Friend or customer

Do your homework. Read what ladies post here--some only post ads, rarely anything else, while some are much more talkative about various things. Look at their web sites and read their reviews to get a sense of their personality--many hide their face, but hiding personality is much harder. Then when you find someone you want to meet, don't send them a one-line "You available at 8 AM for an hour?". Instead write to them as the human being they are--how she replies tells you a lot. Finally, look at her rate structure: does she encourage 15 or 30 minute meetings, or does she encourage multiple hour dinner dates.

The clues and tools are out there to find the kind of lady who is compatible with what you are looking for.

Take a look at my most recent review for what one end of the spectrum can be--IF that is what you want and are willing to do your research (and I am not saying that is what is right for everyone, or even a majority). This is a very personalized business--and since it is a very personal business it is not ALL business.

If you're still leaving an envelope on the dresser, it's business no matter how much you think she's into you as a friend, or she texts you, or what have you. You want a relationship, go to Match.com or similar.

Do your homework. Read what ladies post here--some only post ads, rarely anything else, while some are much more talkative about various things. Look at their web sites and read their reviews to get a sense of their personality--many hide their face, but hiding personality is much harder. Then when you find someone you want to meet, don't send them a one-line "You available at 8 AM for an hour?". Instead write to them as the human being they are--how she replies tells you a lot. Finally, look at her rate structure: does she encourage 15 or 30 minute meetings, or does she encourage multiple hour dinner dates.

The clues and tools are out there to find the kind of lady who is compatible with what you are looking for.

Take a look at my most recent review for what one end of the spectrum can be--IF that is what you want and are willing to do your research (and I am not saying that is what is right for everyone, or even a majority). This is a very personalized business--and since it is a very personal business it is not ALL business. Originally Posted by Old-T

Thank you so much.. there these are exactly what I am looking for.. I just don't want to step out of bounds with my providers..

If you're still leaving an envelope on the dresser, it's business no matter how much you think she's into you as a friend, or she texts you, or what have you. You want a relationship, go to Match.com or similar. Originally Posted by Mysterydate023

I don't have a problem with the business aspect part.. just wanted to know how friendly I should be.. so far all of the providers I have had have been the absolute best.. and I felt comfortable with the majority of them on a conversational level I actually felt the same way I would if they were a coworker..

by me getting opinions from both sides of the business sector I can get a diversified image of what the girls are looking at.. and what the clients end is looking at to . by me doing that I can have a working set of rules to go by without making anyone feel uncomfortable

If you're looking for a friend, get a dog.

You are right.. it is just a business.. my curiosity is do you keep it all just bam bam see you next month or more like a chat you would have with any one on a normal day. we all know that you cannot have a relationship that gets to personal where it affects your daily life.. see them on the street walk on by unless of course both parties agree on a possible set of rules for public contact.. Originally Posted by wendlo

Well it depends on the people, the situation of provider and client, and the society/country you're in. Had a gal in the UK who did activist work with the ecp (English Collective of Prostitutes)... for example if I walked by her on the street and they were doing some sort of activity I'd be happy to say hello n chit chat, sign whatever (if they were trying to get signatures or something). Generally speaking, I don't think I'd have much to talk about with her, she was a pretty far left feminist type.

It's different in the states, unlike all the other forms of sex work, this particular type is criminalized. Even when it isn't, it's common sense to maintain discretion unless you know she's okay with how society treats the profession. It should be treated like any other, but how things should be and how they are are very different. If you were in porn and walked by a woman you worked with, would you shout out "Hey remember when we fucked on video?!"...

let it happen slowly, let it take years ta get there
for me its 2 ta 5 years before any trust started

Do your homework. Read what ladies post here--some only post ads, rarely anything else, while some are much more talkative about various things. Look at their web sites and read their reviews to get a sense of their personality--many hide their face, but hiding personality is much harder. Then when you find someone you want to meet, don't send them a one-line "You available at 8 AM for an hour?". Instead write to them as the human being they are--how she replies tells you a lot. Finally, look at her rate structure: does she encourage 15 or 30 minute meetings, or does she encourage multiple hour dinner dates.

The clues and tools are out there to find the kind of lady who is compatible with what you are looking for.

Take a look at my most recent review for what one end of the spectrum can be--IF that is what you want and are willing to do your research (and I am not saying that is what is right for everyone, or even a majority). This is a very personalized business--and since it is a very personal business it is not ALL business. Originally Posted by Old-T

Thank you so much..that is exactly what kind of information. I know that a business relationship yet still being personable. I am a chatter love to connect not only in the physical way but personally as you would with anyone that you have a basic friendly conversation with. I have had a couple of providers that were like that. Stop shoot the bull a little bit do business then snuggle for a little bit while having quiet conversation. To me it isn't just a mechanical movement jump on jump off leave. I do understand the distance. Luckily i have had very good providers that has definitely shown me not just the physical side but the affectionate playfulness and closeness . I love the fact that they are willing to open up and let down a few of the barriers while maintaining the relationship as still strictly business and once we part ways we part till our next rendezvous.

I don't have a problem with the business aspect part.. just wanted to know how friendly I should be.. so far all of the providers I have had have been the absolute best.. and I felt comfortable with the majority of them on a conversational level I actually felt the same way I would if they were a coworker.. Originally Posted by wendlo

Of course they're friendly in a session, it's their job. Don't delude yourself.

Of course they're friendly in a session, it's their job. Don't delude yourself. Originally Posted by Mysterydate023

Truth.^^^ Nothing wrong with caring about the ladies, BUT realize it's business. Unless you go hang out at the bar with her sometimes and throw back a few, or have coffee, or go to the movies or something like that WITHOUT paying her for the privilege.


I am in a VERY shitty marriage with NO affection whatsoever so I tend to want to see someone regularly instead of a variety of providers. I like the familiarity and "kinda" friendship that can develop. I can lose myself in the fantasyland of the moment for a while and forget about how terrible my real life relationship is. BUT, you let yourself think it's anything more than business when it's all said and done, you're just setting yourself up for a major league reality check.

Have fun, enjoy the fantasy, BUT remember, it's about money for them. Don't forget it.

Seriously??? I think you are getting some very delusional answers here.


This is a business. It's work but we aren't coworkers. You are looking to monopolize the ladies time and efforts and build friendships, personal connections(I did not say love, lovers etc) that you are lacking at home. Warning, danger, don't do it. This is not a friendships business. If you want that, find someone from a bar, etc that you can chit chat with personally all day long to fill that void. That is NOT HERE.

There are many ladies that are personable and treat their clients very well. This is a personal, intimate, connected type of business, but it doesn't mean we need to even know much about you, clearly. We enjoy being treated as ladies and we remember a great deal about our encounters long after the fact. But I'd want to smack anyone that tells you it's ok to purposely behave in a way to connect with these ladies as the norm. Sorry, gents, do not lead him on, especially as a newbie.

Stay away from the ones that treat this as a clock on the wall with an ATM. That won't ever be for you. And it's fine to seek the ladies that are extremely good at the illusion of passion, intimacy, and friendship. Heck, they may even like you for real, and build up real trust, on both sides. But personal chatty poking can easily get you labeled as clingy, draining, and uncomfortable to visit with, especially if you run over the time allotted. It's not that wise to chat about your own RW personal info either, expecting that she cares and will always keep that safe.

Looking for friends is an easy way to get burned here and have a bad taste, maybe quickly, maybe slowly, but almost guaranteed. Do not seek it out and push crossing that line. Let the ladies pick you, from who you visit with. If they enjoy your time, quite a lot, but don't actually TELL you of their own accord that they seek you as a friend, it's still an illusion.

I have clients that are simply and act and money. Some are barely memorable. Several I look forward to and wish I'd see more often, for a variety of reasons---hot sex, silliness, generosity, a great acquaintance that I like keeping up with. True friends or personal relationships, only a few.

Just because you chat a good bit, text, spend time off the clock, help her out, or even know her real name, does not mean you are her friend. That may be happenstance, loneliness, or a changeup in the rhythm of the scenario. Any guy here can tell you that, too.

If you want them to pretend to really like you, it's here, and if that works for you, great. But you may want to read up on the countless stories of how the guys have been cut off, blacklisted, outed, stolen from, heartbroken, and generally manipulated by a lady they felt they were actually friends with of some fashion; it can change in a heartbeat.


Tread carefully and keep it simple. You aren't the plumber. But not Captain Save a Ho, or BFFs either just because you rolled around naked a few times, had some laughs, and gave her money. Just be happy with the ladies that treat you warmly and leave it at that.

True friends or personal relationships, only a few. Originally Posted by FireKitten

heh

...Tread carefully and keep it simple. You aren't the plumber. But not Captain Save a Ho, or BFFs either just because you rolled around naked a few times, had some laughs, and gave her money. Just be happy with the ladies that treat you warmly and leave it at that. Originally Posted by FireKitten

There's a lot of truth here OP...consider it.

Firekitten has a point.

I'd like to make a few clarifications.

Being chatty is not a problem if you are respectful of a ladies time. 97% of the time you will be paying for the privilege of having a conversation. If you are prefectly ok with that, then chat until your face is blue if you wish. You don't have to ask (or answer) soul searching questions or even for private info to have a conversation. Places you both have traveled to, favorite foods, movies, music, books, etc. all are "safe" subjects.

Don't make yourself out to be mark. You seem to be a nice guy. There are providers out there that will take advantage of that. Until you trust a lady completely do not share anything personal that can be easily linked to the real world. Don't ever do pictures. Don't ever give a provider money unless you are about spend some time together and you are inside her incall. Don't give a loan and expect her to pay you back in trade. Never think you can "save" her. I hate to be mean but if an girl has any signs of hard drug use cut ties.

Real friends can happen, but it does get rather expensive. I will totally admit that I have met real friends from the hobby. The investment on their part was rather substantial for me to see them enough to be completely comfortable and trust them 100%. It took seeing one for multi-hour visits twice a month for a year for me to start contacting him to just hang out at his place without the sex or money. The other I saw once a week for multiple hours for several months with the majority of the time spent sharing stories about his life. It also helps they both are smart, funny, and generous to everyone they meet...just all-around great guys.