I don't *get* caught. My fiancée is a) very accepting of the wife / mistress thing and b) out of the country now and has been for months taking care of her Mami < don't *get* me started on the "standards" of Colombian healthcare > and c) and has approved each young lady I have ever played with since we were together.
The only possible gotcha has been "does she < random sex act > better than me?" Since I don't do most of those things when I play, I can honestly tell her "no."
No offense meant to any of my recent playmates.