). Alot of ladies pull that same line on alot of guys trying to get them to feel sorry for them...(sigh) and apparently it works for alot of the girls. Im just not geared like that. That's not how I roll, and I will never understand it.

You've helped her through all of the times you've seen her, she just sounds like she needs a break...or another hobby. Don't get down on yourself for helping her. People always have the decision to change, if they truly want different results. Shame on her for weighing you down with HER baggage.


XOXO
ItalianaPrincess Originally Posted by ItalianaPrincess

You took the words out of my mouth. I have a friend just like the lady you know. The lady from the OP sounds just like her. She's beautiful and has a gorgeous body, and always thought that would either get her what she wanted or get her the man she needed. She doesn't have a business savvy mind, so her understanding of her worth is just embarrassing. She's too old to be where she was in 1995 mentally, and she's begging me to help her get started down this path. But neither her work ethic, mentality, nor her personality is up to par, and I refuse to volunteer to be her pimp and put my reputation on the line.

I will be glad when women learn to separate escorting from their personal lives. What I mean by that is realizing
1. the damsel in distress role is TIRED and should be REtired. Calling guys cause the 'light bill needs paying' is so 1980. Men like women who are constantly learning and growing to improve their situation.
2. our clients don't HAVE to see us. If he decides to find someone new, you're supposed to have two more waiting to take his place. I have literally heard a lady cussing out a regular client because he missed their bi-weekly appointment. They are not your boyfriends. They don't owe you any loyalty AT ALL.
3. as with any business, evolution is necessary. You have to adjust for losing clients and gaining new ones. The wost thing is meeting a lady that's so busy she is no fun to be with, or a lady so slow that she has lowered her values to where she doesn't even feel good about providing the service.

I cannot stress self-assessment and self-improvement enough. If school's not for you, MAKE it for you. If 9-5's not for you, MAKE IT FOR YOU. (everyone knows I'm not talking about any one person, right? If this applies to you, I hope you accept it in good faith, and channel the anger you feel about what been said in this post to take the steps you need to make life better) I have always said, you can't break someone who wasn't already broken. If I could say anything to a young lady trying to enter into this business, it's not to do it out of desperation. As it's been pointed out, prostitution is just work, and the industry can't be judged as a whole. Unless one is under aged, or forced, every person involved has a choice of participating or not.

To the OP, I know it makes you feel like you've been taking advantage of a lady, but she chose this life for herself. There is nothing you can do about her feelings.

All the best to you!

maria, traci, Sexi Kenni, Italiana Princess, chelsea, Elisabeth, Torre, Becca, and Tiffani,

thanks to each one of you for posting your compassionate and wonderful thoughts on what little we know of Hercules' experience. i imagine that it is wisdom gained from your experiences in this sub-culture of ours as well as life in general.
i applaud each of you!!



hercules,

have you ever wondered if she would have had that "meltdown" if you hadnt talked about how you were "thinking of offerring a "civie" gal $$$."" ?? it might have been the straw that broke her camel's back. or she was just waiting for the next person she was with to unload/vent.

in any case, in a way, your initial visits with her were a part of her decision to take the path she chose. but SHE chose that path, not you. and only she can choose where she wants to go now. she is not your charge, you are not her guardian. you can lend a shoulder for her to cry on, acknowledge her pain, and an ear to hear more. but it's her decision. and having learned that many women just want us guys to listen to their situations/problems and not solve them, i wouldnt give her any advice or suggestions unless she asked.

My breakdown of this is rather simplistic, but is proven correct time and time again.

1. It doesn't take any kind of strength to get into this business. Many ladies find themselves just falling into it by default.... But, that leads to number 2

2. It takes a strong woman to stay in this business. Its a lot for some women. Being organized, being clean, staying out of trouble, danger, stress, being continually critiqued by others.... BUT--

3. It takes an even stronger, smarter woman to walk away. Its tough to walk away from the money and freedom that this profession offers. The smart and strong ones are the ones who either invest in a retirement fund, an education, or both-- so that they can get out when its time to go.

most most excellent summary, december!!! most excellent.