I would REALLY like to respond to this topic. But because what I'm about to write is going to be a bit inflammatory to some of the ladies reading this, I wish to make a bit of a disclaimer.
Max. I adore you and consider you a friend. And to the other ladies: Nothing personal. I just tend to disagree with you. But just a little bit.
First, I'm not that fond of negotiation, either. But it's never really bothered me that much. Let me be the first person to say no, or give them a yes.
In my opinion, selling and negotiation is just something that is inherent in business. In different cultures, it's an ingrained sentiment of every day life.
So although I would prefer for someone to negotiate my rate UP, instead of downwards, it's really in the delivery of the "offer" that will cause me to either consider accepting what he has offered or declining, and feeling a bit put out by the whole situation.
The bottom line is that we're selling something very personal (I know you all know this but sometimes, guys don't act like they do). It's a different type of value.
That's why we're able to charge what we do because of what we give, and yes ... it's an emotional gift as well as physical.
But SO often, men don't treat us as a value and I'll admit that I might not be explaining what is in my mind correctly.
And that is why you'll see good females of this community, like the few above, trying to explain why haggling, negotiating, and yes, especially low-balling, is so often perceived as insulting.
Plus, it's also the whole
Men are from Mars/Women from Jupiter ... or whatever that book is. Guys tend to be so much more matter of fact about things.
As the collective female "we" can be that way as well. But there is always a deeper emotion involved with sex work. Most of you guys don't see it because it's not out there to view.
But the deeper emotional involvement, the giving, is always present. And when you haggle, it gives the perception of devaluing her/me/us as a person. A human being.
And then, it's complicated.
I've always had a bit more testosterone in my system than some. I guess that is why I've always had such an incredible high sex drive, even at my age.
I'm a business woman. Heck, we all are. And so with my age, and experience, I just have a different view. Ask me. Offer me a trade of silver or something, if you wish to do that. Gift cards? You betcha.
You'd rather pick me up a television set at Walmart than pay my fee? I'm listening, let's chat.
Heck, if it were war time, I'd trade for vegetables and stockings. Would I wish to? I'm very practically minded. It's a commodity. And yes, it can be a cold one.
But it doesn't have to be. I'm sure that even a few of my compadres above would agree that if asked REALLY nicely, a negotiation could be considered. For some.
I'll generally say no. But I've been known to say yes.
I'd give an example of something cute that happened a few months ago that applies here, but I've bored you all enough.
Happy Wednesday!
Elisabeth
P.S. I'd like to add one more thought. While thinking about this topic, I would like to PERSONALLY thank ALL of my clients, and certainly many of you are friends now, for the kindness that the vast majority have shown, and shared, with me. Honestly, it's just a few people that cause this type of angst. It's the exception and not the norm. But it's become MORE the norm the past few years with some of the overt rudeness. Seems more prevalent.