I am a strong believer in being secure. I will do what I can to protect mine and I know you ladies must do so a Also! However, I think you are over reacting. You can never be in the hobby with a 100% guarantee that you will be safe. There are posted talking about bad people (both ladies and gents)who are verified here and on 411. Your best method to be safe is for everybody to be able to share with each other. Texas does a pretty good job. There are a few other areas that do pretty good. However, in a lot of the smaller areas the communication isn't so good.
Now what about the person that doesn't have all the boxes checked you want? Some providers will welcome them and some won't. It's the same with the guys. I think you can be really safe if you exclude newbies but I also think you will miss out on a number on nice encounters. Your choice. However, any guy that is going to provide you with all the ideas your thinking about is just nuts. The more complicated you make it, the fewer interested men you will see. Your choice! I think you'll figure it out in time. You have some really nice and experienced (understand that as meaning wise) ladies to help you. Good luck, enjoy, be safe and don't make it too complicated.