Morality in the hobby.... thoughts, questions, experiences??

So, what are some of the craziest scandelous things anyone has seen related to politics & agenda's in the hobby?


Maybe that should be another thread?

Chealsea,

I admit it has made me a bit wary. I WANT to trust, its my nature. But after what happened with the one girl I am a bit leary. Is that fair? Maybe not. Does it have precedence? Yes it does.

Some of it IS stereotyping... I would ask you this. With your situation...might he have been just as suspicious if the girl in question were not in the hobby? Its possible...maybe his trust issues are born of something entirely different... only you would know.

I say (sadly) for myself I am a bit more careful leaving uber valuables out...which is a good practice no matter the background of your houseguests. No temptation, no regrets is my new mantra. Originally Posted by Toyz

At my studio I actually have a nice travel trunk in which I tell clients they can put their clothes, valuables and phone. Then when the session is over I make them check to be sure they have everything before leaving. I've never been accused of stealing and never would, but it's such a horrible feeling to be wrongfully accused that I'd rather be safe than sorry.

So, what are some of the craziest scandelous things anyone has seen related to politics & agenda's in the hobby?


Maybe that should be another thread? Originally Posted by Scarlett Rossi

I'd like to see it as a new thread!

At my studio I actually have a nice travel trunk in which I tell clients they can put their clothes, valuables and phone. Then when the session is over I make them check to be sure they have everything before leaving. I've never been accused of stealing and never would, but it's such a horrible feeling to be wrongfully accused that I'd rather be safe than sorry. Originally Posted by JapaneseShae

Sounds like a good plan...

However, sometimes I have sleep overs and I leave for work early...so...I have to trust that my houseguest will not help herself to any of my belongings as she prepares for departure...

'Tis a risk I chose to take on occasion...have only been burnt the one time, and that worked out remarkably well...

I was once accused of stealing something from a client I had spent quite a bit of off the clock time with. I thought we were friends, but apparently I was just a stereotypical hooker with a capital "H" with whom one must sleep with one eye open lest she steal something or attempt to murder you in your sleep. A couple of days later, he found what he had simply misplaced and apologized. But, where do you go from there? I was so offended and hurt by that accusation. I couldn't even stand to look at him after that. I have never stolen anything from anyone in or outside of this capacity. Just floored me. Totally unexpected. I don't think of myself any differently because I do this, but apparently men do. Or at least, this one did. I don't believe he would have accused me of that had we met and were hanging out, dating, whatever, in any way besides this one. Still makes me so angry. Was a good lesson in drawing lines between your professional and personal life, which can get kinda blurry sometimes in this line of work. Originally Posted by chelseabean

That's horrible. And I would've been in the same frame of mind - where do we go from here?! Things would never be the same because there will always be resentment for blaming me in the first place.

It's only made me that much more confident in the fact that there's no real love or friendship Originally Posted by JapaneseShae

I disagree as well... There are two providers who I trust implicitly and who have helped me with things well outside the hobby and I have and am willing to help them any time they need it as well. I think of them at times as Friends, Girl Friends, Friends With Benefits, etc... They have proven themselves to be utterly trustworthy over the year or more that I have know each of them. It does take careful cultivation and being a friend first to have a friend in this hobby though.

Ditto FastWheels here!! Yes, it is a rare find, but if fortunate you can find a provider who is also a wonderful friend and confidant... someone you would see even if not providing. I am lucky to have 2 that fall into that category.

They are incredible providers and also amazing people. I would do anything to help them if needed and I think they know that. There is a huge trust issue here that is built over time but the risk can be very rewarding.

For some the risk and time investment is not worth it. I have found the reward to not only be well worth it, but a valuable personal experience that has enriched my life as with any other close friend.

+ 1 for both FW and T4L's comments. I have several providers where I am getting close to that level of trust that comes from friendship.

Of course you know if the $$s stop, so does the sex; however, one would hope that the friendship would endure once the lady or guy leaves the hobby.

OK, there I go getting all white knight like, but you do build some relationships that should be protected and cherished.

Imo, the eccie politics do get tiresome. But, I say just let the chips fall where they may and things will eventually work themselves out. I think we all should be more aware. Look harder. Ask questions. Do not ever take things at face value. I have been guilty of that, only to find later.... Hey, maybe I was wrong?!! A lot of people have shocked the hell out of me. Mostly they turned out good, after taking the time to know them. Only a few bad apples so far.

Do unto others, as a golden rule and if you slip up, apologize to the person(s) privately or however you choose to and move on. Lawd knows, I have had to apologize and be put in my place a few times! Humble pie and 2 or 3 feet in my mouth, at once!!

Sometimes, the agendas are pretty transparent. Sometimes they are not. I am thankful for my friends, in this hobby, who inspire me to be a better woman, every day and keep to the higher road.

It can be a very dirty business. It does not have to be. I thank my lucky stars, to most all the great ladies I have ever been roomates with or doubled with. There have been several... either retired or on their own paths now. Most all very peaceful even after any personal spats.

I have never had anyone accuse me of stealing, but that would suck. I have seen those situations on the board, between guys and girls.... Not fun.

Out of all the bad things, in the hobby, I would say that trafficking and seeing girls you know are minors and or trafficked would be the amongst the worst. Rape and robbery, both sides, as well.

I've gotten this from an ex-boss of mine. He and his female associate have spread every rumor under the sun, from me doing bbfs to me posting bad reviews of his girls. All because I left to go indie. Not to mention the harassing phone calls.

Bottom line is there's a lot of ugliness in this business. It's only made me that much more confident in the fact that there's no real love or friendship, $$$ and jealousy will make anyone backstab you. Originally Posted by JapaneseShae

You mean to say there's even more than one Marco out there or are we talking one and the same?

i believe we all settle at a level of morality that we feel comfortable with and feel we can justify to ourselves, whether it be lurking, fbsm, gfe, pse or even bbfs.
the problem doesnt lye in holding ourselves accountable to that moral scale, but rather in holding OTHERS accountable to our moral scale.
we're all here doing something wrong. whether you feel its legally wrong, or ehtically wrong.
dont hold anyone accountable, because their scale doesnt line up with your scale.
if anything. this hobby has taught me acceptance, we all have kinks and our own sexual fingerprint.
let that freak flag fly high and proud!!

I'll add something because I think this could be a great topic to discuss.

About 2 years ago I had an evening OC with a travelling provider. Had seen her a couple of times and we really, really connected. This night we were having a good bit of fun just hanging out pre-festivities & decided tequila shots (along with the jello shots I had made) would be fun....long and short of it, we got hammered...did the deed...I suggested she not drive since she could barely walk, and that she could sleep it off in another bedroom as I was NOT trying to take advantage of a situation. She declined the other bedroom and slept with me-at no further rate increase.

The next morning I had to be to work, so asked her to just lock up on her way out.

She thought it appropriate to steal something valuable as a token of our evening together...

When I found out, I informed her that she should have researched who I am a bit better, and explained what was about to happen to her. As she was already one state away, I gave her the benefit of the doubt when she said she would return it....

She DID return it...I took her to lunch that day (mostly to scold her & hope that a lesson could be imparted). We became GOOD friends. Developed a long term tryst where she stayed with me when in town, worked days, then the nights we acted kind of like a couple. Over time she earned a key to my place to come and go as needed (with notice of course). She never betrayed that trust again.

She has long since left the hobby, found love, but still communicates with me on occasion kind of in a mentoring capacity.

Moral of this story? Take it for what you want... I could have blown her up, which I probably would have done most times, but something about me said this one might be worth a bit of understanding and investing in. I was right. Originally Posted by Toyz

There's understanding and then there's something else.

A grown woman stole from your home. I get that you played it cool in order to get the item back but taking her out to lunch and eventually giving her a key because she was worth a bit of understanding?

This wasn't some neighborhood kid who threw a rock through your window as a prank. This was an adult who consciously violated your trust and stole from you.

What is there to understand that would warrant rewarding a thief with an opportunity to repeat said offense?

I wouldn't necessarily define this as good insight. I think you just got off lucky that things turned out the way they did.

There's understanding and then there's something else.

A grown woman stole from your home. I get that you played it cool in order to get the item back but taking her out to lunch and eventually giving her a key because she was worth a bit of understanding?

This wasn't some neighborhood kid who threw a rock through your window as a prank. This was an adult who consciously violated your trust and stole from you.

What is there to understand that would warrant rewarding a thief with an opportunity to repeat said offense?

I wouldn't necessarily define this as good insight. I think you just got off lucky that things turned out the way they did. Originally Posted by Listener

At any rate I was pleased with the outcome. Two ways to look at this one, second Chance or not. My goal by telling this was not to impress you are anyone with my "insight", merely to tell a story that in my case had a happy ending.

I took the high road, you would have had her busted.

I prefer my solution and outcome in this singular issue.

Too damn little morality in or out of the hobby these days.

I can't tell you how many people I know who've been betrayed by real world friends or even family. Often over things that don't really benefit the betrayer.

The world's just fucking nuts these days.

However, you've got to make do with the world we have, not the world we want. The best we can do is be weigh the risks vs. rewards, and try not to become the villain yourself.

I ran into a scenario back in Ohio that I could only call blatant viciousness. There were 3 ladies that worked together. One acted as a scheduler as the other two had RW jobs. I guess they did ok but took in a new provider who eventually outshined them all. She also had a RW job so things were doing well at the start but soon started getting a little hairy.

The scheduler would advertise "specials" without telling her. She'd expect $200 but get $150. Special requests for lingerie, etc. weren't passed on to her. She never did Greek but was advertised as doing it. Guys inquiring about her were "diverted". She finally left and went low volume Indy but was constantly under attack from the other 3 with rumors about her safety and fabricated health issues.

None of that hurt her biz since those things tend to shake out over time, but it does go down in my book as one of the most vindictive things I've experienced in the hobby. Originally Posted by Loxly

OH MY STARS !!! WOW !!!