The line between taking advantage and being taken advantage of....

It was not a client of mine at all. I could not be bullied into anything. I also choose a donation that allows me to be far more flexible with my time. I was speaking for others not for myself. Though the advice given is universal.

I would pay you to take advantage of my Jaycee............ lol

The incident with texting immediately made me think of the movie "Biloxi Blues" where Matthew Boderick was visiting a lady for the first experience in his young life. While he was loosing his cherry the lady was eating an apple.

We wonder how the writer, Niel Simon, came up with the idea for this funny incident. However, when something like that happened with Karman Houston, it is not on a movie screen where one laughs at the situation. In real life it is not funny; it is incredibly rude.

JR

I never thought that I would need to write a negative review, and I hated to do it recently for KH. But really people, when a lady takes up the phone and starts texting during a visit is rude, but grabbing her phone and texting during side saddle is unbelievable and unacceptable. Originally Posted by JRLawrence

OMG -as you say unbelievable.

Jaycee again with the well stated & intellectually stimulating thread. Very heady.

When I first read Jaycee’s initial post I had a couple thoughts. First, I was pleased to see one of my favorite posters back posting. It is always a better day when Jaycee posts. I also thought, as a couple others have said, this thread needs to be stapled to the front of the General forum. Simple, clear, and captures the essence of what makes for a memorable (in the good sense) date: communication and respect. But in truth those are the key building blocks to any interpersonal relationship.

I didn’t reply right away because I didn’t have anything to add, and I couldn’t improve upon the way she said it.

But over the next couple days I realized how shallow my thinking had been. It was correct as far as it went, but as is often the case with Jaycee, her post contained seeds and secondary thoughts that ran deeper. It was good fodder for thinking as I drove back and forth to work this week, trying to harvest the fruit from the seeds she had planted until I felt I could add something while living up to the standards of the original post. I finally condensed it to three thoughts—three additional building blocks that should be part of the interaction. I will take all three from the man’s POV (largely because I have never experienced the woman’s POV I guess).

First: be honest about what you are looking for. Too many guys consciously or unconsciously act as if they must want what other guys want out of a date. I think this is especially true of younger/newer guys who read a lot of posts and take them too much as “the way it should be”. Sometimes it goes so far that I have seen comments from newbies such as, “What am I doing wrong? Why don’t I like XXXX?” They have deluded themselves by reading reviews about other guys enjoying something (or some physical trait) and they think they are “incorrect” if they do not enjoy the same things. If a guy isn’t honest with himself about what he is looking for (and it may differ week to week), then it is hard to have a mind boggling adventure.

Second (almost 1a rather than 2), once you have had that honest discussion about what you want—then search accordingly. If you feel like a tall blonde with tattoos who has a certain menu, then don’t get distracted by the first naked breast you see, or talk yourself into seeing a short bald lady with a completely different menu and then say “she” was disappointing. It isn’t her fault that you went to McDonalds when you wanted Peking Duck. The flip side of this is honesty in how a lady represents herself. If I realize I want to see the tall blonde for certain activities, and her web site shows a blonde, says she is 6’4”, and claims she enjoys exactly the activities I am looking for—then I do have the right to be very disappointed if the door opens to a 4’9” bald lady--even if she is the sexiest, most romantic short follicly impaired woman in the world. False advertising is rarely a good thing. [Coincidentally I have referred several ladies to Jaycee’s web site as an example of complete honesty in advertising: anyone who looks at her site cannot in good conscience claim they didn’t know what they would be finding on the other side of the door.]

Third—and possibly the most important—I try to never pin my expectations to a specific checklist. There might be one or two things I am looking forward to on a date, but I always focus in the most important thing is to spend some quality, sensual time with a pretty, sexy, young woman. Spontaneity has almost always trumped a script for me. Spontaneity coupled with encouraging a lady to show me what she does best has been even better.

I completely understand that what works for me may not—will not—work for everyone, but I firmly believe the basic principles of self-honesty, honest research, and staying flexible should improve almost all encounters.

Great post !!

As a hobbyist I have my self imposed guidelines;

1) She is a lady, treat her as one.
2) Yes, clean and ready.
3) Respect her time, be on time and don't over stay, She may have
another client in an hour, she needs to get ready. She may have an
errand that needs to be completed.
4) If I suggest a beverage I'll bring it.
5) I will ask or suggest what I want.

For the ladies;

1) Please be on time. I am or I called to say I was running late.
That is my time lost not yours.
2) Be ready, cleaned and dressed as needed.
3) Turn off that damn phone! You are being compensated
by me for your time, the phone can wait. (never had that
happen but I read about it.)
4) Reviews are the guys way of fending off the wannabe's.
I'm interested in finding someone that I want to visit with again
in the future. Let's have fun and make me want to return.

Have I been disappointed with a provider...once or twice, but maybe the
second time was not as good as the first time I was there. There can be
many reasons, so that does not warrant a bad review.

We are all here for our own reasons....let's play nice, play safe and
have a blast!!

I have written 1 "bad reviews" in 30+ years. One was a woman who essentially turned a two hour date into a 15 min rush and then claimed she was sick.

I have written other reviews that were less stellar than some, but I can't say I have had any other "bad" dates. If I think it was an honest chemistry issue I won't write a review at all (unless she wants one) because I feel my experience is not likely to be the same as others will have. I also feel I can write a respectful, honest, positive review yet still point out things that were not perfect. A heavy smoker who detracts from a session because her room is smoke ridden is one such (which is one reason I prefer to host).