Funny Stuff & Jokes

I found this angel haha

What do women and a bar have in common?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

Pretty fucking ironic.. Hahaha

Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?" His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!" "What do you mean?" said Dad. "Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure

Men have two emotions hungry and horny so if you see he doesn't have an erection make him a sandwich.

I found this angel haha

What do women and a bar have in common?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

Pretty fucking ironic.. Hahaha Originally Posted by Legacy69

Men have two emotions hungry and horny so if you see he doesn't have an erection make him a sandwich. Originally Posted by wnykittenkisser

Truth

Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?" His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!" "What do you mean?" said Dad. "Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure Originally Posted by Legacy69

Hahaha

A guy procures hooker who tells him the rate is $150.00 per hour. He tells her he will give her $500.00 per hour for three hours if she will do it his way. She says what's your way he says on credit.

A guy procures hooker who tells him the rate is $150.00 per hour. He tells her he will give her $500.00 per hour for three hours if she will do it his way. She says what's your way he says on credit. Originally Posted by wnykittenkisser

😂😆

A guy procures hooker who tells him the rate is $150.00 per hour. He tells her he will give her $500.00 per hour for three hours if she will do it his way. She says what's your way he says on credit. Originally Posted by wnykittenkisser

The gay guy he already has his shit packed

If I offended anyone I apologize it was the first joke that came to mind Originally Posted by tw758

Two gay guys and two lesbians simultaneously decide to take a trip. Which two are ready to go first?

Wait for it...

Wait for it a little more...

The lesbians are ready to go lickity split while the gay guys till have pack their shit.

Again, no offenst to any persuassions, its just a fun play on words.

crap. this thread cutting into my nothing thread dang nab it all

crap. this thread cutting into my nothing thread dang nab it all Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

the threAD queen strikes again

A husband and wife of thirty years lay in bed naked after making passionate love , the wife looks into her husband's eyes and asks him," honey, what did you think when you first saw me naked ?" Without hesitation the husband responds ," I wanted to suck your titties dry and fuck your brains out". So then the wife asks him , " what do you think now?" The husband responds," I did a damn good job!" Lol.