dirty joke of the day.....

What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?

Where you put the cucumber.

Try this one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwNXn-MhDWw

Plasstic man goes on a date....sorry, this isn't fantasy!

How do you get Plasstic Man and his 3 buttys on a barstool?
Turn it over Originally Posted by Howdy Do Me

yawn ...a woman scorned

Drunk is sitting at the bar and says to the bar tender I'll bet you $500 dollars that I can piss I'm a shot glass on the other side of the bar and not get a drop on the bar top. Bartender thinks it over and says alright I'll take that bet. Drunk whips it out and starts pissing all over the bar, the bottles even get some at the bartender. Zips up his pants and asks how'd I do. Bartender says happily you hit everything but the glass. Drunk says ok hold on let me go to the ATM. Instead goes into the back up to 3 other drunks then comes back and gives the bartender the 500. Bartender out of curiosity asks what happened in the back. Drunk says oh I bet each one of them $1000 dollars I could pee on your bar and you'd be smiling while I did it.

Good one brs...

Great thread!!

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

"Ack ack gag gag" Originally Posted by Frankie Fine

I had dinner the other night over Jeffery Dahmer's house.
He said: "How do ya like it so far?"
I said: "I'm havin' a ball!"
He said: "Slow down you're eatin' too fast."

Frankie, Did I ever tell you that I love you?

a man walks into a bar ...rapes an albino dwarf on ...a pool table ...then leaves

...bawhahahahaha! Originally Posted by Plastic Man

Question: Whadaya call a gay midget?
Answer: "Sweet and Low".

What is the difference between Plastic Man and a Freezer. The freezer doesn't fart when his boyfriend pulls the meat out. Originally Posted by xtsy79

Question: What's the difference between a Hoover Vacuum and a Harley?
Answer: The position of the dirt bag.

Plasstic man goes on a date....sorry, this isn't fantasy!

How do you get Plasstic Man and his 3 buttys on a barstool?
Turn it over Originally Posted by Howdy Do Me

I knew a guy who got drunk and accidentally sat down on an upside-down bar stool and it nearly “rectum”.

Rectum? I should say, damned near killed ‘em.

A prospector’s been panning for gold in the hills for five years. Finally he goes down to the one-horse town in the valley, walks into the bar and asks the bartender: “Any women around these here parts?” The bartender replies: “Nope, just old Joe in the back room.” The prospector says: “Oh, no. I don’t go for that shit.” and goes back to the hills.

After five more years in the hills, the prospector returns: “Any women around these here parts?” Again, the bartender informs him: “Nope, just old Joe in the back room.” “Oh, no. I don’t go for that shit.” was the reply.

Now, after enduring ten long years, the prospector suddenly has a change of heart as he asks the bartender: “Well, who’s gonna know about this?” The bartender responds: “Well, there’s you, me, old Joe, and Eustace.” The prospector asks: “Eustace? Who the hell is Eustace?”

The bartender answers: Eustace is the guy that’s a gonna hold old Joe down ‘cause he don’t go for that shit neither.”

One morning a woman says to her husband " Honey, it's almost my birthday and I'd like to have bigger boobs". The husband says " I have an idea, why don't you go into the living room and mash your tits into the couch while I'm at work and we'll see what happens". The wife gets a little huffy and says " wtf is that gonna do?" He says " I'm not sure but it worked for your ass!!!!!!!!"

What do u call a lesbian with long fingers?

well hung

I went to the drug store yesterday to purchase some Viagra.

The pharmacist asked if I had a prescription, so I reached into my wallet and showed him a picture of my wife.

Three traveling men are forced to share a bed.

The next morning, upon awakinging, the man who slept on the left side claims, "I dreamt last night about my first girlfriend and a handjob she gave me."

The man who slept on the right side replies, "Funny, I had a dream about a handjob I got at a parlor in Florida."

The man who slept in the middle laments, "You guys are lucky. I just dreamed I was cross-country skiing."