Why Providers and not Affairs?

Or PITA....or laziness...

It is really simple...
Because when a man has an affair the woman has to go brag about it to someone or several people for that matter and it gets back to the cheaters wife/so. Of course this is not always the case but there are VERY few women that can kiss and NOT tell.

Oh the provider? We pay them to leave not to show up. The money spent is less then a divorce. Hmmm. Did someone say Cheaper2buyit? Sounds like a good user name. lol

There is obviously a gap between the way most of us seem to perceive ourselves and our motives to hobby, and the way we are perceived by Lilianna. It has been my experience in general, that men and women seldom see eye to eye on most issues, so Lillianna's opinion is not much of a suprise to me, and probably a good reason to pay her to leave when the fun is over.

THIS (click here) and THIS were interesting reads . . .

JR has addressed this issue several times both here and on ASPD in one way or another, and I tend to agree with his line of thinking and "take" on the issue - it is similar in some ways to Swarmy's thinking and that of a few other members here who have opinions I respect and find interesting. And, although it pains me a bit (I KEED), Thorough has a point - there really may not be any such thing as casual sex (I'm speaking from a position of completely over analyzing it, but the postulate, when taken to the extreme and reduced to absurdity, is a true statement IMHO).

Frankly, though, the reason is different for everyone and IME and in speaking with others, one's rationale changes over time . . . both as to why men pay and why women (myself included) choose this endeavor as a profession . . .

To interject a little levity: Gramps, I'm not sure why men chose "providers" or Escorts and not affairs, but my bank account thanks you. HA!

As for anyone believing that anything in life is free, well, IMO those people lack the ability to be truly and deeply emotionally empathetic. Nothing is "free", everything has a cost.

Just becasue something may not have a "price" (monetarily) doesn't mean it is free.

Kisses,

- Jackie

Hmm, I'm not sure where you think I am selling myself short. Originally Posted by SillyGirl

Your reviews say that you provide a high level of service. So my point is that there are guys who have quality mistresses who are not quite up to your level of quality, and they may want to experience what you provide. Of course I may be wrong, and a date with you is basically the same as what I would get from any girl. I don't know.

What I do know is that if I were providing a service that literally half the population of the planet could also provide, I would want to emphasize that mine is better than anyone else's and *of course* they would want to see me. Claiming that guys see you because other girls won't fuck them appears to be the wrong marketing plan. It makes you seem like a last resort, rather than a unique experience.

I'm not sure what you hope to achieve by claiming that hobbyists are guys who can't get any without paying for it. It sure doesn't seem to be the kind of assertion that would help your business. I get plenty without paying for it. I pay for it because I want sex that is

1) varied (age, race, body type, personality)
2) on my schedule
3) at my convenience
4) all about me

All of the above things are selfish, which is why I pay for it and don't expect a mistress (or a girlfriend, or a wife, or a fuck buddy) to satisfy my every desire. I admit I don't have 10 mistresses to satisfy my desire for variety. And my girlfriends have their own schedules, and their own desires. So I pay for it when I am feeling selfish.

I get that you hedged your words by claiming a "quality" mistress. And you are right, sometimes I pay a hooker because I couldn't get a 25-year old hottie to fuck me without paying for it. I still don't think you should be pointing it out. A salesperson would say "Even though you can get quality pussy for free, you should pay for mine, for these reasons..."

After all, you don't want guys to think "She's right! Why am I paying for it when I can get it for free?"

. . . you are right, sometimes I pay a hooker because I couldn't get a 25-year old hottie to fuck me without paying for it. Originally Posted by KCQuestor

Don't sell yourself short there, Q - you're no slouch.

Kisses,

- Jackie

No, I'm saying that for whatever reason (MARRIAGE included) if you can arrange to have quality pussy for free, why pay? Originally Posted by SillyGirl

As for anyone believing that anything in life is free, well, IMO those people lack the ability to be truly and deeply emotionally empathetic. Nothing is "free", everything has a cost.

Just becasue something may not have a "price" (monetarily) doesn't mean it is free.

Kisses,

- Jackie Originally Posted by jackie@sintropolis

Those are my feelings, Jackie just said it more eloquently.

Great thread, great thoughts. I'm shocked! I read a post from Thorough that didn't set my teeth on edge! Way to go Thorough.

I think one other reason for hobbying has been overlooked though. For some men paying for it in itself is the thrill, the fantasy. There is a taboo element to paying a woman that has nothing to do with whether the guy can get laid some other way. Its not about convenience or no strings. Its the act of buying it that is the turn on.

[quote=thorough9;1176243]Not to step on anybody's toes or purposefully offend, but if men really valued, extolled and upheld the virtue, character, merits, etc of women, and were truly concerned with not hurting anyone, would he be a hobbyist? People get hurt in hobbying as well. If your ATF, with whom you share such tender moments, etc decides that you've wronged her, does she not have a bigger and more menacing weapon to fire at your domestic tranquility: Not only were you cheating, but you were paying for it - that's a fun fact that my son shouldn't ever know. There is no such thing as casual sex, in any arena, not even if you pay for it.
quote]

Good point. Obviously the only full proof way to uphold "the virtue, character, merits, etc. of women and were truly concerned with not hurting anyone" is to simply not seek intimacy (or just sex) outside of one's marriage. Once we take that step for whatever reason, we're walking the tight rope. The danger is there...it's just a matter of deciding which way has the least chance of blowing up our personal lives. My personal opinion is that if one does due diligence in selecting a provider... our chances of having problems are far less than having affairs. As several have posted on this thread...there is no such thing as a free ride. With a provider, that cost is straight forward...honest... and out in the open. With a lover... the true cost is often a LOT more than most of us realize.

It is very hard to take people seriously when they cannot be bothered to read. Questor I'm looking at you for this one too, maybe instead of getting offended you actually try to see my point.



No one on this board can pick that woman up at the bar. I picked Mya deliberately because she is an objectively beautiful woman. And if you can, I ask again.......why do you hobby?

don't expect a mistress (or a girlfriend, or a wife, or a fuck buddy) to satisfy my every desire

Um.......why the fuck not? You enjoy having multiple expensive women that you then have to go and get MORE expensive women because you apparently can't get any of them to.....what? do blow jobs? stop fussing and make you a sammich? Why have a mistress that DOESN'T satisfy every desire?

So instead of getting all offended (ahem half this thread) why not look at why your mistress is so inadequate that you have to pay yet another woman to do what the mistress should have been doing all along?

And despite the fact that I have not made any personal attacks...........only voiced an opinion...the Lilianna Lynch Mob may now commence!

Lilianna.......I think I would prefer to be tied up (or down) by you!

And despite the fact that I have not made any personal attacks...........only voiced an opinion...the Lilianna Lynch Mob may now commence! Originally Posted by SillyGirl

..and you are loving every minute. You made your point and became the center of attention in another thread. Your opinion is loud and clear and
quite frankly my dear....
You should hook up with Mike in the other thread looking for an experienced provider.
When you tell him he couldn't have you if he wasn't paying he could respond with reasons
why he wouln't have you. Sounds like a great matchup.

This is an interesting thread. I find myself, as I'm sure many of us guys do, in a situation much similar to Gramps. My wife is a great lady and we have a good business relationship. She's very hot, but her work is her priority and we split up most of the child raising resposibilities. Sex to her is a release and often viewed as a chore, but I wouldn't call it inimate at all. One position a time, and mostly wanting me to finish as soon as possible.

I hobby because I miss the intimacy, but I really haven't found "intimacy' with a provider - but I have found great sex. My wife has had affairs in the past, and likely still does while she's travelling for work. Her work is her adrenaline and the guys fawning all over her make her feel important. So I don't feel guilty hobbying.

I've tried the mistress thing, and that works well with a lady that I visit in the road. My work schedule really isn't conducive to that anymore. So now I'm still hobbying but looking for that UTR type of girl that is selective with who she see's. Maybe it's a game for this girl (yet to be found for me) but she seems attracted to me and enjoys more than just pleasing me in the sack. I guess its more of a sugar daddy type of situation. It's probably a pipe dream, but the search continues.

And despite the fact that I have not made any personal attacks...........only voiced an opinion...the Lilianna Lynch Mob may now commence! Originally Posted by SillyGirl

Yeah, you haven't attacked any one person, you're just attacking all of the hobbiests.