Okay, I'm about to out do the nude massage guy. Ladies, effective immediately, I will agree to sexually pleasure you free of charge. No thanks necessary, as it may well be my duty...
I wonder what other services the ladies are interested in besides massage.
Hell, I can provide a free stripper-gram service. Includes one poorly sung dirty lymric, a hot booty grinding lap dance, and a happy ending. As a not-for-profit organization I'll be able to write my services and mileage off on my taxes.
Dildo application services
In shower soap and shampoo lathering
Naughty girl spank happy ass reddening
Stiff nipple pinching
Professional motorboating (C cups or larger please)
Porn star tryout consulting services
I want business proposals on my desk people!
Onceler
...registered and licensed moaterboater...