I admit, I'm kind of surprised by some of the vehemence or irked tones I see some taking on. But then again, it's all textual-- so no point in getting huffy one way or another.
Are there some women who don't respond for like three weeks to a reference request and make me wonder? Sure. But then again, there are some guys who I'll send a question about an appointment prebooked a week or two, and then see they haven't opened their email for a week. That can be annoying too.
And then I'm sure there are those that email too much, both on the side of providers and hobbyists.
There's a whole range here, as in all variables-- Some people don't care that a provider takes awhile, and some do.
Since some of us women seem to be doing the whole, "Well I personally do xyz..." I can chime in and say I like to stay pretty on top of things. I check my various work emails several times a day. However, things can get screwed up. For example: I went to Dallas this weekend. I had a lot of great guys contact me (and for those who didn't see me, I really do want to catch you next time should you have the time and inclination.) However, holiday weekend+work+my phone deciding to die permanently meant that by the time the second day of Dallas rolled around, all I wanted to do was mellow out, grab a Kanagaroo burger from the Twisted Root, and chill out. I contacted everyone (missed one guy who I talked to today) and I didn't cancel on any finalized plans. But I did email in the afternoon and let a couple gents know that we could casually meet up, but I was being lazy due to the crazy consternation that had occurred the night before phone-wise.
So, I think when you're writing a lady, you should always keep in mind a few things:
1. She does have other things going on, especially if she's touring.
2. Something out of the ordinary might have occurred that makes her be less "in the loop" communication-wise.
3. If she's done something that's disappointed you, communicate that, listen to her explanation (if she has one) and then either move on, or schedule with her the next time she's in town.
4. Consider how you're emailing her also (or calling, or texting.) Maybe your form of communication is turning her off and she's weighing the odds of meeting you. Sometimes guys are WAY too casual about sending emails or texts, and if I haven't met a person...over familiarity is a turn off, so I might start hedging a bit.
and finally,
5. There's a lot of people on both sides of the hobbying playing field. We're not pizzas to be ordered on a moment's notice, and sometimes things happen. Certainly we're not interchangeable with one another as one lady will offer a different experience than another. However, I have no doubt that MOST hobbyists have a list of women they want to see (for the first time), or want to see again. If things don't happen with one woman, either cross her off the list, or just assume something was going on with her life or work at the time, and see if (when she's available) if you have the inclination to see her.
All that being said-- some days of the week, I'm glued to the computer because I'm writing my guys and I see stuff in my inbox immediately. Other days, I'm on the road, and the last thing I want to do (though most times I do it) is go through my inbox.
I say patience is key. Understanding is key. Compassion and a sense of humor is key. And sometimes, chalking things up to miscommunication, bad luck, or bad timing is also necessary.
I think I have these qualities. The gentlemen that I love the most to visit with have these qualities. I would hope that more men did as well. Since I don't talk to that many providers except a few key favorites, I have no clue if gentlemen are wishing that more providers had these qualities as well.
And that's about all I can say about that