What is the definition of BFE?

Thank you, GP, for being the first to actually make a serious attempt at answering my question. I agree with you. It's about treating her as a woman and not as a piece of meat.

The fact that I am leaving something in the envelope doesn't mean she doesn't want to be romanced and treated like a lady.

But some other responses on this thread show that not all providers deserve to be treated as a lady. And others show that not all hobbyists are capable of being gentlemen. Originally Posted by Texas Playboy

Very, very, very well said. Even though some people think that women don't like "nice men," I believe that to be nonsense. It has been my experience that the geeky, gentlemanly guys are the ones I tend to become infatuated with.

The BFE, for me, is much like what I consider the GFE to be for you guys. I feel as though, for that hour, the guy is after a little piece of my heart as opposed to just a piece of...well...you know...

Sometimes these BFE feelings come from kind words. Sometimes they come from gifts. Sometimes they come simply from a genuine interest in what I have to say. Anything that makes me feel like more than a piece of meat can contribute to my BFE. Also, just for the record, I do not require a list of activities to apply this label.

The BFE, for me, is much like what I consider the GFE to be for you guys. I feel as though, for that hour, the guy is after a little piece of my heart as opposed to just a piece of...well...you know...

Sometimes these BFE feelings come from kind words. Sometimes they come from gifts. Sometimes they come simply from a genuine interest in what I have to say. Anything that makes me feel like more than a piece of meat can contribute to my BFE. Also, just for the record, I do not require a list of activities to apply this label. Originally Posted by China Doll

LMAO..

The differences between men and women are vast.. aren't they?

My SO.......Does it all, and then some.

My SO.......Does it all, and then some. Originally Posted by DallasRain

I have been very lucky with men as well. My boyfriends have always done these things for me, and I am a giver as well.

For me BFE in the hobby is sort of exhausting all means of possible satisfaction for the provider as she is doing for me. Could be something so simple as giving her a long through massage during session to just matching her sexual prowess BCD and being more intune to what she likes. And it definitely presents incentive when both parties do this to some degree. Especially for me.

Have an actual intelligent conversation for once that wasn't always about sex.........

Too late, he screened and paid and knows its inevitable that night at least. lol Originally Posted by Guilty Pleasures

AN OLD HOBBY FART's GUIDE TO CRAFTING THE ULTIMATE BFE OUTCALL

1) Have some personal hygiene with a focus on being intimate--wash everything at least twice--use soap and water, you goat

2) Light a candle or two--lighting effects mood and aroma is important.

3) Have some refreshments and snacks on hand--do some research, find out and remember what she likes

4) Have clean bath linens for her, and have some neutral bath gel or soap that does not smell like a hotel on hand--even better find out and remember what she likes and maybe even have some mouthwash and other toiletries available

5) Chocolate. Let me say that again: C-H-O-C-O-L-A-T-E Get the good kind with a high Cacao content.

6) Massage Oil. It does not have to be grape seed oil. There are all sorts out there, once again, she may have a preference. I had one regular provider that loved the scent of Luv's Baby Soft--whatever they like--use it--or at least make it available if they feel like getting a massage as foreplay or afterglow.

7) Music sets a mood and makes it less like a htel room--especially if the room you have has the squeaking bedsprings and thin walls--which by the way can occur even in a more expensive hotel room--have some mood music. Even better if it is a playlist you know and can use to watch the clock, without watching the clock. Overt time management on our part is just as unattractive to them as it is to us when they do it.

8) Add some personal thought and flair to your session. Do something that separates you from the other hobbyists. Be the guy that she knows is a guaranteed to be a "whistle while you work" session.

9) Add something to the white envelope. It does not have to be a tip. It can be a small gift or token--or even put the donation in a card--this is more about thought than substance.

10) Manners--sure somebody above mentioned the whole bad boy thing, but that is a bit of a misnomer. What women really want is a dangerous man capable of being a teddy bear--they want both. The attraction to the bad boy is strictly biological in origin. They want the full package--a mate that can defend them, obtain sustenance, be virile/sexual, and meet their emotional needs. You don't have to actually do that--just provide that illusion, just like they do for us. Be their fantasy for an hour.

11) Be good in bed. Be as fit as you can be--at least stretch and do some cardio even if you can't be a stud or a model, be fit enough for sex. Read a book or two or take a class and learn about a woman's body. Then figure out how to subtly adjust and adapt those new skills to each individual woman--it does not always work exactly the same way with every woman.

12) Don't be an asshole. In other words, if you haven't even read this far, and have already posted some silly ass response about how you paid your money and you are going to fuck however you feel like fucking. . .you get the point. Even if you lean that way, try to suppress it. This sounds odd, but trust me, your session will ALWAYS be better if you get her off first. Even better if you can get her off more than once.

You can disagree, of course. My question to you, however, is why are you wasting your money? if you only care about your orgasm, why not just beat off? It is cheaper you know.

Tracey:

The hobby, if performed in a BFE/GFE way, combines the sure thing (i.e. taking all the suspense and nervousness about the outcome) with the excitement of being in a new, mutually smitten relationship. The BFE/GFE allows us to forget it is a business transaction, and when it's done correctly -- as you do, btw, Tracey -- it leaves both feeling as if the other REALLY wants to do it again, and for the human reasons, not the financial ones.

I can scarcely imagine the high that would come from a romantic vacation with you. That idea just blows my mind.

TX Playboy,

Well, ironically Ive never had a boyfriend who treats me anywhere as well as my clients do (!), but I'd consider the following actions from good clients to be BFE:

Take me on romantic or fun vacations, open the car door for me, be kind and considerate, listen and give fair and objective advice when I come to you for it, speak to me respectfully, and basically be chivalrous. Oh and get me off first Obviously GFE and BFE are probably much better than most providers and hobbyists have it in real life! Originally Posted by Tracey P

AN OLD HOBBY FART's GUIDE TO CRAFTING THE ULTIMATE BFE OUTCALL

1) Have some personal hygiene with a focus on being intimate--wash everything at least twice--use soap and water, you goat

2) Light a candle or two--lighting effects mood and aroma is important.

3) Have some refreshments and snacks on hand--do some research, find out and remember what she likes

4) Have clean bath linens for her, and have some neutral bath gel or soap that does not smell like a hotel on hand--even better find out and remember what she likes and maybe even have some mouthwash and other toiletries available

5) Chocolate. Let me say that again: C-H-O-C-O-L-A-T-E Get the good kind with a high Cacao content.

6) Massage Oil. It does not have to be grape seed oil. There are all sorts out there, once again, she may have a preference. I had one regular provider that loved the scent of Luv's Baby Soft--whatever they like--use it--or at least make it available if they feel like getting a massage as foreplay or afterglow.

7) Music sets a mood and makes it less like a htel room--especially if the room you have has the squeaking bedsprings and thin walls--which by the way can occur even in a more expensive hotel room--have some mood music. Even better if it is a playlist you know and can use to watch the clock, without watching the clock. Overt time management on our part is just as unattractive to them as it is to us when they do it.

8) Add some personal thought and flair to your session. Do something that separates you from the other hobbyists. Be the guy that she knows is a guaranteed to be a "whistle while you work" session.

9) Add something to the white envelope. It does not have to be a tip. It can be a small gift or token--or even put the donation in a card--this is more about thought than substance.

10) Manners--sure somebody above mentioned the whole bad boy thing, but that is a bit of a misnomer. What women really want is a dangerous man capable of being a teddy bear--they want both. The attraction to the bad boy is strictly biological in origin. They want the full package--a mate that can defend them, obtain sustenance, be virile/sexual, and meet their emotional needs. You don't have to actually do that--just provide that illusion, just like they do for us. Be their fantasy for an hour.

11) Be good in bed. Be as fit as you can be--at least stretch and do some cardio even if you can't be a stud or a model, be fit enough for sex. Read a book or two or take a class and learn about a woman's body. Then figure out how to subtly adjust and adapt those new skills to each individual woman--it does not always work exactly the same way with every woman.

12) Don't be an asshole. In other words, if you haven't even read this far, and have already posted some silly ass response about how you paid your money and you are going to fuck however you feel like fucking. . .you get the point. Even if you lean that way, try to suppress it. This sounds odd, but trust me, your session will ALWAYS be better if you get her off first. Even better if you can get her off more than once.

You can disagree, of course. My question to you, however, is why are you wasting your money? if you only care about your orgasm, why not just beat off? It is cheaper you know. Originally Posted by ANONONE

This should be made into a sticky note and put at the top of all the boards.

Anonone, this is great!! You really captured a lot of what makes the ladies purr!

Smell good, kiss good, shave your balls, wash your azz, don't be over 6 in., and actually get me off lol. Translation just in case...don't try to stick ANYTHING in me unless you have pre-heated the oven. That includes your dry, fat finger!

You're welcome...no tip needed lol. Originally Posted by London Rayne

I laughed so hard I cried London, especially the "wash your azz" part.

A lady friend from Birmingham who is now retired used to say all the time, "Wash your tail feathers guys."

Just brought back memories.

As far as my feelings on the subject go, I always thought BFE was if I went commando under my jeans, LOL

"Also, just for the record, I do not require a list of activities to apply this label. "

HAHAHAHA oh man! This made me laugh a good belly laugh!

China Doll, lets be honest, you know that the list would have to include bbdaty, cause cause anything else is just not BFE lol!

Glad to see you're back to posting lately.

I laughed so hard I cried London, especially the "wash your azz" part.

A lady friend from Birmingham who is now retired used to say all the time, "Wash your tail feathers guys."

Just brought back memories.

As far as my feelings on the subject go, I always thought BFE was if I went commando under my jeans, LOL Originally Posted by Abe Normal

One of the few men in TN no less who actually has a sense of humor lol. See you guys next week, and tell your brother I have a surprise for him.

"Also, just for the record, I do not require a list of activities to apply this label. "

HAHAHAHA oh man! This made me laugh a good belly laugh!

China Doll, lets be honest, you know that the list would have to include bbdaty, cause cause anything else is just not BFE lol!

Glad to see you're back to posting lately. Originally Posted by emann9er

Thanks, babe! And no, the list does not have to include DATY, because I never used to let my boyfriends do that.

Anyone up for SO experience?


Him --- Burping, farting, scratching his crotch and ass, ogling other ladies, forgetting his manners while with her, not listening to her, throw his clothes on the floor so she can pick them up, going to sleep as soon as he's popped, either pee all over the seat or leave the seat up after peed all over.

Her --- saying those endearing words --- “not tonight, I have a headache”, “I just started my period”, “okay, just hurry and finish”, “we need to talk”, “you never help out around here”, “we never go anywhere”, “put the seat down”. Seeing her in that comfy “house coat”. Her feet adorned by those special Dearfoams that look like bears.

Sooooo, finally making that special date. Taking her out to eat to that 5-star buffet - Golden Corral. She wears the jogging suit she bought 5 years ago, Crocs adorning her feet, asks a question when his mouth is full, hits him when he leans over to stare at the waitresses ass, tits...complains that he blew his nose in the linen napkin, glares at him while he's staring at the lady at the next table. She spends the entire time talking to her friend on her cell.



Back to the bfe -

Ladies, if a hobbiest truly gives you a wonderful bfe, be honest. Wouldn't it scare you?

I agree with Texas Playboy's comments above. For me the mental and emotional aspects are as important as the physical, so why not treat the lady the way you would like to be treated? It can only make the experience better for you both. That amount of thoughtfulness and effort applied to our other relationships outside the hobby world could only benefit them.

And btw, your right, a long vacation with Tracey would be heaven on earth.