yet another ghosting

Epilogue to the story: Shortly after my above post, she texted that she was on her way and included a pic of a highway sign to support her statement. Ever the fool, and paying attention to the small head, I went out to meet her


LOL! No surprise. No show and radio transmission silence. I have gotten used to providers not being on time. Its just seems to be how they live their lives. But why she would go so far to demonstrate that she was on her when it was not true is just hard for me to understand. Its just plain malevolent

Lose her number. That's awful

go out of your way to report any of her ads, let people know she does this garbage. Make it impossible for her to get clients. Then she will see you. When girls do this shit it usually means one of two things. Either she got an offer for more money, or she had "other needs" to tend to that took top priority.

1-2 times I can understand as shit does come up. But the way this girl handled you is horrible and it seems she's done the same to others. She deserves to lose the business.

But why she would go so far to demonstrate that she was on her when it was not true is just hard for me to understand. Its just plain malevolent Originally Posted by Don Stephens

I've noted the same, pretty much across the board. My theory about why the ones who do this, do it:

During the entire lead-up to a scheduled appointment, the girl is fishing around for either a better / more lucrative offer, or (even better) a way to get ... whatever it is she's actually planning to spend your donation on ... without actually meeting anyone or providing any services. If she's able to accomplish either of those, she'll ghost you without a second thought. But if not, she's still got you in her back pocket in order to get some money. And I'd she feels like she's "just that close" to being able to accomplish her goal without actually seeing you, but hasn't quite closed the deal yet, she'll delay or drag things out as long as possible, just to allow herself some extra time to see if she can do what she's trying to do or get what she wants to get, before finally giving up and agreeing to meet (which may, of course, not actually happen).

The girl feels no risk in doing this to someone, because she knows that, eventually, he'll probably come crawling back looking for another chance to see her - or, if he doesn't, then *someone* will. At least, that's how she feels it will go.

My best strategy for dealing with someone who's known to do this (or that you might reasonably suspect might do this) is, you approach her and tell her, "I'd like to see you, if you're available *right now* - if you're not, that's fine, I'll just make arrangements with someone else, and maybe catch you some other time" (or words to that effect). And if the girl in question is too far away from you for that to be practical, my advice would be, don't even bother. Your time is worth more than that.

FWIW, she hasn't been on SA for a couple of days.


I have a regular who come to my place once in a while. She'll text me when she's relatively close - which is probably a lie.
I have tried everything to get her to show up at a reasonable time. I've waited 6 hours or more in the past, which is not a big deal (other than blue balls) because I know if I do reply, it could be an all day event waiting for her to show up. The rare occasion when she does show up within an hour is like a Christmas Miracle.
I've tried offering more to get her here within the hour, I've told her I'll deduct for being late, I've ghosted her to try and teach her a lesson, I've physically said in person "what can I do to get you to show up on time?" and I get a shrug with "It's just the way I am". I've actually left my place because I told her I need to leave at [whatever] time and she's not here by then.
Often she'll text "I'm leaving soon" and 2 hours later she's still not here. I've gotten the "I'm 5 min away" only to show up 40 min later. I've gotten the "I'm here, gonna finish my cig and then I'll be in" only to have her sit in her car, death scrolling on her phone for 30 minutes.

The bottom line is, unemployed hoodrats have no sense of time or urgency and can get distrac....SQUIRREL!....way too easily. In addition, 'leaving now' to run 700 errands beforehand isn't the same as 'leaving now' to go to my place.

Its frustrating for real, but the choices are; wait or do not wait.

Appreciate all the responses and advice. I think they are all on target. I guess we just can't expect the "rules of social behavior" to apply to providers