Suddenly shut out

Iaintliein's Avatar
It happens; miscommunication, misunderstanding, assumptions, cryptic messages, no different than any other situation involving two people really.

Sleep is more important, so don't loose any.
Hercules's Avatar
Boink another lady and post a review. THEN you'll hear from her cause she's pissed you saw someone else.
You started looking at this as more than a business relationship. You lease a car for transportation.....a hunting lease for hunting and a Provider for.......you know. Perhaps she sensed that you wanted more? You've plucked this grape vine bare. Move on to the next one and start plucking it hard!! If the first Provider wants to see you it's her call. But really...why care?
I'm thinking the OP wants to hear the reason from her, that's all. Does she owe him that for spending $$$$ on her? It might the kind of reason she doesn't want outted here, though, to protect her "Provider Personna".
Dandito's Avatar
I very rarely "shut people out."
My reasoning thus far has been because of stalker like tendencies that the other person develops, sadly not realizing it. Some people simply become creepy. Originally Posted by Fararri
Wait a minute, you mean texting your favorite provider 50+ times a day could become "creepy"? No wonder I can never get a date!

Ok, seriously - If you lack the emotional maturity to see this for what it really is, it will always get messy.
Also, sometimes people just need to move on to the next chapter in their lives without you. Go fuck someone else and you'll stop thinking about it.

Hey Fararri! Babe, you can start my engine any time! Just sayin
pyramider's Avatar
Move on. She will get in touch if and when she wants to.

Some free advice. If shes on here, don't reply to any posts she may make. Don't PM her. Don't read or comment on any reviews she gets. If you really liked her, honor her wishes and leave her alone. There could well be issues you have no knowledge of and more contact efforts may make them worse. Originally Posted by OldButStillGoing

Can the choir sing AMEN!!!


Why do all you tards want to race Fararri? I just want preventative maintenance including oil change and tire rotation.
It happens; miscommunication, misunderstanding, assumptions, cryptic messages, no different than any other situation involving two people really.

Sleep is more important, so don't loose any. Originally Posted by Iaintliein
+1

It happens - I cut people off if I feel I get too smitten or if they do and I don't feel the same.

I can say many clients like to keep in touch often and at times, I'm busy. Nothing more, nothing less - Busy. If I get the ol' "what's wrong" "are you mad at me" - that makes it awkward.

Sorry this happened, just remember relationships are relationships and even provider/client falls under that umbrella. Just because you pay doesn't mean she owes you a session and/or explanation. I know it really sucks to be on the end of 'not knowing' but that's life.

Just move on. Block her. Don't even have a moment where you let yourself hope to see her again. Obviously this bothered you - if she contacts you again, ignore her. Don't open yourself up for more bothersome situations.
Super Sonic's Avatar
Well, the bottom line is this is a Provider you're talking about. Providers deal with so many different men, it's easy for them to lump you into the "Client" category even if you feel you have established a friendship of sorts. Relationships within the Hobby are tenuous at best. Providers are serving up an illusion and persona, and I think sometimes they get confused as to where the line begins and ends between work and friendship, as do Hobbyists.

But, assuming you did have a legitimate friendship with her, the whole hiding and not giving any kind of explanation is exceedingly chicken shit and highly indicative of her character, IMHO. Some people think friendship is a one way street, and the only thing that counts is how a friendship benefits them. So, If you hear from her again, feel free to proceed, just go in with eyes wide open as to the kind of person you're dealing with.

My advice is to say: "Fuck her, feed her fish heads" and go have a frustration releasing PSE session with a hot chick today!.
Bobave's Avatar
Just move on. Block her. Don't even have a moment where you let yourself hope to see her again. Obviously this bothered you - if she contacts you again, ignore her. Don't open yourself up for more bothersome situations. Originally Posted by misspriss
This summarizes the situation about as well as can be done. I think it just takes time and experience with the hobby to fully appreciate the perspective.
I appreciate all the comments, suggestions, and thoughts. For those who have asked I had been thinking of her as a friend and in the same way as if one of my buddies had missed some plans and vanished, I first ignored it, then after a couple of days became concerned, then I was confused when I found out they vanished because they didn't care to be around me anymore.

That said, it doesn't really matter. She has the right to associate with whomever she pleases for whatever reason she chooses, it just caught me completely off guard when someone I had been thinking of as a friend didn't care to see me ever again. I had accepted there wasn't love in the hobby but maybe there also isn't friendship or maybe it's a different kind of friendship with different rules here. Anyways, I'm moving on and remembering our good times together, rather than focusing on this last little bit. It was fun and that's how I'll remember it.
Crimson32's Avatar
Wow.. Did you write that while listening to Celine Dion??
Superlark's Avatar
I feel the reason is you lent her money and said for the next session, so she will not contact you unless her business is slow one day.

Move on!
BBW Katrina's Avatar
Just the mere fact that you posted this at all shows you were In Too Deep. Isn't that a movie? Anyhoo, boundaries my friend....boundaries. Something provoked her decision.
Lmao @ Celine Dion!!!!!!!
addict's Avatar
You know "Pretty Woman" was not a documentary, right?
If the providers open up after they have known you for more than a few sessions, too often they reveal an upbringing in a home of a disfunctioning family.

Those scars develope into a very tough hide which helps them to cope in a profession requiring lots of compartmentalizing.

Back in the 1960's a movie entitled To Sir with Love did a huge disservice to the underachiever students who thought this was the way they should be taught.

Likewise the 1990's movie Pretty Woman gave too many the idea they might find their 'soul mate' in the hobby.

I realize my broadbrush analysis paints a not so perfect picture which may trigger a number of objections, but so be it.

But the song Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places IMHO trumps most of these objections.