Provider jealousy and conflict among the established ladies and those new to the industry.

That's the point I was trying to make, but the question was "why the ladies act that way. "

Courtney, no one is saying you're INTENT is to advertise (and even if they are, screw 'em, you're allowed to post threADs). But every time a lady posts, it IS advertisement. That's why you should always choose your words, manner, and tone very carefully. Clarify when necessary.

Anyway, I always hear this complaint, so I'm absolutely sure it happens, but I hardly ever run into this. The worst I run into are ladies that simply won't respond, and I often let gents know that so-and-so didn't get back to me, so he may do as he pleases with that information. I have not, to my knowledge, run across any ladies that gave a false bad reference (I rarely get bad references).

I guess my advice would be to start trying to keep up with who gives you ONLY bad references. If you've contacted a lady three times about three different clients, and the references were all bad, chances are she's cockblocking. Refuse to take her as a reference. You don't have to tell the guys why, but it might give them a heads up that she doesn't play well with others.

Alternatively, come up with another way to screen that doesn't require references, so if a guy only has a couple of refs, and they are not reference-friendly, you can still get him screened and have your fun. Personally, I use a combination of employment screening and deposit through ********. Come up with what makes you feel comfortable.

As an aside, I know a lot of you ECCIE guys object to deposits. I'm already aware of this and I do it anyway and it works well for me. Lets not derail her thread with a discussion about how I'm terrible for it. Originally Posted by CarolineDavenport

I agree with Caroline. I always let the gents know that so & so did not respond and let them handle that however they want.

Lol, ok, ECCIE censors my deposit method. That's interesting. :P Originally Posted by CarolineDavenport

I take deposits for overnights with gentlemen through bla, bla, bla if I do not already know them and for my Fancy Field Trips, especially the fantasy tour packages I put together to several Renaissance festivals. Never had a problem with anybody declining to send a deposit. Hmmm, never thought of it as a useful way of screening, however. Do fellows do this for anything less than multi-hour appointments?

Fancy you are Epic!

That's the point I was trying to make, but the question was "why the ladies act that way. " Originally Posted by CourtneySt.Clair

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Fancy you are Epic! Originally Posted by CourtneySt.Clair

No, just Irish.

Is this another Brooke Wilde thread??

Who is Brooke Wilde?

^^^^
Exactly

Who is Brooke Wilde? Originally Posted by CourtneySt.Clair

IM JUST HERE FOR THE COMMENTS.

I take deposits for overnights with gentlemen through bla, bla, bla if I do not already know them and for my Fancy Field Trips, especially the fantasy tour packages I put together to several Renaissance festivals. Never had a problem with anybody declining to send a deposit. Hmmm, never thought of it as a useful way of screening, however. Do fellows do this for anything less than multi-hour appointments?
Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

Yes, they do. I see newbies this way all the time. It's hard to break in as a newbie. As long as your reputation is stellar, they're usually pretty willing. I've had a couple of times where they freaked out and accused me of being a scammer, but once I pointed out that no one has ever accused me of stealing their money, and ask them to go research me, they calm down and apologize. :P I'd say 90% are willing. The other 10% that seem nervous, I encourage to just go find a couple of ladies with lighter newbie screening first.

Sorry for derailing, but Fancy deserved an answer.

Red flag: if a lady strings you along and never really gives you a reference (asks clarifying questions back and forth, then all of a sudden doesn't have her phone or computer handy to check the reference)...then the client calls and says something random came up and has to reschedule. Then the day he rescheduled for, some other bizarre reason comes up...

In this situation one of his other refs came through, so I didn't worry about the first lady and set the appointment. The guy never rescheduled...

NEVER USING THAT LADY AS A REFERENCE AGAIN. Both he and the lady wasted my time.

Yes, they do. I see newbies this way all the time. It's hard to break in as a newbie. As long as your reputation is stellar, they're usually pretty willing. I've had a couple of times where they freaked out and accused me of being a scammer, but once I pointed out that no one has ever accused me of stealing their money, and ask them to go research me, they calm down and apologize. :P I'd say 90% are willing. The other 10% that seem nervous, I encourage to just go find a couple of ladies with lighter newbie screening first.

Sorry for derailing, but Fancy deserved an answer. Originally Posted by CarolineDavenport

Interesting. I will add this to the screening options on my website. Thank you!

See? Ladies CAN help each other here.

Red flag: if a lady strings you along and never really gives you a reference (asks clarifying questions back and forth, then all of a sudden doesn't have her phone or computer handy to check the reference)...then the client calls and says something random came up and has to reschedule. Then the day he rescheduled for, some other bizarre reason comes up...

In this situation one of his other refs came through, so I didn't worry about the first lady and set the appointment. The guy never rescheduled...

NEVER USING THAT LADY AS A REFERENCE AGAIN. Both he and the lady wasted my time. Originally Posted by YummyMarie

Sounds familiar. I think I've been the victim of such "poaching," for lack of a better word. Really, really low behavior. I have a list of providers that I no longer accept references from for various reasons, thankfully short, but an unfortunate necessity.