Stage fright or performance anxiety

If it's performance anxiety as you have suggested, you're too worried about her pleasure and not focusing enough on your own. A good provider takes pleasure in YOUR pleasure, more so than hers. So stop worrying about whether you're being a porn star, and just relax and let her bring the pleasure to you. And remember that she wants to see you get off.

.... this is embarassing.....
.... I found a girl off backpage. I know risky.......The turtle hid and didn't want to come back out. No release nothing.
........ Originally Posted by scottish.wolf

Risky = FEAR!!!; if you are just a little bit sane.

I don't think any guy could get it up when there is a real fear factor involved. When your flight/fight emotions is telling you to get out of there it is hard to think about your dick.

Forget about it, you should have never gone into a situation. When your big head is screaming caution, don't listen to your little head. Just get away from it. You can always find another woman, but you have only one life.

Learn to read the girls, there are a lot of sweet ladies. Learn to read the signs; if you are uncomfortable, walk away. When you find a sweet lady, you can go back. But there are too many that require caution.

JR

Maybe start with a massage+ provider to shake the jitters. The massage should help relax you and get out of your own head.

Risky = FEAR!!!; if you are just a little bit sane.

I don't think any guy could get it up when there is a real fear factor involved. When your flight/fight emotions is telling you to get out of there it is hard to think about your dick. Originally Posted by JRLawrence

I don't know. Some guys thrive on the fear. Fear of getting caught where you shouldn't be, with someone you shouldn't be with. Fear of being in a bar on the wrong side of the tracks. Fear of law enforcement.

It's a form of gambling, and there are guys who looooove to gamble. Gets them hard.

It's a form of gambling, and there are guys who looooove to gamble. Gets them hard. Originally Posted by KCQuestor

It gets me going.

I really am shocked but greatful as well for all the positive comments and replies to my situation.

I will keep all of it in mind when I decide to try again.

I don't know. Some guys thrive on the fear. Fear of getting caught where you shouldn't be, with someone you shouldn't be with. Fear of being in a bar on the wrong side of the tracks. Fear of law enforcement.

It's a form of gambling, and there are guys who looooove to gamble. Gets them hard. Originally Posted by KCQuestor

Well now, I understand. Some people love the adrenalin rush: some people love to jump out of an airplane and feel the rush from the fall (yes, I have done that), some people like to go rock climbing and repel down (yes, I have done that), being in a bar on the wrong side of the tracks (yes, I have done that), been in combat (yes, I have done that)

But, when I was alone in New Orleans I wanted to go listen to some jazz on Basin Street, I found out that the jazz club was in a worst part of town than I could ever imagine. I drove there & sat outside in the car for a while listening to the music. I might have been alone, but I was not stupid. I have been to some other clubs where some black friends vouched for me. But going in alone, and not knowing anyone would have made me stand out more than my white face. Why invite trouble? But then, some guys go looking for trouble, it makes them feel like a man.

But then, this little old man was minding his own business a couple of years ago going for a little walk. When approached by a couple of guys, just trying to be men, when they thought they would hassle me (or rob). Being calm when faced with stupid behavior does wonders; I didn't even have to show my gun, my calm behavior told them I had it.

Gambled? Yes, I have done that too, but with a level mind - and I usually win because I stick to the games I know, and I don't like loosing. Before they changed to a multi-deck shoe I liked blackjack because you could watch the cards and run the statistics through your head. I won a lot of money. But, I gave it up years ago. It just isn't any fun when you know things are stacked against you and that the little reward that you get is just that: blackjack now pays too little for the amount of time you play.

Understand what is going on around you and understand where and why any fear you feel. Understand the fight/flight response system and use it to plan what your do and how you respond.

JR

GFE, get a girl who you can talk to before you move into the bedroom.

Understand what is going on around you and understand where and why any fear you feel. Understand the fight/flight response system and use it to plan what your do and how you respond. Originally Posted by JRLawrence

I get you, I do. But you said "I don't think any guy could get it up when there is a real fear factor involved." I know that's not true. I mean, I guess it comes down to the definition of "real fear". But as far as a little risk or nervousness, I know there are guys who get hard over that stuff. Just not the OP, apparently. No biggie.