if you were going to make a friend, what's important

"- to see if they are trustworthy to keep all of our "hooker secrets"

You can trust US! What are the Hooker Secrets?

I have made one friend on here. Seen her professionally a couple times but we text all the time. Similar interests, careers, kids, and such. Have only known her a short time but feel like I have known her my whole life. When you make that connection with someone you need to keep the guard up up to weed through the bs but once you really get to know someone the guard can come down. I can honestly count my true friends on one hand and she is one of them.

I have become friends with a provider after we met a few times BCD. she has recently retired, and entered a relationship which I respect. We talk from time to time and just have a very open friendship.

Here are my qualities of a friend.

Fun
Respectful
Integrity
Encouraging
Nice
Dependable
Selfless

Mutual respect, genuine person, caring,and considerate of themselves and others. Someone who accepts YOU for who YOU are and you can be YOURSELF. Someone who makes the effort to be your friend equally and that over time you can trust.

Of course my answer is going to vary a little because of how I met them. Couldn't and wouldn't become a friend will a male in the hobby...not a straight one anyways. That's definitely not what I came in this for. But my requirement for a friend whether they have a penis or vagina or both i'm not a fan of jealous or petty people that will make you old to me very quick. I don't like pushy people if I say no i'm one of those people that when I say that word I mean no. Not okay if you nag or push or throw a bf I'm going to say yes-no ....it'll still be no. I'm a giving person so don't take take take if you never give. I think i'm rather considerate and like the same treatment. Oh yeah um racists need not apply. No anorexics (can't be afraid to eat a steak and keep it down for at least 2 hrs), i've tried being friends with vegans and vegetarians and um yeah no you need to at least tolerate me kicking this hamburger's ass in front of you. They've gotta love cartoons. Don't be a stick-in-the-mud. If you're a female in the biz (fine by that) being interested in being remotely close to buddies with me lol i'm a tom-boy that likes pretty bras and MAC but girly-girls are fine by me just be easy with the pink.

following reese, err, following up on reese's fantastic posts about friendships in the hobby, ......

if you decided, consciously or unconsciously, that you wanted to become friends with someone in the hobby, male or female, ... and i understand that's a BIG IF ... and that the definition of "friend" will vary widely ....

what characteristics in that person would be more important than others? what characteristics would be a total turnoff and not make them a potential friend? what characteristics would cause you to end the friendship [that's assuming they "sprung it on you" or started showing it sometime after you started the friendship].

would your answer be the same or different if the person was NOT in the hobby in any way, shape or form?


i asked cos over the past 10 yrs, i have met several women and men in our little sub-culture. when i look at me and at them and others, i wonder what it is about me that led some to be involved w/ me [limited friendships as there is that BIG line separating us]. and i sometimes wonder why others have chosen to get involved w/ others whom i would not consider.


for me, it'd be mutual non-hobby interests, candor/straightforwardness/down-to-earthness, humor, laid backness, and understanding that it'd be a now and again thing, not a weekly or frequent hanging together time. [that's why i said it'd be a limited friendship].

and i wouldnt be able to always offer a shoulder to cry on, to be there to help move/fix/replace something, to give you a ride, etc. it'd be more along the lines of let's meet for lunch or dinner or drinks.

like i said, just wondering about what makes some of us tick..... Originally Posted by pmdelites

You can't pick your friends, you can only choose to be someone's friend.

Respecting boundaries are important in any form of relationship be it business, friendship or romantic....

What you wrote sounds right. Friends lite!

I did not mean for my post to sound so mercenary and cold. What you all provide is priceless for a price. Thanks! Originally Posted by bigcranium

Priceless for a price. I like that.

No, honestly, you were on point I believe.
Not everyone is looking for friendship. Some are looking for the hookup. With any friendship reciprocation is the biggest issue. It's rare in any part of life to get people to treat you like you treat them. Let alone where the exchange is fair. With the hookup, the exchange is always going to be lopsided, because it's all about getting what you want for less. Thank goodness they don't print Pussy Coupons.

In this business it all depends on the mindset of the people involved. If Provider A always rushes her customers out the door because Client A always overstays, she will have no patience for Client B who brought a bottle of wine to share over chit-chat. And Client A will tell Provider B that she has GPS because she won't see him for $100.

Now who's looking for friendship and who's looking for the hookup?

Honesty followed by Respect...AND THEN PERSONAL BOUNDARIES

For me it's been much easier to make and maintain friendships with men in the hobby, than it is women. So, I limit my girlfriendly contact to my doubles partners these days . Neither would ever pull some "behind my back" type stuff, which is much more than I can say for others. Trust is everything.

In friendships with hobbyists, I value: honesty, humor, trust, and an easy-going, play-it-by-ear attitude towards life. Some have lasted over a decade, some a few years, but all of them have been great experiences and I am really lucky to have met these folks! Friends in the true sense of the word, are hard to come by... no matter where you find 'em.

thanks to all who have replied.
as i wrote, i started this as a result of reese's fantastic posts about friendships in the hobby.

from this small sample, i'd conclude that friendships in this sub-culture are feasible, whether between man and woman, woman and woman, or man and man.

good to know!!