Fallen in love.

hobbyprojb's Avatar
Let me put it this way:

You will do whatever you want but rest assured others have been down this road before and those others have more, and less, experience than you. What I wrote previously was based on hard learned lessons that have been proven to be facts. Here is some interesting facts you have already confirmed:

1. That she has not indicated to you that she loves you... strike #1.

2. She knows your real world information. That is a bad move ace, never give a provider your real world information, ever... strike #2.

3. Do I really need to list strike #3? Take your pick but you are vulnerable now since your real world information is known by her and you have fallen while she has not. Don't laugh because others with far more experience than you have been outed/harassed/stalked by the girls in similar situations and those guys also thought their Sham Shield was impenetrable.

Now, how to tell if she all that and telling the truth if she says she wants out, you or both? That is the easy part: You judge her by her walk. Meaning, does she do what she says she will do and be a person you can trust? Only time will tell that one and you need to pay attention when making your calls.

Like FlectiNonFrangi wrote, and he is right, don't act on it. In fact, walk away for a while and see if she pursues you. If she does not return the feelings, beat feet so fast that Fred and Barney would be choking on your dust trail. If you don't, you will be played.

Now, if she does reciprocate then maybe there is something there but realize that more than likely it is her wanting to not lose a customer and income. This is all a business to the girls, so don't believe for a second if they tell you that they love you. The only way to tell if someone is being truthful is passage of time and watching their walk.

Also, rest assured that as long as she is providing, even though every wg will claim otherwise, her heart will never be yours nor will her body. She will always be on the lookout for a better deal and that is something you can take to the bank.

Learn the term broken dolls, if you don't know it already, and why that applies to the girls in P4P.
Don't misunderstand me. I haven't decided yet completely what I'm going to do.
I'm weighing all advice trust me.
I'm cautious by nature and do realise the ramifications of what I've done so far.
No, she hasn't told me right out "I love you".
But there are other ways to say it, I know.
I know who she is as she knows me. The outing could go both ways but I'm not a "2 wrongs make a right" guy.
I'm trying to hold out for as long as I can believe me.
Its a fucking tug of war right now but my cautious nature is kicking in overtime to keep myself from misstepping.
I want this to work.
I do appreciate everyone's candor.
armydude's Avatar
P4P can be tricky. You say there are ways to say I Love You without actually saying it. With a civilian, yes this is true. With an escort, she may just be "acting" like she cares about you. Many escorts like to be buddy/buddy with their clients, they like to give a sense of friendship. It's part of the game and it's considered good business tactic to keep the guys coming back. Think of it this way, wouldn't you rather be buddy/buddy with your clients too? If she emails and texts you or seems to like you, again, it all could be part of her professional antics to keep you (donation$) coming back for more. No decent provider is going to wanna be enemies with her clients, LOL. They all try to be on friendly terms. Makes sense.

Just tread carefully, keep everything in perspective and don't get taken. See the differenc ebetween illusion and reality. I still think honesty is the best policy, sooner rather than later, versas sitting arounf playing the guessing game. Because with these girls, you just never know. There is so much acting meshed in with the business side of this. I'm not saying feelings don't develope on either side, just keep it all in check man.

I'm telling you, ask her to spend some OTC time with you. Simple. Her reaction to that simple question alone with give you the answer. Most of these girls are dying for the clock to strike the hour, but if someone genuinely likes you, she will stay and wanna hang out. It's fool proof.
Old-T's Avatar
  • Old-T
  • 07-23-2011, 06:39 AM
Been there, done that. Fell for one lady in all my years, and it happened when I wasn't looking for it at all. There is only ONE way to address this in my mind, talk with her.

From what you describe I have to think she knows you feel differently about her, though she might not know how much differently. It's time you have a long talk about it, realizing things are very unlikely to be the same after that talk--you just don't know in what direction. You both trust each other enough to exchange real identities, you have done nothing that should make her angry, and your feelings/attitude don't indicate you are likely to go off the deep end if she doesn't recipricate your feelings.

Setting: give the two of you time. At least a day's planned activity with lots of private time to speak your minds. The last thing you need is to run out of time before the conversation runs its course.

Outcomes: can vairy all over the map:

1--She feels the same and is having similar difficulty about what to say

2--She really likes you but isn't "there" yet, but is willing to see what happens

3--No, she thinks you're a nice guy, really great client, maybe even a close friend, but not a romantic interest. Tough one: now it's your choice. Do you accept the relationship on those terms or walk away?

4--She can feel the same as #3 but end it with kindness, knowing she doesn't return your feelings and doesn't want to hurt you. Many of the good ones have to go through this at times.

5--She can blow up and slap you. Highly, highly unlikely.

If you don't say anything you take the supposedly "safe" route, keep seeing her on the terms you have now. Not likely to risk losing her (at least until she retires), but not getting the jackpot either.

You also said you understand this is her income. Advice: don't assume you know whether she would want to keep working or not. It's something to talk about, and if you come across as presupposing her answer either way on such a personal decision she's likely to be upset. If you truly are as flexible as you are saying, that leaves more room to find a middle ground acceptable to both.

No right answers, just some tough choices. Taking it past where you are depends upon trust and communication. Sounds like you have the first, now it's time for the second part, or you'll remain in "What If" land forever.

Good luck however it turns out for you, and don't let the curmudgeons convince you it's impossible. Whether you think it worth the risk of rejection only you can answer.
jhende3's Avatar
Sounds like she Is very good at her job to make you have feeling like you do. One hell of a GFE if you ask me. She sounds like a natural most women cant fake it, you know that its an act with them.
I notice a huge lack of female perspective on here..

It really is part of our "job" to make sure you feel like the only man that matters to us.

Has she told you how fun you are to be with or that you have awesome chemistry together? Has she ever refused to take the envelope or given you half back (kept just enough to cover expenses)? Has she ever told you "I'm not busy for a few hours, want to grab some lunch / a drink?" or "Do you have to leave right now? Can you stick around just a little longer?"

If she hasn't done any of the above, it's just you sweetie.
Pink Floyd's Avatar
Always go back to your roots! From an evolutionary standpoint a man has evolved to cast his seed far and wide to ensure preservation of his lineage. A woman evolved to seek the best provider, because of the very vulnerable child rearing stage. We try to pretend that we can accept our female mating with other males, but unless you are indifferent to your mate, or a sociopath you will not be able to accept this relationship. Watch the animal kingdom. If another lion approaches the Alpha lion doesn't run up and offer one of his girls for a tasty antelope carcass. Pimps can do what they do because they are totally indifferent to their women, they have them hooked on drugs, and could care less if they dropped dead tomorrow. In reality you would both have to quit the hobby to have any chance of success.
Pink Floyd's Avatar
I notice a huge lack of female perspective on here..

It really is part of our "job" to make sure you feel like the only man that matters to us.

Has she told you how fun you are to be with or that you have awesome chemistry together? Has she ever refused to take the envelope or given you half back (kept just enough to cover expenses)? Has she ever told you "I'm not busy for a few hours, want to grab some lunch / a drink?" or "Do you have to leave right now? Can you stick around just a little longer?"

If she hasn't done any of the above, it's just you sweetie. Originally Posted by lilred_robin
Very well put
ICU 812's Avatar
This comes up every year. Without mockery—and with full respect , I say search the forums and read the threads. It has worked out for some, but not for most.

To speak in generalities and not specifically about you or your lady: One of the recurring issues seems to be that the provider looks on her end of the Hobby as her Job, while the gent wants her to stop seeing other men.

There are many other issues . . .search and read.

My best wishes to both of you.

ICU
Dragon7769's Avatar
I notice a huge lack of female perspective on here..

It really is part of our "job" to make sure you feel like the only man that matters to us.

Has she told you how fun you are to be with or that you have awesome chemistry together? Has she ever refused to take the envelope or given you half back (kept just enough to cover expenses)? Has she ever told you "I'm not busy for a few hours, want to grab some lunch / a drink?" or "Do you have to leave right now? Can you stick around just a little longer?"

If she hasn't done any of the above, it's just you sweetie. Originally Posted by lilred_robin
I've had all those happen with a provider and want to ad : and even then she has to be "ready" to go to the next step.

Mine wasn't
Oh boy....listen closely to what the Phantom and robin are saying!!!

And then tell her based on the stock market ups/downs your net worth is 1/3 of what it
used to be...and then ask her about her true feelings about you.

After that, if she still shows interest....well, I still refer you back to Phantom and robin
Chica Chaser's Avatar
Robin has hit the nail on the head. Try seeing her without the envelope...that will answer your question.
Let me put it this way:

You will do whatever you want but rest assured others have been down this road before and those others have more, and less, experience than you. What I wrote previously was based on hard learned lessons that have been proven to be facts. Here is some interesting facts you have already confirmed:

1. That she has not indicated to you that she loves you... strike #1.

2. She knows your real world information. That is a bad move ace, never give a provider your real world information, ever... strike #2.

3. Do I really need to list strike #3? Take your pick but you are vulnerable now since your real world information is known by her and you have fallen while she has not. Don't laugh because others with far more experience than you have been outed/harassed/stalked by the girls in similar situations and those guys also thought their Sham Shield was impenetrable.

Now, how to tell if she all that and telling the truth if she says she wants out, you or both? That is the easy part: You judge her by her walk. Meaning, does she do what she says she will do and be a person you can trust? Only time will tell that one and you need to pay attention when making your calls.

Like FlectiNonFrangi wrote, and he is right, don't act on it. In fact, walk away for a while and see if she pursues you. If she does not return the feelings, beat feet so fast that Fred and Barney would be choking on your dust trail. If you don't, you will be played.

Now, if she does reciprocate then maybe there is something there but realize that more than likely it is her wanting to not lose a customer and income. This is all a business to the girls, so don't believe for a second if they tell you that they love you. The only way to tell if someone is being truthful is passage of time and watching their walk.

Also, rest assured that as long as she is providing, even though every wg will claim otherwise, her heart will never be yours nor will her body. She will always be on the lookout for a better deal and that is something you can take to the bank.

[FONT=Verdana]Learn the term broken dolls, if you don't know it already, and why that applies to the girls in P4P.[/FONT] Originally Posted by PhantomofTheOpera
I googled the term "broken dolls" but couldn't find anything...would you mind teaching me the meaning of the term...since I'm a girl in P4P and apparently it applies to me I should at least know what it means.
KlassyKelliAnn's Avatar
I am very skeptical when it comes to these types of relationships. (Adult Entertainment Industry Professions).

They rarely ever work out in the long run- However- there are exceptions.

I can feel the heartache and yearning through your initial post and I fell ya, and I do hope it goes well and that you are the exception. But we both know the chances of this happening will be slim to none. But one can be an optimisit right.

Good luck to you. Be honest and direct. As a woman, I appreciate these traits and she will too.

KKA
XOXO