- Sonya
- 02-12-2014, 12:44 PM
Dresses. I usually get 14s and have them tailored. But depends on the cut. See? Even I can't just assume a size fits. But then I have some jeans that are 10s and some that are 8s.
- Guest082318
- 02-12-2014, 01:41 PM
I bought my valentine a brand new vacuum cleaner one time. Even gave her and extra package of bags. I still can't figure out why she was so pissed.
- TexasGator
- 02-12-2014, 01:47 PM
Originally Posted by OldWoodCrafter
- Guest102114
- 02-12-2014, 06:20 PM
Pots, pans, an iron, a Swiffer mop, a vacuum cleaner, all things I might use to whomp you over the head with for thinking of me in domestic terms. (If you want me to wear my French maid's outfit, just ask.)
Valentine's Day is not the time for practicality. (Although all of the above items were greatly appreciated when I first moved into my incall.) I was going to include a battery charger on the unapproved list, but that actually has practical uses for a professional lady, depending on the extent of her toy collection.
Ten gifts a provider might not be thrilled with on V-Day:
1. Framed photo of her ATF and his wife.
2. Thong underwear from the resale shop.
3. Homeless kittens. (She already has a pussy for you to pet.)
4. Massage oil, unless you are going to use it on HER for a change.
5. Sugar-free chocolates. (Is that a HINT?)
6. Summer's Eve gift set. (Again, is that a HINT?)
7. Vibrating butt plug for a girl not into anal. (Although she may stick it where the sun don't shine on YOU.)
8. Flowers you "borrowed" from the cemetery, you cheap bastard. (At least remember to remove the sympathy card.)
9. Stockings you obviously bought in someone else's size, since your provider is 5 inches taller and 20 lbs lighter.
10. Personalized jewelry engraved with the wrong initials. (Who were you thinking of when you bought THAT? Even worse, did you give the one with the provider's initials to your wife?)
lmfao!!! I love this chick! My kind of chick...
Valentine's Day is not the time for practicality. (Although all of the above items were greatly appreciated when I first moved into my incall.) I was going to include a battery charger on the unapproved list, but that actually has practical uses for a professional lady, depending on the extent of her toy collection.
Ten gifts a provider might not be thrilled with on V-Day:
1. Framed photo of her ATF and his wife.
2. Thong underwear from the resale shop.
3. Homeless kittens. (She already has a pussy for you to pet.)
4. Massage oil, unless you are going to use it on HER for a change.
5. Sugar-free chocolates. (Is that a HINT?)
6. Summer's Eve gift set. (Again, is that a HINT?)
7. Vibrating butt plug for a girl not into anal. (Although she may stick it where the sun don't shine on YOU.)
8. Flowers you "borrowed" from the cemetery, you cheap bastard. (At least remember to remove the sympathy card.)
9. Stockings you obviously bought in someone else's size, since your provider is 5 inches taller and 20 lbs lighter.
10. Personalized jewelry engraved with the wrong initials. (Who were you thinking of when you bought THAT? Even worse, did you give the one with the provider's initials to your wife?)
lmfao!!! I love this chick! My kind of chick...
- Guest082318
- 02-12-2014, 07:44 PM
Would a set of knee pads make a thoughtful gift?
- pyramider
- 02-12-2014, 08:37 PM
One would thinck #7 would be appreciated.
- Dorian Gray
- 02-12-2014, 09:35 PM
- DallasRain
- 02-12-2014, 10:21 PM
knee pads---yeahhhhhhhhh and in pink {my FAVE color}
- zerodahero
- 02-12-2014, 10:40 PM
I just dump my girlfriend before Valentines Day so I don't have to buy her anything
- Sonya
- 02-13-2014, 11:55 AM
Lol I would so love those knee pads. They'd match my boxing gloves. :-)
- Amelia Sterling
- 02-13-2014, 12:07 PM
- zerodahero
- 02-13-2014, 03:54 PM
LOL! Hey it could be worse
- Fancyinheels
- 02-14-2014, 07:07 AM
If anyone wants to get me pretty lingerie today, green goes well with my auburn hair, size 18 for a 6-foot frame, 44C, and no idea at all what my waist is. Someone bring a tape measure.
Or a gift certificate to Cacique, the plus-sized shop for lady parts, works, too.
However, in my experience, most gentlemen just prefer a towel... that drops quickly.
Or a gift certificate to Cacique, the plus-sized shop for lady parts, works, too.
However, in my experience, most gentlemen just prefer a towel... that drops quickly.