I got jokes!

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She Gagged

Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Ken Came in another box

What is 6.9?

A good thing ruined by a period

Nice budman33. Guys and gals keep em coming.

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet ? 2014 Hide and seek world champion .

What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A Seatbelt

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The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

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A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even have enough time to undressed himself." So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call girlfriend, he asks, what happened? She responds, "The Bastard used coins I'm still picking and he is still f*cking!"

Hard to follow THAT guy...(not what she said)

But here goes,

What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.


What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? - A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

Whats the difference between love, lust, and showing off?
Spitting, Swallowing, & gargling.

Know how to get a nun pregnant?
Fuck her.

A father is having his buddies over playing poker one night. During the evening the son keeps interfering with the hands. So one of the fathers buddies takes the boy into his room. When the friend comes back alone the father asks "what did you do to keep Jimmy from bugging us?" The friend replies " I showed him how to jerk off"

A father is having his buddies over playing poker one night. During the evening the son keeps interfering with the hands. So one of the fathers buddies takes the boy into his room. When the friend comes back alone the father asks "what did you do to keep Jimmy from bugging us?" The friend replies " I showed him how to jerk off" Originally Posted by tmac39

Ha. That's a good one

What do you call a nurse with dirty knees??

Head nurse

OK--hee is a link to a joke running up on the National boards--it is gross, so don't complain about not being able to "unsee" this when you have finished cringing and maybe laughing.

Caution: I would never tell this joke in mixed company and most likely would not share it with my guy friends. Ony look if you like gross jokes--you were warned, so no complaints.

Here is the link, but only if you are not squimish--start with post 1:
http://eccie.net/showthread.php?p=10...post1056876178

OK--hee is a link to a joke running up on the National boards--it is gross, so don't complain about not being able to "unsee" this when you have finished cringing and maybe laughing.

Caution: I would never tell this joke in mixed company and most likely would not share it with my guy friends. Ony look if you like gross jokes--you were warned, so no complaints.

Here is the link, but only if you are not squimish--start with post 1:
http://eccie.net/showthread.php?p=10...post1056876178 Originally Posted by BugleBoy

Really? Really?? That is your definition of gross? Best stop reading now then:

Guy gets a job working at a mortuary, and after a couple weeks of training, the head mortician decided to let him solo for the first time, on a beautiful young woman who recently died of natural causes. He tells the kid if he gets hung up or has any questions to come to his office. He's in his office doing paperwork, when the kid comes in and says, "Hey, I know this is pretty weird, but for some reason there's a jumbo shrimp in this woman's vagina." Head mortician looks up-"Is this some kind of joke?"

"No, I swear, it's true. Weirdest thing I ever saw."

"This better not be a joke. This is a very serious business." Gets up, goes into the embalming room, peers between her legs, and says "Young man, that's not a shrimp, that's her clitoris."

Kid squints, looks, straightens up and says, "I'll be damned. Well, it tasted like shrimp."

"I'll be damned. Well, it tasted like shrimp." Originally Posted by Txcruiser

Really--Just another day in the hobby for me.