arklookn4lovn wrote:
Obviously the SD/SB has worked well for you. Compare with your hobby experience. Do you ever attain the same comfort level?
I'm an adaptable person. I used to hobby twice a week, on average. (All my hobbying now is in threesomes with my SB.) If I was seeing a provider for the first time, there was a little nervousness on both are parts because, well, we were just meeting and we're about to do something really intimate. But that small amount of nervousness can be a good thing.
If I'm playing with a SB candidate for the first time (I call her a "candidate" because I would NEVER agree to enter into a SD-SB relationship without having played with the girl first), I'm again a little nervous but chances are she's REALLY nervous. One thing that distinguishes a SB from a provider is that there's some seduction involved with getting a SB into bed. You don't walk into her incall, plop down your envelope, and get down to business. I've had six long-term SBs, and all but one had a relatively small amount of sexual experience when I met her (5-10 sexual partners).
So a wise SD should take the time to get to know the SB candidate before he starts boning her. Having lunch at the first meet, then engaging in an activity (I like to take them shooting) at the beginning of the second meet is like foreplay, and helps to make the SB less nervous. But no matter what you do, some nervousness is going to remain.
Once I've entered into a relationship, intimacy, trust, and communication all increase exponentially. My current SB (No. 6) is typical in my experiences. She texts me every day at least 10 times, asking how I am and what I'm doing. If I'm not busy, I may even respond. Haha. No. 3 used to call me every morning when I hit the office and talk for at least 30 minutes. I really liked her and never minded the time commitment. This contact leads to intimacy. And it's intimacy that a hobbyist can only rarely -- maybe never -- get from seeing providers, where the contact is limited and all on the clock.
Why do SBs behave this way? Sure, they're very grateful for the support. But an important part of any SD-SB relationship is mentoring. The way I look at it, why should I give my hard-earned money to a girl who'll only blow it on something stupid when she can defer instant gratification and plan for the future? That's one reason many SBs want SDs -- they want direction. My SBs were 18 to 24 years-old when I met them, and WTF does anyone at that age know? Nada.
One thing I urge my SBs to do is save at least 25% of whatever I give them. If they do that, I match it after a few months, but I don't tell them in advance I'm going to do that. Call me a bent puppetmaster, but I need to know if she's got the smarts for the long haul with me. Of course, if they get a matching grant from me the first time, after that they ALWAYS save at least 25% because they know their responsibility will be rewarded.
If I can't trust a girl after a couple of months because she cancels meets or engages in some other irresponsible behavior, I just end it. But after a few months have passed and things are going well, I don't have a problem with fronting my SB her allowance. By then, I'm paying for things above her allowance, too, like phones, other electronic doodads, clothes, hair care, massages, tans, tattoos -- you name it. All those things that make a young girl happy. Haha. By six months or so, everything should be clicking. You're happy because she's pretty, young, and tight, she's reliable, and you know what makes her tick. She's happy because you make her life better, she trusts you, and you don't pop after 30 seconds like boys her own age. Haha. If you're there, you've achieved SD-SB Bliss.
These are some reasons why hobbying and having a SB are very different. As I wrote in the thread in the Dallas Forum, after I ditched SB No. 5 in November, I went on a provider binge and saw three lovely ladies in five days. All were very pretty and ranged in age from 21 to 25 years old. During the same five days, I met and bedded a 19 year-old SB candidate on the first day I put a profile on a web site, and I had more fun banging her than I had with all three of the providers put together. Why? Because I spent about three hours with her before we did the deed gambling, having dinner, and making out. Maybe it's just me, but the time I spend with a SB vertically -- foreplay to me, getting attention to her -- is just as important as the time I spend with her horizontally. Maybe even more important.
I mean, I met a man on cl that dropped 7 g's and paid my car off, only new him a good 3 months...( LUCK, I guess?! )... all I did was help a little and offer services, it was never my idea... only his because my car was totaled in a wreck and he could tell I was a good girl. Hee continued to see me... so it's just finding someone with a careing, helping heart... I think all reg. clients are like sugar daddies if they are devoted to just one girl... we make them happy, they provide, we provide, they make us happy! 
sugar luv and provider relations... same thing if you create a bond with a regular...just less stress, I think.
