Expectations of your date?? (Male & female)

The OP specifically stated date. There is a difference between a date and a session as some have noted. I love finding a provider who makes it possible to have a date rather than just a session. Even after repeated dates with such a provider each new one is a brand new experience. Repeated dates are time for YUMV in a good way.

Since I am definately a senior citizen a date makes me feel like a young man again, at least for a while. A session makes me feel like an old man who experienced a blessed relief.

Thank you. You got what I was saying.

As there's a difference between a date & a *session*. And some of the responses definitely show the difference between the two.

Those going in for a session, yes will have expectations of what they expect to have bcd, based on the reviews etc.
Those who enjoy dates. Do so, to truly enjoy the person, beyond just the sexual.

The OP specifically stated date. There is a difference between a date and a session as some have noted. I love finding a provider who makes it possible to have a date rather than just a session. Even after repeated dates with such a provider each new one is a brand new experience. Repeated dates are time for YUMV in a good way.

Since I am definately a senior citizen a date makes me feel like a young man again, at least for a while. A session makes me feel like an old man who experienced a blessed relief. Originally Posted by Bull149

Wicked, You know that there are those hard-hearted cynics who sneer at the concept of a hobby date. They think it as an illusion found only in the minds of saps and suckers.

Their views don't affect me. I want the tone and atmosphere of a date, even if it's confined to 60 minutes and a hotel room.

Spontaneity is greatly desired but it comes about because the daters follow certain rules and conventions and this is where my expectations come into play. For example I expect that you will give me your complete attention which means no cell phones, TV or other distractions. I also expect you to be prepared with a clean, orderly room, hopefully with candles and subdued lighting (but not too dark; I want to enjoy your beauty).

I want you to be dressed and dolled up for date. I want sexy clothes; I adore nice lingerie and your hair and make up should reflect that you care.

I expect you to be engaged in the date and at least feign enthusiasm with great conviction. I want you to be a good conversationalist and have a good head on your shoulders, but advanced degrees aren't required.

Finally, I want you to be fun. We only have an hour or two or three so let's make each other happy. Is that so hard?

Now, if you bring these basics to the date, I promise to be prompt, scrupulously clean, well-mannered, reasonably skilled and respectful. When two adults combine those elements great things happen in a natural, spontaneous and pleasing manner and everyone goes home happy.

Thank you. You got what I was saying.

As there's a difference between a date & a *session*. And some of the responses definitely show the difference between the two.

Those going in for a session, yes will have expectations of what they expect to have bcd, based on the reviews etc.
Those who enjoy dates. Do so, to truly enjoy the person, beyond just the sexual. Originally Posted by Wicked Milf

You could then say I had a date with my ATF last Saturday because we just had lunch and talked. I would say though in the context of this forum Date = Session most of the time.

Wicked, You know that there are those hard-hearted cynics who sneer at the concept of a hobby date. They think it as an illusion found only in the minds of saps and suckers.

Their views don't affect me. I want the tone and atmosphere of a date, even if it's confined to 60 minutes and a hotel room.

Spontaneity is greatly desired but it comes about because the daters follow certain rules and conventions and this is where my expectations come into play. For example I expect that you will give me your complete attention which means no cell phones, TV or other distractions. I also expect you to be prepared with a clean, orderly room, hopefully with candles and subdued lighting (but not too dark; I want to enjoy your beauty).

I want you to be dressed and dolled up for date. I want sexy clothes; I adore nice lingerie and your hair and make up should reflect that you care.

I expect you to be engaged in the date and at least feign enthusiasm with great conviction. I want you to be a good conversationalist and have a good head on your shoulders, but advanced degrees aren't required.

Finally, I want you to be fun. We only have an hour or two or three so let's make each other happy. Is that so hard?

Now, if you bring these basics to the date, I promise to be prompt, scrupulously clean, well-mannered, reasonably skilled and respectful. When two adults combine those elements great things happen in a natural, spontaneous and pleasing manner and everyone goes home happy. Originally Posted by awl4knot

Beautifully put. I agree.

Wicked Milf, you understand what I feel. I like sex don't get me wrong but I adore intimacy. I have been on session/dates as well. An example of intimacy to me is:

Recently I was arguing with a lady friend of mine, we adore each other very much, we spend lots of time together, most of the time we are together we are not bcd, but that occurs as well. We were sitting together and she spontaneously grabbed my hand intertwined our fingers and rested her head on my shoulder as a gesture to say "Outdoorsman, you are important to me." That is intimacy and to me by far better than any sex. When those moments occur the sex that follows is usually so much better.

When I can talk, laugh, and simply enjoy the lady I am with for her being her and she is into me, that is intimacy on a level sex can never attain, for me. And trust me I can tell the difference in a session she is acting on a date she is not.

Awl4knot, superbly stated. Outdoorsman, when the moments of intimacy happen, as they do, in the hobby setting the generally melt into memorable love making as opposed to mere sex. Such is not the norm in the hobby however, at least from my experience.

Anytime I research ahead of time and choose who I'd like to spend time with I'll make sure that even what I've read....is always YMMV...

I go into every meeting with absolutely no expectation. I want the date to be as spontaneous as it can be. I've enjoyed meeting Ladies in chat and on the boards, and although I'm not one who carries on a lot of idle chit chat by phone prior, I'll seldom ever mention about our date.
When I meet a Lady I want to be excited and feel the butterflies as I did at 15.

In the event the choice either of us made isn't the greatest, ( seldom EVER happens ) and we don't "click" I'll always be a Southern Gentleman.

I'm brand new here so please forgive my butting in on this topic... but I just wanted to say that this is a very interesting discussion!
When it comes to the session vs date, I'd prefer a date every time. It gives me the opportunity to feel as though I'm really making someone happy and showing them a good time, and that's important to me.
My only expectation is that the gentleman I meet carries himself as a gentleman. I enjoy taking care of the rest and making sure he has a great time. I'm happy when he's leaving saying "wow".

I'm brand new here so please forgive my butting in on this topic... but I just wanted to say that this is a very interesting discussion!
When it comes to the session vs date, I'd prefer a date every time. It gives me the opportunity to feel as though I'm really making someone happy and showing them a good time, and that's important to me.
My only expectation is that the gentleman I meet carries himself as a gentleman. I enjoy taking care of the rest and making sure he has a great time. I'm happy when he's leaving saying "wow". Originally Posted by DeLaine

You should add dinner dates to your menu..It's always fun to have a night out in town before the session begins.

You should add dinner dates to your menu..It's always fun to have a night out in town before the session begins. Originally Posted by hobbyprojb

Oh I do dinner dates. That's some of the most fun I've had.

If you looking for anything personal from a session with a provider your just fooling yourself. They are in the fantasy business. It's ok we all like that but get your real shit outside the hobby. I go to dinner with a real date. I only kiss with a real date. Now don't get me wrong ladies I love most of you. I just hate for guys to try to get real connection out of a paid relationship. It ain't happening. IJS

If you looking for anything personal from a session with a provider your just fooling yourself. They are in the fantasy business. It's ok we all like that but get your real shit outside the hobby. I go to dinner with a real date. I only kiss with a real date. Now don't get me wrong ladies I love most of you. I just hate for guys to try to get real connection out of a paid relationship. It ain't happening. IJS Originally Posted by burkalini

I will agree completely with you that LOOKING for anything personal from a session is foolish.

I will agree that your choice not to go to dinner or kiss is your choice and if that works for you, great.

But to say finding a personal connection or real intimacy doesn't actually happen at times is seriously incorrect. There are several ladies with whom I have experienced it (tough never while looking fr it from either side). I also know some ladies whose sessions became a long lasting happy marriage.

Why is is to hard for people NOT to go from "it has never happened to me" and generalize to "it can't happen!"?

Those who enjoy dates. Do so, to truly enjoy the person, beyond just the sexual. Originally Posted by Wicked Milf

That is precisely why we usually arrange for a very open ended meeting with the few ladies I see on a recurring basis. We have basically a start time when I pick her up and we usually know where we will start--be it a dinner, a show, hanging out at the park for a while, etc., and have no idea where it will wind up. The unplanned nature of it--along with te freedom to do what we feel like doing rather than doing what is "expected" from a script is a lot of what allows such dates to be special.

Some have lasted a few hours, others have wound up being overnights. Most have become sexual along the way, some have remained at the senual level only. One of the best evenings involved no clothes being removed because we were having too much fun just to stop and have sex that night.

Another evening with the same lady was supposed to be a quick OTC dinner and Christmas shopping (I was supposed to be the present carrying mule). Instead she got increadibly arroused walking past the Victoria's Secret window she whispered in my ear "I can go shopping tomorrow--right now I need to rip your cothes off" and the evening turned into her using my body shamelessly for her wonton desires until I fainted from the humiliation.

Once a level of mutual friendship and mutual trust has been attained dates are the vastly preferred way to go.

But to say finding a personal connection or real intimacy doesn't actually happen at times is seriously incorrect. There are several ladies with whom I have experienced it (tough never while looking fr it from either side). I also know some ladies whose sessions became a long lasting happy marriage.

Why is is to hard for people NOT to go from "it has never happened to me" and generalize to "it can't happen!"? Originally Posted by Old-T

Absolutely Old-T, it can and does happen. Certainly has for me, more than a couple times. While this is a business for the ladies, it is also the most personal thing two people can do with each other. Only a fool would think that there could never be any personal connections and sparks, from both sides, on occasion.