Kind of a Protocol Question

Hello friends. ... She read my PM and looked up my p411 profile but never replied to my PM. So I kindly followed up with a second request a few hours later to she if she was available in my city and received no answer (again) sadly. ... I am thinking that maybe she saw something in my bio that she did not like. But wouldn't it have been polite to have replied that she was indisposed or not interested? .... Anyone else run into this or have some rules of thumb for a newbie to ensure I get a response next time? Originally Posted by RonnyBoy67

first of all, it's good that you are seeking for answers in this crazy mixed-up world of hobbying. there are some posts and stories, but there really isnt a guide book w/ all the answers. but, there are plenty of folks here who can provide an answer or experience. hope you get to where you want to go.

now, wrt the woman, all you know is that you havent received a response to your messages. you DONT know if SHE actually read them [could have been a booker, manager, friend]. you DONT know if she is or is not polite to respond. you DONT know why, if she did actually read it, she didnt respond or didnt like something in your message.
all you just know you havent received a response.
leave it at that and dont guess as to why. it'll be after the Big Crunch before you figure out.
[big crunch = http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Crunch]

so, now what to do??
Tiffani, ICU, RGVGFE, and LusciousLacy all posted great replies!!
some providers are like these women [not ICU] - considerate, organized, helpful. but some are not, for whatever reason. again, dont attempt to guess/figure out why.

Not making any excuses for her or anything, but depending on the time frame of the appointment time (sooner rather than later), and what she was doing at the time, she may not have been able to respond. If you were looking for something short notice, and were not able to respond that may be a reason.
...
There's honestly a multitude of reasons she didn't respond. On to the next one, darling. Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

I generally do not contact providers for the first time on the day I want a session. I Plan ahead a few days and contact 3-4 ladies. some do not respond for whatever reason. There is screening and schedualing. I can make a final plan with enough time (24 hrs) to cancel one or more without hard feelings. Originally Posted by ICU 812

I completely agree with Tiffani. My day schedule is extremely busy and even though I may read the message on my phone, it will take me several hours to respond. I usually don't respond until later in the evening when I get home and can use my own pc.

By the way, you should always have a back up plan. Originally Posted by RGVGFE

I know that when im touring... ill glance at my 411 pm's when they come in and often plan to respond once i arrive at my incall... Or if im touring and the request is for a later date in different city... ill respond when i get back home. ...

Id just move on to another lady. Unless youre a complete ass.. then i wouldnt take it personal. Originally Posted by LusciousLacy

so, my suggestions are [based on 11+ yrs in this sub-culture] ...
* for now, move on to another provider. there are so many that you WILL meet up with someone. and hopefully someone who will provide a deliteful and memorable encounter.

* if you really want to see that woman, contact her in a week or so. or ask guys in the various men's lounges if they know what's going on w/ her. sometimes, if she has a few "friends", they might know that she's off on vacation, taking care of family, feeling ill, or just taking a "fucking" break :^)

* if you really want to see someone, when you start planning, you can do as ICU posted - contact several women for an appt. it's not guaranteed, but it can help out.

for example, on aug 30, i sent out requests to several women for an appt the following week. one replied and said she couldnt cos of prior family plans [and with a very nice message, to boot!]. two have yet still to respond or click that they saw my p411 msg or my eccie pm. fortunately, i had contacted a 4th woman and saw her a few days later. it might have helped that i had visited her previously and had communicated w/ her the prior week.

but, it takes time and energy.
and if you dont have the patience or are not willing to go thru the communications back-and-forth, this aint the hobby for you.

... One last thought - I was prepared to offer her double her normal rate. As a follow-up question, How might that tactic be received by a provider? Originally Posted by RonnyBoy67

STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!!
in my opinion, if you do that, you tip your hand and probably will appear desperate. then she'll have all the cards and advantages. just agree to her normal fee and leave it at that.

would you go to any restaurant and say "i'll pay double if you give me a table NOW!"?? sure you might get a table, but do you think the service and food will be twice as good??

i would hope that if a great provider agreed to see you, she'd say "sweetie, that's more than enough. just pay my normal fee."
but a less than great provide might say "ohhhh yeah! another sucker!!!" and just go thru the motions.

one of the "tricks" to understand is she has something you want. but you have something she wants. and unless you are absolutely desperate to get what she has, you can always wait until the time is right. you are the consumer, not the fleecee!! patience wins, imho.

good luck to you in your searches and experiences.

Wow. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, PMDelites. I hope to buy you a beer/drink some day for the significant effort you put into helping me find my way with your detailed response. Everyone and especially you are making tons of sense. God bless...

Offering to double the rate will set off many bells and whistles. And not the good kind ...

Great responses from all - as others state DO NOT OFFER to DOUBLE the donation. If the lady has a website, go to the site. Ladies usually specify how to contact them - some are more specific than others. If truly interested in meeting a lady, follow the instructions. Having a P411 account makes meeting ladies easier, but you always follow up the initial contact(s) by following the ladies' instructions. Much in the same manner that we do our research, ladies, for their safety, screen. If our responses (as requested in her website) do not give her a "good vibe," they pass. Some ladies can be more selective than other - the lady that you wish to meet seem to fall into selective/exclusive category. Good luck in your endeavor to meet the lady of your desires.

Thanks everyone who took the time to chime in with your guidance... I am very appreciative.

Pmdelites - awesome post! As a newbie, I've done a lot of reading on the 'how to' to get started. I've pieced together most of what you stated from several other posts afterr hours and hours of reading. I've used some of it and I've learned a few things:

Newbies aren't favored by most providers. I thought that getting a verification, like P411 for example, would have the providers lining up to break in the newbie - not so. The referral from a known provider (that they know or respect) goes way farther.

In your case, the provider may have looked at your message to see if she knew you, and when she didn't, she may have went to the next message - it happens, don't sweat it. But be nice about it and don't be a pest about getting a reply from her.

Breaking the ice is important! I have a 'favorites list' I put together from reading hours of reviews posted here. Some of them seem untouchable unless I am vouched for by their special friends (how does that happen?), but I have made several contacts on my list so far and I'm making connections. Yes, they are still requiring references, but it will happen, just a matter of time

When dealing with a lady, treat her like one, not a conquest. I think they will see right through that approach. Make your contacts amusing and fun - not all business, and see what happens.


I've learned those things, and a few others, in my short time in the hobby. So far I'm having a great time! The bottom line is, do your research and get a 'favorites' list going, and accumulate some references from known providers while building up to getting that really great provider you are after to agree to see you.

Oh, almost forgot, make sure you read up on how to be stealthy in your pursuits, especially if you have a SO.

Good luck!