He's Saying "I love you"...

Always keep boundaries clear. As you should know, a lot of people get caught in the fantasy and can't deliver in the real world. There is a lot of cooking and cleaning, mowing grass, making money and making the bed for that matter that go into a relationship. If he or you is not up for that it is not going to work. Originally Posted by oden
Good point about mowing the grass. That would send me running for sure.
FireKitten's Avatar
Been there, done that. Ditto, ditto, ditto.

RUN. Cut him off completely. Even if it seems calm and quiet, you'll end up with more complications than you'd ever want. If you have no interest in being his new love for life, then stop it. This is not about resetting boundaries, esp moving this quickly; it will be miserable pressure for both of you to continue, in some false setting of "business".

It's hard. Do it.
Very good advice.
Slim,
From what you've described it does not sound like he is trying to be a sugar daddy....therefore....

He is likely going through a tough time at home both emotionally and sexually and is smitten with the attention you have given him. You can take that as a compliment that you have done well to connect with him in both ways. My guess is that he has not seen any other ladies or maybe one or two that provided a very poor experience. Then you came along and he was satisfied.

Tell him you are not in this for love and encourage (push, cajole, force) him to see other, reputable providers so he can understand that the IOP is just that...an illusion...but that he can gain his composure through satisfying his sexual urges with you and the other ladies. You will need to insist he see other ladies too. Maybe allow him up to 6 months at most to come to his senses after getting acquainted with the lovely ECCIE ladies and then if he still tries to remain clingy cut him loose. Originally Posted by CS25
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He began to do what some men do in the hobby: make empty promises about buying me an apartment, taking me on trips wherever I want to go, etc, but he said we would have to wait to do this until January when his cash flow will be bigger. I would simply smile and mutter, "Maybe...we'll see how things turn out, hun" to be polite, knowing it was bullshit but didn't want to be rude, nor did I want to make false promises in case he was serious.

Should I cut this one loose? Is he too attached? And if so, how do I do so without being a complete bitch? Originally Posted by Slim.
So what happens if he is serious and throws a bunch of life changing money at you or introduces you to a different social class. Then what?

My advice is that even if he does he's gonna make you work for it. He sounds like an old fool who only respects your BCD skills at the moment. The minute it goes sour he's gonna let you know how he saved you. If you want to pursue it to see where it could possibly lead then give it more time BCD. I have to admit it does sounds like the material promises has piqued your curiosity.
KlassyKelliAnn's Avatar
Been there, done that. Ditto, ditto, ditto.

RUN. Cut him off completely. Even if it seems calm and quiet, you'll end up with more complications than you'd ever want. If you have no interest in being his new love for life, then stop it. This is not about resetting boundaries, esp moving this quickly; it will be miserable pressure for both of you to continue, in some false setting of "business".

It's hard. Do it. Originally Posted by FireKitten


Ditto.
Gotyour6's Avatar
Had a hooker tell me she loves me... blah blah blah.

Pure bullshit.

As far as him goes..

Tell him you are a hooker and you can't love an old man.

Shut him down and tell him to never contact you again.
Carolina Girl Holly's Avatar
Oops, I'm sorry, I'm booked; or I met someone or I'm moving, family emergency, some excuse to not book appointment; you will get the business to replace him once he frees up YOUR TIME. and put a 411 out in your area on this stalker, in your area so the other ladies will not get in his trap...

I had been seeing a gentleman on a somewhat consistent basis for the past month now. He is significantly older and married, but his marriage is on the rocks and he feels neglected and lonely. Since he is retired, he has quite a bit of time on his hands, so he likes to spend a lot of time with me, which I did not mind until recently.

He began to do what some men do in the hobby: make empty promises about buying me an apartment, taking me on trips wherever I want to go, etc, but he said we would have to wait to do this until January when his cash flow will be bigger. I would simply smile and mutter, "Maybe...we'll see how things turn out, hun" to be polite, knowing it was bullshit but didn't want to be rude, nor did I want to make false promises in case he was serious.

The main topic of discussion quickly became "If we lived together..." and he told me what his rules would be, which consisted of: a) being able to come and go as he pleases b) me doing the nasty with him whenever he wanted it.

I still kept my "We'll see..." answer while also reminding him that was something that would happen way in the future if it were to ever happen, so we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves here, especially since we haven't known each other for more than a month!

Well, within a week, he begins to tell me he loves me. I had no idea what to say. At first I kind of chuckled and tried to make a light-hearted joke out of the fact that he doesn't really know me, but he shot the joke down with a serious remark, "You may not believe me, but I do."

I am beginning to wonder whether or not this guy understands GFE literally means Girlfriend EXPERIENCE, not girlfriend FOR ETERNITY. I am also wondering if this could turn into a serious, more dangerous matter when he begins to fully understand his feelings are not returned.

I never tell him I love him too and when he talks about seeing me, I make sure to keep the conversation hobby-related, always asking him how much time he would like to spend with me and kindly reminding me of my donation requests for the allotted time.

Should I cut this one loose? Is he too attached? And if so, how do I do so without being a complete bitch? Originally Posted by Slim.
Jewish Lawyer's Avatar
There is actually another solution that no one here has seriously considered. I've tried to convince my wife it is a good idea, but she hasn't bought into either, yet.
Guys should convert to Mormonism along with their wife. Then, marry all the hookers you like. How is one wife going to complain (too much) if you take another wife to South Beach? After all, she's your fucking wife!
I've fallen in love with several girls I've seen in the hobby, and I'm sure they realize it. However, I haven't said anything to them about it because my wife is not a very open minded person when it comes to sharing the family's material and emotional spoils. I've told her that the oldest wife has a substantial place in Mormonism, but she just looks at me like I'm an asshole, and doesn't speak to me for a couple of days...which I manage to overcome, somehow...
I have been through this a couple of times. He's lonely, desperate and baiting you to be in a 'so-called emotional relationship' so he can get some free time with you. Don't do it!
Skittlez's Avatar
You are receiving good counsel about shutting down 'the relationship', since he cannot distinguish between your personal and professional motives. However, no need to crash and burn him. I certainly don't encourage you to be an a**ho** about it. Just be clear, curt and 'professional', walk away and do what you do... (very) likely, he'll get the message and re-adjust.
JL: Greatness. Only problem I see is you can't find good Tex-Mex in remote parts of Utah. Outside of that, I've seen interviews with "sister-wives" in such arrangements and they like it. Many had been in prior marriages. The shared responsibilities, more time to do things, have a career, etc. One guy had 7 wives and 3 of them knew they were there for sex.



There is actually another solution that no one here has seriously considered. I've tried to convince my wife it is a good idea, but she hasn't bought into either, yet.
Guys should convert to Mormonism along with their wife. Then, marry all the hookers you like. How is one wife going to complain (too much) if you take another wife to South Beach? After all, she's your fucking wife!
I've fallen in love with several girls I've seen in the hobby, and I'm sure they realize it. However, I haven't said anything to them about it because my wife is not a very open minded person when it comes to sharing the family's material and emotional spoils. I've told her that the oldest wife has a substantial place in Mormonism, but she just looks at me like I'm an asshole, and doesn't speak to me for a couple of days...which I manage to overcome, somehow... Originally Posted by Jewish Lawyer
Carolina Girl Holly's Avatar
There is actually another solution that no one here has seriously considered. I've tried to convince my wife it is a good idea, but she hasn't bought into either, yet.
Guys should convert to Mormonism along with their wife. Then, marry all the hookers you like. How is one wife going to complain (too much) if you take another wife to South Beach? After all, she's your fucking wife!
I've fallen in love with several girls I've seen in the hobby, and I'm sure they realize it. However, I haven't said anything to them about it because my wife is not a very open minded person when it comes to sharing the family's material and emotional spoils. I've told her that the oldest wife has a substantial place in Mormonism, but she just looks at me like I'm an asshole, and doesn't speak to me for a couple of days...which I manage to overcome, somehow... Originally Posted by Jewish Lawyer
Lmfao: I love you, love your sense of humor, I can't stop laughing, got tears in my eye....your wife needs to come around lmao
I have to admit it does sounds like the material promises has piqued your curiosity. Originally Posted by Zanzibar789
Ehh...somewhat at first. But then it quickly fizzled when I saw all the strings that would be attached to it. Nothing that nice ever comes without a serious price.

UPDATE:
After explaining to him 28743647236423 times I don't ever want to be with him romantically and that he should see other ladies, he tells me, "Well, I was actually thinking about it anyways and realized I could never be with someone that does what you do for money..."

I said, "Then why fall in love with a hooker in the first place, fuck ass??"
thebuffmantraples's Avatar
Ehh...somewhat at first. But then it quickly fizzled when I saw all the strings that would be attached to it. Nothing that nice ever comes without a serious price.

UPDATE:
After explaining to him 28743647236423 times I don't ever want to be with him romantically and that he should see other ladies, he tells me, "Well, I was actually thinking about it anyways and realized I could never be with someone that does what you do for money..."

I said, "Then why fall in love with a hooker in the first place, fuck ass??" Originally Posted by Slim.
Thanks for the update! Sounds like you kids had fun uplifting each others spirits for a couple weeks.
Ehh...somewhat at first. But then it quickly fizzled when I saw all the strings that would be attached to it. Nothing that nice ever comes without a serious price.

UPDATE:
After explaining to him 28743647236423 times I don't ever want to be with him romantically and that he should see other ladies, he tells me, "Well, I was actually thinking about it anyways and realized I could never be with someone that does what you do for money..."

I said, "Then why fall in love with a hooker in the first place, fuck ass??" Originally Posted by Slim.
It's hard for most guys to accept being with a woman who used to be a hooker. The truth (in my opinion) is that no guy can truly love a woman and be ok with her hooking while in a serious relationship. I'd guess in 99.99% of cases it just won't work. Now if she stops hooking some guys can and do accept it and love them.

In this case he responded out of rejection don't let it make you feel bad.